Witches Wicked Busy As Mainers Plan For Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching and the sound you hear is that of Maine’s Witches cackling all the way to the bank.  Few people realize that after Halloween, the days leading up to February 14th are the busiest (and most lucrative) of the year for Witches.

Because most people aren’t good at expressing themselves, taking the time to figure out what to buy for their sweethearts, or finding the courage to take the next big step in a relationship, they’ve come to rely on their friendly neighborhood broom riders to help them with affairs of the heart on Cupid’s special day.

I stopped in at Three Toads and a Wicked Lady, Bangor’s most popular Witch bar, to check in on some of my friends and find out what’s bubbling around the cauldron.

“It’s always the same, Austin,” Jizella explained as she sipped her brew.  “The Muggles have no idea how to handle love, and rather than trying to figure it out, they run to us and ask us to ‘find’ it for them.  I must sell three hundred love potions the first two weeks of February.  That’s more than enough to pay for the heating oil to keep my gingerbread house heated for the winter. “

“It’s not just the love potions they want, though,” chimed in Alowishus (my spell check really does not like Witch names!) from the next table.  “Most of your kind like to play it all happy and rosy, but there are a bunch of nasty ones out there.  You wouldn’t believe the requests I get for curses this time of year!  And people are willing to pay through the teeth for them.  They want me to curse the person their crush is with.  They want me to curse a marriage.  They want ugliness curses.  Baldness curses.  Heck, I’ve had three requests just this week for a curse that would make a certain male body part shrivel up or flat out fall off the body.  Love really is a battlefield!”

All the Witches in the place cackled in delight at that line.  So do my enchanting friends enjoy doing this sort of thing?  “Not exactly,” admitted Rhozalyta.  “But we’ve got to make a living, and if this is what people want, we might as well provide it for them.”

“It’s better to keep the magic in the hands of the professionals,” adds Morllyn.

So what about you, Modern Philosophers?  Would you ever or have you ever turned to a Witch for help with love?  Would you be okay entering into a relationship that you knew started because you cursed someone else and made your move?  How much would you be willing to pay for a top of the line Love Potion?

I definitely need to hear your comments on this because there is no way The Hopeless Romantic in me would ever think about doing anything wicked for love.  I’d also never leave my Valentine’s Day shopping until the last minute.  I can assure you that The Girl Who Is My Valentine has a multitude of presents waiting for her, and I cannot wait to give them to her.

If you’re not doing anything tonight, come on down and join me for a brew at Three Toads and a Wicked Lady.  First round is on me…

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