Just a quick update…if you follow this blog, you know that the Archangel Michael supposedly paid me a visit last week because God wanted more people to go to Church. For some reason, the big guy thought that if I wrote about it in my blog, attendance would increase. Here’s the post if you haven’t read it already (God’s pissed).
I’m still not sure if it really happened, or if it was all just a dream, but there was just a knock on my front door. When I open it, I discovered a Buddy Christ statue on the porch (see the photo above). There was also a note which read: “Preliminary numbers are in. Attendance up 10%. Keep up the God work. M”.
I chuckled at the play on words, and plan to keep the statue since it’s from the movie Dogma, and I’m a huge Kevin Smith fan. I assume the items were left by a friend looking to bust my chops. I mean, that is what happened, right?
Do they even take attendance at Church? How would anyone know if the numbers are up and be able to calculate them so quickly? I’m totally over thinking this, right?
Modern Philosophers, help me out here. This is all just a joke, right? God isn’t really depending on my blog to get people to go to Church, is he? He didn’t have my blog Freshly Pressed just so more people would read it and see that article, did he? If more people in Maine went to Church today, it’s probably because they were praying for the Patriots to win tonight and go to the Super Bowl, right???
I’m very confused. I’m just going to watch the football game and hope that the only angel who stops by for the rest of the week is the fallen one with the horns and pitchfork, who acts like he lives here…
Damnit, I laughed out loud (as I am supposed to be doing homework, due at midnight… I am a procrastinator) my boyfriend said “I don’t think you are doing homework.” I AM!!!!!!!!! Finding out about God and Michael which really has nothing to do with homework
This post was really funny, I would be bugging out if that ended up at my front door. You (might) have sparked change… maybe it’s calculated by donations?
Well, if God is really behind it, I’m sure he could count that quickly. I’m also thinking that attendance was up in the four big cities whose teams are playing today. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. It was just silly filler,and I thought since it was Sunday, I should update things. Sorry to interrupt your homework. You’d better not read the Gargoyle post then…
You should really be writing for The Onion. So funny.
Thanks. I checked out the website yesterday and it was VERY CLEAR that they would not accepted unsolicited resumes and they were not hiring. They won’t even give me a chance…
Damn. Well your writing seems like it would fit right in there.
You’re not the first to say that, but they don’t seem to want outsiders. Hopefully, something else will come along. Thank you for the compliment.
Feh, who needs ‘em. They’d just be riding on your coattails. Keep up the excellent work and something will come your way.
Thank you for the kind words and confidence.
No offense, but I’m fairly sure the spike in attendance is the result not of your blog, but of football fans. Not that I’m bitter. HOWEVER, if you were a preacher, I might actually go to THAT church.
No offense taken since defense wins championships…
Doesn’t matter…you received the coveted “Buddy Christ” statue. That is a win.
Amen!
Well, God is supposedly omniscient, so it’s really easy for him to track the attendance numbers and to find out that it was due to your hard work. Though, he’s also supposedly omnipotent, so he should have been able to increase attendance by himself.
Sometimes the higher ups prefer to make the peons do the hard work, don’t they?
Yes, and then they claim all the credit.
Yes, and then they claim all the credit.
Isn’t that the way it always goes?
It most certainly has to be God, don’t over think it! No one else is capable of a Buddy Christ on your front porch, let get real.
At this point they’ll take help wherever they can get it. My son used that Buddy Christ photo for a project, because he thought it was funny. His teacher did not and he received detention…..and they wonder why the numbers are low.
What was the basis for detention? He should’ve written to Kevin Smith, and I bet the guy would’ve gone to his school to stand up for him…
His fossilized teacher thought it was disrespectful. Some minds have no chance of being open, no matter what the cause. My son made the decision to attend a Catholic High School, with no previous catholic education. Personally, I feel the teacher thought he was mocking the faith, instead of recognizing that was his was of connecting.
I spent 12 years in Catholic school, so I know how things can be…
Of course churches take attendance… I went just to make sure I was not the cause of any more scary Michael visits (and because I had to sing).
Thank you. Hope you saved your ticket stub for the raffle…
Used it for the free bingo card…
Romans 8:28—-Assuming you ARE the called according to His purpose. In the Old Testament God used nonbelievers to help the believers get in line….so why not this blog…which I’m re-blogging. LOVE THAT PICTURE!!!!
Thanks for the re-blog. Glad you enjoyed it.
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
Irreverent…perhaps…but the picture is a riot!—Jonathan