Inviting The President To Maine

Maine, Donald Trump, summer vacation, politics, humor, Modern PhilosopherDear President Trump,

I’ve noticed that work has been a bit stressful for you lately, and I wanted to suggest that a vacation in Maine might be exactly what you need.

I know you like to go to your ritzy resort in Florida when you want to get away from the grind of being the Leader of the Free World, but that doesn’t seem to be working.

A change of scenery is definitely in order, and something tells me you’d be incredibly comfortable in Maine.  I can’t quite put my finger on why, but it’s just a gut feeling.

Did you know that Maine is also known as Vacationland?  It’s true.  They put it right on the license plates, so you can’t write than one off as fake news.

Just a little humor to try to put you at ease, sir.

Maine, Donald Trump, summer vacation, politics, humor, Modern PhilosopherSummer is the perfect time to visit.  It’s the only season when it doesn’t snow in Maine, and the natives spend the entire three months celebrating that fact.  So why not get in on the fun while everyone up here is in such a festive mood?

Do you like lobster?  If so, Maine is known for it.  I’m pretty sure it’s the official state bird, and if it’s not, you certainly have the power to make that happen.

Maine lobsters are so large that their claws are bigger than your hands.  And I’m not just saying that because of your infamously tiny hands.  The lobsters are just huge.

I’m sure you’ll feel right at home as a guest of Governor LePage.  Like you, he is very outspoken, knows exactly what he wants even if it’s not in the best interest of the people he represents, and he’s often in the news for saying outrageous things.

Maine, Donald Trump, summer vacation, politics, humor, Modern Philosopher, Paul LePageNow that I think about it, you two are like peas in a pod.  Thankfully, he hasn’t discovered Twitter yet.  If you do come to visit, Mr. President, you must promise me that you will not introduce Governor LePage to that aspect of social media.

Maybe you can do something good for Maine during your visit, and offer the Governor a position in your administration.  That way, you’ll always have a little piece of the state with you, and Mainers will finally have some peace and quiet.

While you’re here, you can talk to Stephen King about how the dome from his bestselling novel, Under The Dome, might be used as an alternate to your border wall idea.  I’m sure Maine’s Master of Horror would love some one on one time with the man many think is the most evil person in the country because he wants to take healthcare away from the poor and those who need it most.

I sense another bestseller in Uncle Stevie’s future!

Maine, Donald Trump, summer vacation, politics, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhen you are done rubbing shoulders with Maine celebrities, you can enjoy some quiet time on one of our beautiful beaches.  Since you say global warming isn’t a thing, you should make sure to appreciate our sandy shores on one of the few days of the year they aren’t covered in snow and ice.

If you ever get homesick while you’re in Maine, I have a friend from Ukraine who speaks fluent Russian.  She can join you for a chat anytime so you feel like you are back home having a clandestine meeting with a member of the Russian government.

Maine, Donald Trump, summer vacation, politics, humor, Modern PhilosopherHopefully, you’ll find some time in your busy schedule to visit The House on the Hill to do an interview for this blog.  I know I’ve criticized and mocked you from pretty much the moment you announced your candidacy, so this will be the perfect opportunity to make sure the views on the blog are fair and balanced.

I bet you’ll love my home so much that you’ll want to create a franchise of Trump Houses on the Hill.  That’s fine with me as long as I get my cut, and am not named in any lawsuits when the business goes bankrupt.

Maine, Donald Trump, summer vacation, politics, humor, Modern PhilosopherSo what do you think, Mr. President?  Will you come to Maine for your Summer vacation?

Leave the woes of the White House behind (please leave Steve Bannon behind, too, as there are many children in Maine and we don’t want them to have nightmares!) for a couple of weeks, and spend some time in a part of America that doesn’t need to be made great again because it’s never stopped being great?

I look forward to seeing you.  In the meantime, do you think I could get an autographed box of Trump Steaks?  It is grilling season in Maine after all.

Very truly yours,

The Modern Philosopher

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Being Better At Life

life, philosophy, self-improvement, humor, Modern PhilosopherI was walking down the hall today, Modern Philosophers, minding my own business and staying out of trouble, when a coworker stopped me.

“There’s something different about you, Austin,” she informed me.

The coworker who was with her, immediately jumped in and said that I had lost a lot of weight.  She was right, but I think that’s really just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what’s different about me.

Of course, to the casual observer, it would be the most obvious difference.  When you look at me now, you see a guy who is thirty pounds lighter, wears clothes that fit him much better, and doesn’t get winded if he has to talk and walk at the same time.

However, there’s so much more going on beneath that thinner, handsomer surface.

I was giving this some Deep Thought during one of my walks today, since fat burning mode and philosophical mode seem to be one and the same for me lately.

The recurring thought that stuck with me as I wandered around in pursuit of a healthier version of me was…

I’m being better at life.

What exactly does that mean?  It might be hard to explain, Modern Philosophers, but it makes perfect sense to me.

Just yesterday, a few coworkers were razzing me about how they didn’t want to be FitBit friends with me anymore because I pile up way too many steps every day, and it makes them feel like underachievers.

I did not apologize for being better at life.

I’m pushing myself to test my limits so I can be healthier, lose weight, and be a better version of me.

They should be finding a higher gear to see if they can keep up with me.  That’s how you get to be better at life!

And it’s not just about fitness.  I feel like I’ve taken a whole new approach to life.  I have a tendency to react to life, allow it to bully me into submission, and just try to make the most of whatever hand it deals me.

Now I’m looking to be proactive.

I start my day with a run so my self-confidence skyrockets, and I get to work feeling great about myself.  I’m no longer just hoping to survive until 5:00.  I’m plotting how to get the most out of my time at work.  I want to improve my all around day, rather than just thinking of it as eight hours of punching the clock.

Lloyd Dobler, life, philosophy, self-improvement, humor, Modern PhilosopherTo quote Lloyd Dobler, I’m looking for a dare to be great situation.

I recently had the epiphany that I’ve been  approaching life in the same way that I approach a run.

I’ve always started out super slow, not wanting to take any chances and risk running out of energy before I get safely back to The House on the Hill.  Then my FitBit taught me that I could improve my resting heart rate by pushing myself harder and increasing the intensity of my workouts.

So now when I run, I’m constantly increasing my pace.  I set out faster, and I don’t just coast anymore.  I rarely stop to walk in the middle of a run.  I’m constantly surprising myself at how far I can go and how much faster I can complete a run.

Over the last three weeks, my resting heart rate has dipped from 60 to 54 bpm.

I’m being better at life.

I’m applying this same philosophy to my day.  I get up early and push myself with a run, sit ups, and weightlifting before work.

When I get to work, I don’t sink into into a mood of doom and gloom.  I’m positive, social, productive, and conquering my day rather than allowing it to bully me.

When I get home, I make time for me.  I get in a walk after dinner, but that’s because I want to burn calories and push myself to see how many steps I can collect.  I’m challenging myself to burn 5,000 calories a day and get at least 20,000 steps.  I want to step on the scale at the end of the week and see that I’ve lost 3 lbs.

But I also set aside time to write, read out on the porch, and turn off my brain long enough to enjoy some of the shows clustered on my DVR.

I might not have anything concrete to show for it yet, but this new approach has led to my making progress in my other two major goals: being able to support myself full time as a writer and being in a new relationship.

The cool thing about this philosophy is that it’s easy to implement.  All you’ve got to do is up your game and take a more kick ass approach to life.  You don’t have to become a different person.  Just be a better version of yourself.

life, philosophy, self-improvement, humor, Modern PhilosopherSince I’ve adopted this approach, I’m accomplishing more on a daily basis than I have in a very long time.

I feel like I can do anything.

I can’t wait to see what I can do tomorrow, and how that affects the bigger picture.

I’m being better at life.

My boy Lloyd Dobler would be proud.

Posted in Humor, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Welcome, Summer!

Summer, Summer Solstice, first day of Summer, humor, life, Modern PhilosopherHappy First Day of Summer, Modern Philosophers!

Not only does that mean today is the longest day of the year, but it also mercifully means that for the next three months, all snow is banned from Maine!

I’m not quite sure how it works, but I think that if it even tries to snow, enormous domes paid for by Stephen King, drop out of the blue to protect the entire state from the annoying white stuff.

To celebrate the Summer Solstice, I conducted my usual ritual of burning my snow shovel on the front lawn.

Don’t worry, Modern Philosophers, that fire did not go to waste.  I had the interns roast marshmallows and make s’mores, which I then shared with my neighbors.

We know how to welcome Summer properly here at The House on the Hill.

I’m happy to report that, unlike the Winter Solstice, today was a wonderful day.  It began with a kick ass run, which started Summer perfectly.  I know that if I continue with all this running, I will have my bikini body ready just in time for the Fourth of July.

Summer, Summer Solstice, first day of Summer, humor, life, Modern PhilosopherOf course, with the change of seasons, Summer Lovin’ is now in the air.

Tell me more, tell me more…

Okay, I’ll expand on that, but only because you sang to me, Modern Philosophers.

Remember how in Saturday’s post I promised I was going to try to be more proactive in getting into a new relationship?  Well, I made sure to strike up a conversation with my crush.  I figured the first day of Summer was the perfect time for it, and we had a nice chat and I made her smile.

Tell me more, tell me more…

You’re getting a little nosy, but I do have to fill more space, so I might as well share.  Working up the courage to ask someone out after not having dated in almost a year is still a definite challenge, but today’s baby steps were an encouraging start.

Plus, I’ve made sure to set my sights strictly on women who live in this country.

See?  I can poke fun at my failures.

That’s progress.

At lunch, I went for my usual walk, totally looking to take advantage of the Summer weather.  However, the sun decided to take a nap, which allowed those pesky storm clouds to quickly move in.

I was getting drenched, so I ran back inside to borrow an umbrella from the girl who wears my old fitness tracker.  I tried to get her to join me, but she is as intelligent as she is attractive (and she is very attractive!), and she chose not to walk out in the rain and wind like some sort of raving lunatic.

Or maybe she chose not to walk out in the rain with a raving lunatic…

One of these days, though.  I’d definitely enjoy her company.

That’s enough about my romantic prospects for now.  I don’t care how many songs from Grease you sing to me!

There is definitely a change in the air.  I can feel it and I’m trying my hardest to embrace it with my long monkey boy arms, which are getting more muscular from all the weight training I’ve been doing along with my runs.

Summer, Summer Solstice, first day of Summer, humor, life, Modern PhilosopherI’ve searched my feelings, and I believe that the Force will be strong with me this Summer, despite my choice of wardrobe for the evening.

When I posted this selfie on Facebook tonight, I added the caption: Not even Lord Vader is strong enough to prevent the First Day of Summer from revealing the true power of the Light/Sunny side of the Force!

Yes, I am a corny Star Wars Geek and Hopeless Romantic, but I see those as good things.  It’s Summer after all, and everyone knows that great things happen for those who choose to embrace the season!

I burn my snow shovel on the front lawn and make s’mores.  What do you do to celebrate the First Day of Summer?

Posted in Dating, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Who’s Your Padre?

Father's Day, Dad, The Devil, short story, Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, humor, Modern Philosopher“I know this is a weird question, but who’s your Daddy?” I asked my guest with the slightest grin on my face.  “After all, it is Father’s Day.”

The Devil looked up from the Sunday paper and sighed.  As always, he was stylishly dressed in an impeccably tailored suit, and had his hair slicked back from his ridiculously handsome face.

“Angels don’t have fathers,” Lucifer answered curtly.  “I suppose my former employer would want me to say that He was my father since He created me and the rest of those halo polishing, harp playing sycophants who hang out with Him in Heaven, but I’d never say that.”

“Sounds like someone has serious Daddy issues,” I countered with a chuckle.

The Prince of Darkness glared at me angrily, and for a moment I thought I was going to soil myself, but then he flashed a devilish grin.

“Young ladies with Daddy issues make up a large percentage of my clientele, so that comment is ironically amusing,” he conceded.  “Maybe it also explains why I turned out to be so damn evil.

Satan laughed uproariously, which is something he rarely did, so the sound of it was both unexpected and disturbing.  I’m sure I will have nightmares about that for weeks.

“So I guess Father’s Day is as blah for you as it is for me,” I commented as I handed him a bottle of Snapple from the cooler and then grabbed one for myself.

“At least your father didn’t cast you of of Heaven and damn you to Hell for all eternity,” The Devil pointed out and then took a long sip of iced tea.  “I did have a dream father figure, though.  Do you remember that show Fantasy Island?  I was convinced that Mr. Roarke would have been my perfect Dad.”

I almost spit out my Snapple at his revelation.

Father's Day, Dad, The Devil, short story, Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, humor, Modern Philosopher“Ricardo Montalban was your ideal father?” I asked in confusion once I had swallowed my beverage.

“Not the actor, but the character,” Lucifer answered  defensively.  “He was this handsome, charming, sharp dressed man, who offered people anything their little hearts desired.  Sound like anyone you know?”

Once I gave that a moment to sink in, I realized that he had a point.

“That does sound like a certain someone who visits me every Sunday,” I had to admit.

The Prince of Darkness’ eyes lit up as he continued, “I convinced myself that Mr. Roarke was my father and I was simply carrying on the family business.  Just on a much grander, permanent scale.  And with the beautiful tropical island replaced by the horrors of Hell.”

“Sounds a little too close to home now that you’re saying it aloud,” I observed.  “Did you ever think they were stealing your story and turning it into a primetime hit?”

“It crossed my mind,” Satan agreed.  “I actually spent some time on the set, posing as a suit from the network’s legal department, saying I was investigating a claim that the producers had stolen the idea.  I fit right in looking like this.”

I nodded and sipped my Snapple because I could totally see The Devil as a high priced entertainment attorney.

“So what happened?” I asked, genuinely wanting to know the answer.

Father's Day, Dad, The Devil, short story, Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, humor, Modern Philosopher“I ended up hanging out with Ricardo a few nights after shooting, and then for one very long weekend,” Lucifer replied nostalgically with a glimmer in his eye.  “He might have been Mr. Roarke on set, but when we were out partying, he was more like Khan.  The ladies melted for him.  It was a wild and crazy time.  Best father/son bonding ever!”

“I take it you didn’t sue,” I guessed.

“He taught me things that I still use to this day to talk a person out of her soul,” The Prince of Darkness shared with a huge smile.  “Of course, Ricardo was using those methods to talk her out of her clothes and into his bed, but I’ve adapted them for my use.  How could I ever sue a father for teaching his son the family business?”

“Sounds like a Happy Father’s Day is in order then,” I decided.  “To both our Dads, real and imagined.  May they rest in peace and know they are forever loved.”

“I’ll drink to that!” Satan exclaimed and then downed the rest of his Snapple.

I think I saw him wipe away a tear, but I pretended not to notice…

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

It Doesn’t Hurt To Just Try

motivation, inspiration, self-confidence, philosophy, running, dating, humor, Modern PhilosopherMuch like a twelve year old girl, I usually take a selfie after my morning run, Modern Philosophers, and post it on Facebook.  There are many reasons for this:

  1. The photo offers proof of life, and lets my friends know I survived my run.
  2. I like to look back at the photos to track the progress of my body as it slowly shrivels down to something other than disgustingly out of shape.
  3. I like to use the photos in my blog posts.
  4. It holds me accountable.  If the photos stop, my friends get on me and ask if I’ve fallen back into bad habits and given up on running.
  5. The positive feedback emboldens me to keep kicking ass.

After this morning’s run, I was either incredibly lightheaded, or my inner Modern Philosopher kicked Runner Boy aside and decided to take control.

I say this because I posted the following photo with a status update that was oddly philosophical after sweating like a beast for 5.25 miles…

motivation, inspiration, self-confidence, philosophy, running, dating, humor, Modern PhilosopherJust two months ago, I would’ve thought that running five miles was impossible.  This morning, though, my thought was “I could’ve run that five miles faster”.  It’s weird how quickly things can change if you’re just willing to try.

Like I said, it was not my usual post-run, sweaty selfie status update.  However, it got the Deep Thoughts flowing, and I decided to expand upon the idea for this blog post.

How difficult was it for me to transform myself from a severely out of shape and overweight couch potato and into a less out of shape, obsessive collector of steps, who can run five miles without the need of medical assistance?

It was really pretty easy, Modern Philosophers.  All I had to do was try, and I was very quickly able to accomplish something that I thought was impossible.

motivation, inspiration, self-confidence, philosophy, running, dating, humor, Modern PhilosopherI mean, I knew I had the ability to run five miles as I’d done it many times previously, but at that weight and the shape I was in, repeating the feat seemed as improbable as my waking up to discover that President Trump had won the Nobel Peace Prize.

If I hadn’t laced up my running shoes and tried it, I’d still think it to be impossible.

Which got me to thinking even more: What else would I really like to do, but just seems too difficult or even impossible for me to accomplish?

I’d like to be able to support myself full time as a writer.

I want to meet someone special and be in a relationship again.

I want to be happier and less reclusive.

Okay.  I’m going to follow my own advice and just try it.  I’m going to stop dragging my feet on the rewrite of my new screenplay.  I can’t sell it if I never finish it and make it available, right?  I’m also going to work on finding new avenues for getting my writing out to the sort of people who can hire me or offer me funding for my screenplays.

I’m going to work up the courage to ask out someone I have a crush on, but have lacked the self-confidence to approach about a date.  The worst that can happen is she says no, and at least I know she’s not interested.  And if she says no, I will join a dating site, or be more pro-active in trying to meet someone else.

I will stop stressing the little things and make an effort to go out more and be social.

motivation, inspiration, self-confidence, philosophy, running, dating, humor, Modern PhilosopherHey, I won’t know if it works unless I try, right?  Fear of failure and rejection holds way too much power over me.  I need to not let that bother me so much.

And if I’m going to try this, I want you to give it a shot, too, Modern Philosophers.  There’s strength and confidence in numbers.  So just try.

You see that photo on the left?  I didn’t really think I could cook all those burgers with my mind, and I was afraid to try and fail, but you know what?  I just tried, and now no one will ever forget our company’s first Jedi Barbecue.

As Bruce sings in Thunder Road: “Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night.”  Even if you don’t succeed, you can hold your head high and say that at least you tried…

Posted in Dating, Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

How To Feed 60 People In The Rain

barbecue, food, work humor, boosting morale, humor, Modern PhilosopherAfter a long, hot, sweaty week, Mother Nature decided to soak Maine today, Modern Philosophers.

As luck would have it, this rainy Friday was the day we’d set aside for an office barbecue.

The second I arrived at work, I was bombarded with questions as to whether the grilling would proceed as scheduled.  The Facilities Department had even called and emailed me to see if I still needed the special grill I’d requested for today.

What the hell, people?

If we’ve planned a barbecue, we’re having a barbecue!  Because, you know, nothing does wonders for office morale like canceling the feeding frenzy everyone’s been looking forward to all week simply because the chefs are afraid to get wet.

I ain’t no witch.  The rain ain’t gonna melt me!

I just need a hat and a jacket, and I’ll be fine.  As long as the flames are high and the food is edible, the raindrops aren’t going to be a problem.

So how do you feed 60 people in the rain?

barbecue, food, work humor, boosting morale, humor, Modern Philosopher, fitnessGo for a run as a preemptive strike.  The very first thing I did to prepare for the barbecue was to get up early to run three miles.

I was going to fuel my inner fire today with hot dogs and hamburgers, so I needed to burn a ton of calories as a preemptive strike against the caloric invasion.

Friday is normally my day off from running, but I’m willing to make an exception to any rule if red hot dogs and bacon cheeseburgers are involved!

Of course, I haven’t literally run my fat ass off for the past eleven weeks to blow it all today, so I promised myself to approach the feeding frenzy with self-control.

Once I set my mind to something, it usually gets done.

barbecue, food, work humor, boosting morale, humor, Modern PhilosopherRequest the special grill that is exponentially better than the rickety one you usually use.  We have a grill on site, but it is old, temperamental, and works at a very slow pace.  No, I’m not talking about me…I’m talking about the grill.

But if one puts in a special request for the Bad Boy 2000 (pictured above), life in front of the flames is a hell of a lot easier (oh, the witty word play!).  This Monster of the Grillway can cook two dozen burgers at once, and hot dogs are ready in only a matter of minutes.

Don’t worry, we didn’t ignore the other grill.  We used it to cook the veggie burgers in a quarantine situation so they wouldn’t infect the meats!

Always thinking…

barbecue, food, work humor, boosting morale, humor, Modern PhilosopherEnlist the aid of a great grill team.  My teammates, who can only be identified via their arms since they forget to sign the waivers allowing me to use their names on the blog, were awesome.

Hey, look…the one on the right is wearing my old fitness tracker.  How interesting.

Anyhow, with the help of a top notch team of burger flippers and flame tamers, feeding sixty people in the rain is a cinch.

Grilling as a trio really was perfect.  We constantly had new meats being added to the grill, burgers were moved and flipped before anything burned, and when the food was ready, it was promptly removed and brought inside to the starving masses.

We worked like a well oiled machine that wiped away a lot of tears.  Because where there’s barbecue fire, there’s always smoke that gets in your eyes.

barbecue, food, work humor, boosting morale, humor, Modern PhilosopherStarve your coworkers for a week.  If you deny your coworkers food all week, it makes them quiet hungry and willing to eat whatever you put in front of them.

So even if we were to totally screw up the burgers and dogs, they’d be so grateful for anything to eat that there would be absolutely no complaints.

Of course, the downside to this strategy is that ravenous coworkers might corner a weak coworker in a dark hallway and ponder the wonders of cannibalism.

Luckily, it did not come down to that!

I did a quick headcount at the end of the work day, and everyone was present and accounted for.  Plus, I did not find any unidentified bones anywhere in the office.

That was a major relief!

barbecue, food, work humor, boosting morale, humor, Modern PhilosopherWear a hat and just keep smiling.  The hat will protect you from the rain, which is important because a soggy grill master will make poor decisions and ruin the meats everyone has been craving all week.

The smile is important because a work barbecue is all about raising morale, making your coworkers feel appreciated, and taking a little of the grind out of a long work week.

Smiling is infectious, so if the person manning the grill is smiling, that positive attitude will seep into whatever is on the grill, and then infect the rest of the staff when they eat.  So be Patient X of the Smile Outbreak!

One last thing to remember: stuff your face when you finally get to go inside and join the others.  You worked hard to feed the masses, so you deserve a big, yummy lunch of your own.  Don’t be afraid to feed your inner tapeworm.

Here’s what my plate looked like an hour later when I finally had a second to sit down to sample my cooking…

barbecue, food, work humor, boosting morale, humor, Modern PhilosopherThe kinda smiley face in ketchup on the burger bun was completely unintentional, but I smiled when I noticed it.

I told you it was infectious!

I had a red hot dog, bacon cheeseburger, macaroni salad, and a big cup of Snapple.  It was damn delicious, Modern Philosophers.

And you know what made it all worthwhile?  The big smiles on the faces of my coworkers for the rest of the afternoon, along with all their gracious comments about my efforts on the grill.

I’m always happy to feed my coworkers, but it really warms my heart to see them all so happy.  Who doesn’t love and need a yummy morale boost like this?

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

I Need Fuel, Bring Me Meats!

barbecue, food, red meat, running, health, fitness, humor, Modern PhilosopherI’m quite impressed with something I did this morning, Modern Philosophers, and now you get to read all about it!

I was off running, as I’m prone to do nowadays since I’m on this health kick, and my inner Flash definitely took control of the wheel.  For the first time in the eleven weeks I’ve been running like a sweaty-toothed madman through the streets of my neighborhood, I finished a run with a pace of less than a 10:00 mile!

It was only 3.4 miles, but it was my fifth run in six days, so I’m calling it quite the accomplishment.  The really cool thing is that I did mile 3 in just 9:15.

Where did that come from?

The benefits of going for a run when I’m still half asleep are now beginning to reveal themselves, Modern Philosophers.

I’m really quite proud of myself.  My FitBit gives me little tips on how to improve my workouts and resting heart rate, so I thought I’d give some of them a shot.  I’ve been pushing myself harder on my runs, and even added an extra day where I run a short, flat loop with the sole purpose being to work on increasing my speed.

Today, that work paid off on my regular running route with all the hills.

Woo hoo for Austin!

This afternoon, I was talking to someone very important to me, and she congratulated me on my hard work and told me my weight loss was quite obvious.  Kind words from such a source is the kind of fuel I need to keep me going.

But tonight I’m thinking about a different kind of fuel.  I posted this photo on Facebook  when I got home from work…

barbecue, food, red meat, running, health, fitness, humor, Modern PhilosopherThe caption read: Screw the diet!  I’m eating all of it!

Yes, those were the actual contents of my shopping cart this evening.  No, I haven’t completely lost my mind, but I did try to convince my grocery store crush that this was going to be my dinner as we made small talk while she was ringing up my purchase.

She giggled, but did not seem to believe me.  I guess that’s a relief.

We’re actually having a barbecue at work tomorrow, so I stopped to buy enough red meat to feed sixty hungry people.  Right now, it’s all in my fridge, calling out to me, and explaining how it’s the perfect fuel for a body that’s been running like crazy for the past eleven weeks.

Because of this, I’ve spent the evening out walking.  Far away from the siren call of the hamburgers and red hot dogs.

barbecue, food, red meat, running, health, fitness, humor, Modern PhilosopherThat’s why I’m writing this post out on the porch even though a storm is brewing and it’s getting rather chilly.

The meats are beckoning.  My fuel tank is empty, but I need to avoid temptation.

After all, you don’t get to look this handsome and run sub-ten minute miles if you remain dependent on yummy meat fuels and devour the sixty burgers and sixty hot dogs that are raising a ruckus in the fridge.

I really kicked some ass out on the road today, and that’s fuel enough for me…

Follow me on my blog and on Pinterest, and maybe I’ll throw a burger on the grill for you, too…

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments