Some interesting news from the World of Numbers…8 aka Eight, today appeared before the Number Line and officially petitioned for a new look.
While it is a highly unusual move, seeing as how numbers are iconic figures that have been around for centuries, 8 is completely within its rights to make the request. Few of you probably recall that 6 aka Six used to be much fatter until requesting a slim down in 1973. Back in the 1890s, 7 aka Seven successfully petitioned to have the little line removed from its midsection.
This Modern Philosopher got 8′s number and made a call to ask a few questions. Why the sudden interest in changing its appearance? “I’m tired of everyone saying I look like a snowman,” 8 replied in a voice that I was totally not expecting (it was very high and sounded like that of a young child…I guess I was expecting a fat old man voice!). “In the aftermath of Blizzard Nemo, I don’t want to be associated with snowmen or anything snow related. It’s bad enough that I’m already so far down the line when it comes to popularity. The last thing I need is to fall behind some of the double digits in the polls. That would be incredibly embarrassing.”
I had no idea that polling was done to determine number popularity. “Have you ever heard the term ‘We’re number 1?’ or ‘Two for one special?’ Those are really positive and popular. What do I get? ‘Eight is enough’, which makes it sound like I’m annoying and not at all desirous. I want a new image. I want to be associated with fun, winning, and a great deal at the store!”
I had no idea that numbers had to deal with that sort of thing. Silly me thought they were all created equal. So who would 8 go to for a new look? “I’d really like to see Dr. Huit, who is a renowned numerologist practicing in France. We’ve already had some preliminary conversations, and everything he’s said has made me feel extremely positive. This isn’t imaginary…he’d make me feel like a real number again, not just a stand in for a person made of snow.”
You learn something new every day in this business, Modern Philosophers. So what do you think? Would it be weird for the number 8 to suddenly look completely different? Do you think that would confuse you or mess with your math skills? Are there any other numbers that you think need a makeover?
Let me know what you think. I’m counting down the minutes until I hear from you…
Only you would see an 8 and link it to a blizzard….you definitely have a one-of-a-kind kink to your personality. I bet you are a nut in person….
When you’re around this much snow, you start to see things. Plus, the snow starts to talk to you and gives you ideas for your blog. I don’t know if I’d be considered a nut, but I did work at a mental hospital for 5 years, so I might’ve picked up a few things…
Very funny, hypothermia does addle ones’ brain…..Maybe that’s why I like you, Im a walking encyclopedia of psychosis
I am going to go with 1 as it is the loneliest number perhaps the number could use a little weight being so skinny and all. A protein shake and a few days a week at the gym perhaps. It may even get a date with 8 and become 18? Cute post my friend
Well, they’d better be at least 18 before they date…just in case things get serious.
I’m glad you liked it…numbers have feelings, too. 
So true I hadn’t even considered them getting serious, we definitely don’t want to encourage the underage thing!
I suppose there are an infinite amount of numbers simply because numbers are often “getting serious” without using protection…
Nine seems a little top heavy.
I don’t want to spread rumors, but my source on the Number Line tell me that 9 actually requested an “enhancement” back in the late 80s. So, your keen eye is probably on to something…
All 8 really needs is to cut back on the carbs and do some hot yoga. Trim him right down!
You know not everyone has the willpower…
8 sideways is infinity – that’s what I think of when I see Eight.
8 sideways means 8 is drunk!
Dr. Huit does good work. I’ve heard Dr. Octo can get a little scalpel-happy and eight would end up looking a bit like infinity.
I was hoping someone would get the French joke.
Je m’appelle Cahier.
Bon! Merci…
Two, Four, Six, Eight,
Who do we appreciate?
Is this a riddle?
Changing 8′s appearance would definitely mess with my math skills. I’m not real big on change in some areas. I still haven’t accepted Pluto as a non-planet. I hope poor * can learn to appreciate it’s natural shape. What came first, afterall, the 8 or the snowman? Tell the snowman to change his look!
I meant 8, not *. I don’t think that helped. Now 8 is going to have a snowflake complex as well. :/
I think the snowman came first. The Cavemen built them to trick the dinosaurs…
I always thought the number 1 looked a little anorexic.
Well, someone should bake that number a pie then!
I really think it is wrong that four is half of eight when it is obvious that 3 is half of 8. Actually it might even be a bit more than half. 2 and 5 have got something going on as well and I’ve always been a little suspicious of 6 and 9: logically three should be 6 on its back. Shit, now I look weird.
I’m lost. Let me get my abacus…
This delightful and very well-written whimsey made my day. I commend you on your originality and lateral thinking.
Thanks. Numbers are my friends. They tell me all their stories…
Wow! I never knew 8 felt so unloved. 8 has always been my favorite number. You can fancy with 8, giving him that extra squiggle at the end just for fun. However, I completely understand not wanting to look like a snowman….it’s never a good look outside of the snow people community. Great post…no doubt you’re taking advantage of your surroundings after Nemo.
You should write 8 some fan mail and let it know about your love. The email is: 8isgr8t@numberline.org.
“I love you just the way you are…” Don’t go changin, 8, just to please me..
I’m sure 8 is blushing now…
Well I’m pretty sure that 0 is the real loser in the whole bunch. Worthless, empty headed, shaped like an egg…I mean, I’m surprised that 8 didn’t start picking on 0 years ago, just to make himself feel better.
There might be a reason there’s so much space between 0 and 8 on the number line. It’s to keep them from going after each other…
To me, an 8 reminds me of a figure 8 in ice skating. I graceful figure 8. So next time you hear 8 complaining you might offer another perspective.
I can bring that up in conversation for sure. Great point!
I don’t think this issue is going to make the supreme court’s agenda!
Why would 8 trust those 9 anyway???
Hahaa, that’s not a bad take, but you missed the opportunity to talk about 4. what about the open topped 4? what happened there? And the hard or soft topped 3?
I just report the news. 8 is the one who petitioned for the facelift, not 3 or 4!