Just a quick update…if you follow this blog, you know that the Archangel Michael supposedly paid me a visit last week because God wanted more people to go to Church. For some reason, the big guy thought that if I wrote about it in my blog, attendance would increase. Here’s the post if you haven’t read it already (God’s pissed).
I’m still not sure if it really happened, or if it was all just a dream, but there was just a knock on my front door. When I open it, I discovered a Buddy Christ statue on the porch (see the photo above). There was also a note which read: “Preliminary numbers are in. Attendance up 10%. Keep up the God work. M”.
I chuckled at the play on words, and plan to keep the statue since it’s from the movie Dogma, and I’m a huge Kevin Smith fan. I assume the items were left by a friend looking to bust my chops. I mean, that is what happened, right?
Do they even take attendance at Church? How would anyone know if the numbers are up and be able to calculate them so quickly? I’m totally over thinking this, right?
Modern Philosophers, help me out here. This is all just a joke, right? God isn’t really depending on my blog to get people to go to Church, is he? He didn’t have my blog Freshly Pressed just so more people would read it and see that article, did he? If more people in Maine went to Church today, it’s probably because they were praying for the Patriots to win tonight and go to the Super Bowl, right???
I’m very confused. I’m just going to watch the football game and hope that the only angel who stops by for the rest of the week is the fallen one with the horns and pitchfork, who acts like he lives here…