SuperBowl, A New Orleans Bowling Alley, Can't Figure Out Why Its Ad Campaign Isn't Bringing In More Business

Bobby Joe Devereaux had a dream: he was going to become a professional bowler and make millions doing the one thing he loved.

When that dream didn’t pan out, he had a second dream: to own the greatest bowling alley New Orleans has ever seen.

So when Bobby Joe’s Mama passed away last year, he used the money she left him in her will to make his second dream a reality.  He opened SuperBowl and put right up on the neon sign: The Best Dang Bowling Alley New Orleans Done Ever Did See!

To honor his late Mama, Bobby Joe decided to hold a weekend long blowout party to celebrate her birthday, which happens to be today, February 3rd.

“I figured I’d call it SuperBowl Weekend and throw one crazy shindig to not only honor my Mama, who never stopped believing in me and made this all possible, but to also bring in some new business and let the people of New Orleans know about this shining jewel of a bowling alley they got right here in the greatest city in the world!” Billy Joe explained to me quite excitedly as he gave me a tour of the alley, which was eerily quiet on what was supposed to be its busiest weekend of the year.  “It was all building up to SuperBowl Sunday, Mama’s birthday.  We’re offering free shoe rentals, half price games, dollar beers, and all the wings you can eat for only $5.  But there ain’t no people here, and I just don’t get it.”

I felt horrible for Bobby Joe because it was clear how much his Mama meant to him, and he took the lack of business to mean that he had failed her.  I slid on the only pair of size 14 bowling shoes he had in the place, and offered to bowl a few frames with the distraught man as we continued the interview.

“I paid for ads on TV and radio,” he explained, “and I really thought it was working.  Everywhere I went, I heard people talking about SuperBowl Weekend in New Orleans and how great SuperBowl Sunday was going to be.  Heck, I was pumped because SuperBowl Sunday stuff was turning up in places that I hadn’t remembered paying for ads.  I just figured it was a New Orleans thing.  People heard about the big weekend and were spreading the word to help a local boy make good.”

We bowled in silence for a moment, and my host very politely gave me a few tips on how to stop throwing gutter balls, one of which was “Don’t wear a toga when you bowl.”

“I truly don’t understand why this place has been empty all weekend,” Booby Joe finally continued after bowling yet another strike.  “There’s been this huge increase in the number of tourists in town, even though it ain’t yet Mardi Gras, and all of them are talking about going to the SuperBowl.  I even approached a few and offered to give them directions, but they assured me they knew how to get here.  But they ain’t never showed.  I just don’t know what happened.”

I managed to knock down four pins on my next roll, but I didn’t have the heart to explain to Bobby Joe why his SuperBowl Weekend dreams were not living up to his expectations. Instead, I encouraged him to reschedule the celebration for another weekend when the weather was warmer, and people were more inclined to go out in search of fun.

Bobby Joe thanked me for listening, comped me on my frames and shoe rental, and promised that any time one of my readers was in town, all they had to do was mention the term “Modern Philosopher” and he’d let them bowl for free.  Pretty sweet, right?

What do you think, Modern Philosophers?  Are you going to take Bobby Joe up on his offer and plan a SuperBowl Weekend in New Orleans?  Do you think I should’ve come clean with him and pointed out why his bowling alley was empty?  Or are you like me in that you think it’s better to allow someone to hold on to a dream and not feel totally stupid?

I look forward to reading your Deep Thoughts on this.  Since I’m currently down in New Orleans, I think I might look into this big football game I hear everyone talking about…

 

 

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