Am I A Failure For Never Having Kids?

Am I a failure for never having kids, family, passing on the family name, relationships, fatherhood, philosophy, life, Modern PhilosopherAs I was stressing out this morning about having to take Luna to the vet, Modern Philosophers, a strange Deep Thought formed in my mind…

I bet my friends with children would laugh at my getting all worked up about a sick cat.

That one fleeting thought set off an unexpected internal debate.  I’ve always wanted to be a father, but with each passing birthday and every day spent without being in a serious relationship, I get the sense that fatherhood is simply not in the cards for me.

Which led to a much more depressing Deep Thought…

Am I a failure for never having kids?

I remember learning in Catholic School that the whole point of the Sacrament of Marriage was so that we could procreate and continue the species.

Sex was not for pleasure, but rather to create life.  The Catholic Church didn’t believe in birth control because, I had to assume, the Pope wanted the world overrun with Catholics.

I always wanted to have a family.  I especially longed to have a son who I could name after my father.  This concept led to an ongoing battle with my ex-wife, who refused to have a child who would have to carry around the suffix of “The Third” after his name.

Dear old Dad, carrying on the family name, becoming a parent, family, fatherhood, life, Modern PhilosopherThe main reason I wanted to be a father was because my Dad was such an amazing man.  He was my hero, and I wanted to follow in his footsteps with my son as I carried on the family name.

One of the reasons we moved to Maine when we did was because we decided we wanted to raise our children here rather than in Southern California.

Unfortunately, we got divorced less than a year after the move.

I’ve always said I’m happy my ex-wife and I didn’t have kids because I’d never want them to be the product of divorce.  I guess I’m old school in the belief that children shouldn’t come from broken homes, and I’ve often wondered that if we would be have stayed together if we’d had kids.

Of course, when I find myself lamenting that I’ve never had children, I sometimes waver on my belief that I was better off not having any with my ex before our divorce.

When people ask me why we never had kids, I’m not quite sure of the answer.  We both said we wanted them, yet we never seriously talked about trying.  Maybe we both knew down deep that the marriage wasn’t going to last.

I always thought I would have plenty of time to have children after my divorce.

I suppose I just underestimated how difficult it would be to find someone new to love, share a life with, and raise a family.

raising a family, fatherhood, relationships, having children, life, philosophy, Modern PhilosopherI had pretty much given up on the idea of becoming a father until I met Melissa.  The Sweet Irish Girl was quite adamant about having a large family, and even though the idea of having three children at my age was rather intimidating at first, I quickly warmed to the idea.

Who wouldn’t want children who looked like her and had both a Brooklyn accent and an Irish brogue?  I’d almost forgotten about how important fatherhood was to me until we’d have these lengthy talks about what we would name our children, how I would look after Melissa during her pregnancies, and how we would raise our little ones.

The more we talked about it, the more I knew that I needed to be a father.  I’d make The Sweet Irish Girl laugh hysterically with tales about the wild stories I’d tell our children when they asked me how something worked or why something was a certain a way.

I wanted to teach my wee ones how to play baseball, ride a bike, write like their Daddy, and love the Star Wars movies.

Sure, even Melissa refused to name our son Austin, III, but by that point, I was willing to relent and use Austin as a middle name.  I’ll never forget the first time she told me that she knew I’d be an amazing Daddy because of how much I loved my kitties.

raising a family, fatherhood, failing to reproduce, killing the family name, philosophy, Modern PhilosopherAnd here I am again, feeling a little silly because I panicked about taking Luna to the vet, while my friends are dealing with sick children, overwhelming schedules, and the skyrocketing cost of raising a family.

Sometimes, I feel incredibly relieved that I don’t have all the stresses that my friends do.  Most of the time, though, I’m jealous that they have children and I do not.

Now I’m beginning to think that I’m a failure.  I didn’t procreate.  I didn’t put more Catholics on the planet.  I didn’t carry on the family name.  I’ll never get to teach my children about their incredible grandfather.  And there won’t be an Austin, III.

There are times when I really miss The Sweet Irish Girl, and while I loved her deeply, I think it has even more to do with the fact that she convinced me I was going to be a father.

Maybe that’s why I loved her so much.  She promised me the dream that I had all but abandoned long ago.

I know I would be an amazing father, and that’s what upsets me so much…

I took a little break before editing this post to watch last night’s Stephen Colbert show.  Jim Gaffigan was on talking about his five kids.  I totally feel like a failure now!

Follow me on Pinterest…

Posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Loathe Going To The Vet

cats, pets, animals, going to the vets, humor, Modern PhilosopherI love my kitties very much, Modern Philosophers.

Cali and Luna are adorable, affectionate, not at all demanding, and very rarely cause any trouble around The House on the Hill.

I don’t write about them much on the blog because they are both very shy, and prefer long, sunny naps to any time in the spotlight.

As much as I love my little monsters, I hate taking them to the vets even more.

I have nothing against veterinarians, mind you.  It’s just that a journey to the vet usually means something is wrong with one of my beloved pets, and I often leave those visits alone and with a very heavy heart.

Then there is the Banky problem.  My little black cat was such a terror at the vet’s that they marked his file with colorful warning stickers, and would try to convince my ex-wife and I to not bring him into the office.  They’d do everything in their power to solve the issue over the phone, free of charge because they were so damn scared of Banky.

It destroyed me to see my sweet little black cat so freaked out, and even though I’m in Maine now and the kitties see a different vet, I’m still traumatized by the mere thought of getting out the travel box and going for “that drive”.

Two summers ago, something was clearly wrong with Cali, so I took her to the vet.  She somehow had fleas, so they needed me to bring her back with Luna so they could both get shots and a thorough examination.

Cali, Luna, cats, pets, going to the vet, humor, Modern PhilosopherTwo cats.  One freaked out cat dad.  And then trying to administer the meds.  What a $!@#%^& nightmare.  I couldn’t get either cat to take the medicine, I convinced myself they would die because of my failure to give them the meds, and I drove myself to the brink of a nervous breakdown.

Melissa lived in Singapore at the time, and there was a twelve hour time difference, so I was on the phone with her during her morning commute, crying like a baby that I couldn’t take care of the cats.

Not my finest moment, but The Sweet Irish Girl found it endearing.  She would later confess that she could tell by the way I cared about Cali and Luna that I would make an excellent Daddy to our children.

Luna has been sneezing for the last few days.  I was hoping it was a cold that would pass without any problem.  This morning, however, I was awakened by her making a very strange sound.  I freaked (of course!) thinking that it could be a lung issue or that she couldn’t breathe.  The vet gave me an emergency appointment, and so it began.

The struggle to get Luna into her travel box was real.  As much as it was an annoying process, it did give me hope that her breathing was fine because she put up quite a fight to avoid the box.

Bruce Springsteen, cats, pets, going to the vet, humor, Modern PhilosopherShe was meowing sadly in the car, and something’s up with the radio, so I didn’t have tunes to soothe her.  Instead, I serenaded her with a couple of Springsteen classics, “The Ties That Bind” and “Thunder Road”.

Luckily, it was a short drive, so I didn’t have to dive any deeper into Bruce’s catalogue.

On a positive note, my singing either soothed Luna into calming down, or freaked her out so much that she was frightened into silence.

A little boy chatted me up in the waiting room, asking all kinds of questions about Luna, while also telling me about his cats and dogs.  I think it actually helped calm me because I am usually a nervous wreck in the waiting room, but I was pretty relaxed today.

We had to wait a while for the vet to come into the exam room, so I passed the time by telling Luna how much I loved her and how brave she was being.  At that point, I was super stressed thinking of all the possible things that could be wrong with her.  But I didn’t want her to sense my fear and neurosis.

Luna just sat there calmly like she was bored by the whole thing.  I sang “The Ties That Bind” to her again, and then played the video for her on YouTube.  She actually stared intently at the video, so I’ve clearly raised this kitty to have proper musical tastes.

The vet thinks Luna just has a cold, and that weird sound is her sniffling with a stuffy nose.  Her heart and lungs are fine.  She does have a bad tooth, which could be causing a sinus infection, so we’re going back on Thursday to have it extracted.

Oh joy!

Plus, I have to give Luna antibiotics all week, and now I can’t call Melissa crying when I freak out, so it could be a real challenge.

Luna, cats, kitties, pets, animals, going to the vet, humor, Modern PhilosopherPerhaps I can convince The Other Melissa, who is a Medical Assistant, to help.  MAs give patients meds all the time, so this should be a cinch for her.

At the moment, I am relieved and very thankful that it might only be a cold.  Luna is still sneezing, but at least she has today’s dose of antibiotics in her.

Thursday is going to be stressful, but that’s too far down the road to worry about right now.  For now, I just have to figure out how to give her the meds every day and hope she gets better.  I loathe going to the vets, but I’ll do anything to make sure my kitties are okay.

Follow me on my blog and on Pinterest.  Luna would really like that!

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Do You Feel Fine?

Donald Trump, Trump's Inauguration, philosophy, politics, humor, Modern PhilosopherDonald Trump was sworn in as the forty-fifth President of the United States today, Modern Philosophers.

I was at work, so I didn’t get to watch any of Trump’s Inauguration, but around noon, I felt this incredible chill run down by spine, so I knew the deed had been done.

The idea of life with our new President might be a little too much to process at the moment, but at least we have the Friday Night Think Tank, so we can be together to try to wrap our brains around what the future holds.

I asked the interns to put together a playlist of suitable songs to help inspire our Deep Thoughts tonight, but it appears they decided to play REM’s “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” on a continuous loop.

Please join me for the inaugural Think Tank of Trump’s Presidency.  Something tells me we’re going to need to do a lot of deep thinking over the next four years…

This week’s topic:  Donald Trump’s Inauguration was today.  It might not be the end of the world as we know it, but do you feel fine?

Trump's Inauguration, President Trump, end of days, philosophy, politics, humor, Modern PhilosopherAs I said in the introduction, I was at work when Trump as President the joke became Trump as President the reality.

There were so many comments on Facebook about the change in power, but nothing jumped out at me to indicate that anything had gone horribly wrong.  Yet.

It’s usually pretty busy at the grocery store on Friday nights, but I commented to the checkout clerk tonight that it was incredibly slow.  That could’ve been a good sign, meaning that no one was in a panic stocking up on supplies and preparing for end of days.

Then again, it could’ve meant everyone had already fled to Canada, and I was one of the few dummies who had stuck around to deal with President Trump.

I checked CNN after dinner (I waited until after I had eaten because I didn’t want my meal to be ruined) and there was no sign of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse riding into Washington DC to signal that the end was near.

Right now, I’m more stressed about my week at work than I am about life under President Trump, so I suppose that means I feel fine.

Of course, I reserve the right to change that answer at any point over the next four years.  And I need to add that I keep hesitating when I say “the next four years” because my gut tells me President Trump isn’t going to make it through his first term.

I really think he’s going to step down.  He’ll enjoy the spotlight, do some of the things he promised, rattle a few cages, cause some controversy, and when we least expect it, he’ll ride off into the sunset and leave the running of the country to the actual politicians.

President Donald Trump, Trump's inauguration, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherThere was a part of me that thought he’d walk away before the Inauguration, but I honestly don’t think he stays for his entire term.  And if he doesn’t quit, then impeachment is certainly an option.

So, yeah, Modern Philosophers, at the moment, I feel fine.  How are you doing?

You should follow me now on my blog and on Pinterest just in case the end of the world is coming…

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Will Donald Trump The Robot Apocalypse?

Donald Trump, Trump's inauguration, The Robot Apocalypse, The Machines, technology, paranoia, doomsday, hacking the election, humor, Modern PhilosopherOn the eve of Donald Trump’s inauguration, I realize that I have totally neglected one major story because we’ve all been so distracted by the President Elect’s rise to power…

The Robot Apocalypse!

We’ve been so caught up in the election and the coming Trumpocalypse, that we’ve paid absolutely no mind to Robot High Command’s plot to enslave the human race and take over the world.

Was it a coincidence that Trump came along when he did, or was he a part of The Machine’s devious plan all along?

Let’s look at the facts:

Donald Trump “won” the election, and is about to become the President of the United States.  Reports suggest that the election results might have been “influenced” by hackers.  Intelligence agencies believe the Russians were behind this hack.  The Russians deny any involvement, Trump doesn’t trust the intelligence agencies, and many people believe the world will end once Trump takes the Oath of Office.

It is hard to believe that Donald Trump, a man with absolutely no political experience and the tendency to say whatever the hell pops into his head at any given moment, would beat an experienced politician like Hillary Clinton, whose every word, thought, and blink was scripted, in such an important election.

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, hacking, politics, technology, The Machines, The Robot Apocalypse, humor, Modern PhilosopherIt makes sense that Putin and the Russians would want their comrade to win the election. We know that Russian hackers have the skills necessary to mess with our nation’s ancient polling machines, and Putin has the balls to order them to do it.

But isn’t that “The Russians did it!!” theory just a little too perfect, and isn’t Putin just a bit too on the nose on the evil mastermind of this master plan?

Wouldn’t setting up the Russians to be the villains like this was a kick ass 80s action flick be a classic misdirection?  Isn’t Trump the larger than life controversial figure that forces everyone to pick a side with great passion?  And when everyone picks a side in a situation like this, don’t they get tunnel vision, only focus on the issue at hand, and totally let down their guard when it comes to pretty much anything else?

Do you see where I’m going with this yet, Modern Philosophers?

Trump didn’t just happen to come along to dominate the news cycles and make us all rush to social media to attack or support him.

The Russians didn’t hack the election, but somebody did.

The Robot Apocalypse, The Machines, Donald Trump, Valdimir Putin, Russian hackers, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherWho would want us so distracted?

Who would want Trump in charge even more than the Russians would?

Who would have the easiest time hacking a system of machines across the country?

Robot High Command.

Think about it, Modern Philosophers.  The Machines simply hacked themselves.  Robot High Command wanted Trump in control of the country because it already had him under control.

With Twitter.

The more the President Elect bumbles around on Twitter, the further he falls under the spell of The Machines.

We’re all so worried that Donald Trump is going to bring about the Apocalypse (after he brings us The Purge, of course), that we’ve completely forgotten to guard against the one true threat to the human race:

The Robot Apocalypse.

The Machines used Trump as a virus that quickly spread across the nation and infected us all, no matter how we felt about the man.

President Elect Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin, Alaska, Russia, Trump's inauguration, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherNow that the virus has been uploaded, Robot High Command has us exactly where it wants us.  While we protest Trump’s inauguration, or throw our support completely behind the man, The Machines are coming for us.

Before we know it, we will be their slaves and praying that we had only been so lucky to go out in a mushroom cloud of infamy in the Trumpocalypse.

It might not be too late, though, Modern Philosophers!  Stop worrying about Trump ending the world, and prepare, instead, for The Robot Apocalypse.

Let Robot High Command keep Trump.  There are plenty of other flawed leaders out there for us to elect in the years ahead.  Head to your basement bunkers.  Unplug for a few days.  Don’t give The Machines a way in to take over your mind and soul.

Good luck, godspeed, and never forget that there are actually still worse things than Trump in the world!

Before you unplug, you should follow my blog and follow me on Pinterest so you can stay up to date on the fight against Robot High Command!

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Your Neighbor’s Garage Band Is Playing Trump’s Inauguration

What bands are playing at Trump's inauguration, Donald Trump, Trump's inauguration, entertainment, music, garage bands, humor, Modern PhilosopherJust when you thought things could not get any worse with President Elect Trump, Modern Philosophers, he had to go and drag your annoying neighbor into it.

You know the neighbor I mean.  The one with the band that practices in his garage every night.  Really late.

They play covers that sound nothing like the originals, but more like a couple of cats in heat going at it after partaking in far too much catnip.

You’ve secretly called the cops with noise complaints on this neighbor, and he pretends not to know while you politely ask him for info on the band’s upcoming gigs.

You have two dreams: that this neighbor will move very far away sometime soon, or that he will suddenly come to his senses, realize that he has absolutely no musical talent, and quit the band.

Or course, we both know there are other dreams that are much more violent and cruel, but you never mention those to anyone so they never have to testify against you in court.

But now Donald Trump has gone and crushed those dreams.  By hiring your neighbor’s band to play at his inauguration on Friday, he has assured that the tone deaf freak down the street will never give up his dream.

And there’s no way he’s going to move out of his lucky garage.  He’s just going to quit his day job so he can practice day and night as the notoriety from the “Trump Gig”, as he will annoyingly refer to it for all eternity, will lead to more opportunities for the band.

Trump's inauguration, Donald Trump, music, entertainment, garage bands, annoying neighbors, humor, Modern PhilosopherHell, he’s probably going to be inspired to write original tunes now, and I bet he comes to you for feedback.  He’ll sit on your porch, invading your personal space, thrashing out off key chords on his brand new guitar (the Trump Gig paid for it!), and screeching lyrics that not only make no sense, but also cause your ears to bleed.

The worst part of it all, well except maybe for the horrible music, is that you did nothing to deserve this fate.  You didn’t vote for Trump, you didn’t ask your neighbor to move in to the Anderson place (remember how sweet and quiet they were?) after they retired and left for Florida, and you certainly didn’t force the music business’ top acts (or even the lesser known ones) to boycott Trump’s inauguration.

But someone had to provide entertainment for our new President on his special day, and somehow, your neighbor’s band’s demo tape ended up in the right hands, and now you’ll never know peace and quiet again.

Maybe there’s a bright side to all this.

Perhaps the band’s newfound fame will raise property values.  Maybe having all those news trucks constantly parked on your block to cover the band’s practices will scare away potential burglars.  There’s always the chance Trump will love the inauguration performance so much that he insists on the band moving to DC to become the White House’s official band in residence.

Donald Trump, Trump's inauguration, entertainment, music, garage bands, satire, Modern PhilosopherDare to dream.

Because you’re definitely not going to be able to sleep ever again.

Keep on rockin’ in the free world, Modern Philosophers.  If it’s any comfort, I’m sure President Trump will be responsible for far worse things over the course of his term.

It would really rock if you followed my blog and followed me on Pinterest!

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Trump Gives Alaska To Russia As Thank You Gift

Trump gives Alaska back to Russia, Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Russia, Alaska, politics, Trump's inauguration, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherPresident Elect Donald Trump’s inauguration is not until Friday, Modern Philosophers, but he is already sending thank you gifts to those who helped him win the election.

And the billionaire, who really knows how to spend, is not skimping on the presents.

Today, Trump surprised one of his most ardent supporters, Russian President Vladimir Putin, with the gift of Alaska.

“Putin gets a bad rap because the Democrats wanted us to see him as the enemy,” Trump explained as he signed away the forty-ninth state in yet another horrible real estate deal.  “I know better.  The man is a friend, an ally, and a lover of all things American.”

Is that why you thought you should give him his own chunk of America?

“Alaska used to be part of Russia, so we’re merely giving a very cold, very far away place back to its rightful owner,” Trump continued.  “I’m hoping that this very generous gesture of good will is going to kick off eight years of great relations between our nations.”

Oh, so you’re already counting on getting re-elected?  Guess it makes sense to give the hackers a fun place to hang out until the next election…

President Elect Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin, Alaska, Russia, Trump's inauguration, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhen asked what will happen to the current residents of Alaska, President Elect Trump explained that everyone in Alaska will have dual Russian and American citizenship for the next year.  By the end of the year, however, anyone not wanting to be a Russian citizen needs to move to one of the other forty-nine states.

Forty-nine if Trump hasn’t given away any others by then…

According to Trump, residents of Alaska will be referred to as “Russicans”, and will be expected to pay taxes to both governments.

Sounds harsh, but they will get all the Russian holidays, too…

“Of course, I didn’t just give Russia to President Putin to thank him for his help and support,” Trump bragged to the stunned press corps.  “I also did it to create jobs.”

Do you mean for moving companies, realtors, and immigration lawyers?

“Since we will only have forty-nine states, we will need millions of new American flags,” he further explained.  “Where do you think the factories will be that will make all those flags?  In America, of course.  I arranged the deal.  I made sure the company set up shop in America.  I can personally guarantee that every worker in those factories will be American because Trump Flags will not hire anyone who is not an American citizen!”

American flag, Donald Trump, Alaska, Vladimir Putin, Russia, Trump's inauguration, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhoa!  Did you say Trump Flags?  You own the company that sounds like it has an exclusive deal to make American flags?

“Don’t worry,” Trump reassured everyone.  “There’s no conflict of interest.  My sons will run Trump Flags.  I’ll be too busy being President, exacting revenge on my enemies, and tweeting to be involved in the business.”

Why does that sound like one of the least reassuring statements I’ve ever heard?

The people of Alaska were unavailable for comment.  Apparently, due to a problem with the state’s electrical grid, there is a massive blackout, no access to the internet, and no way to communicate with anyone in Alaska.

“The Russians are closer, so they’re going to deal with the problem,” Trump added.  “Putin himself assured me that he is sending in his best electricians, who all happen to be members of the Russian military, to restore the power and bring order to that giant icy black hole that is no longer America’s problem.”

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, Russia, America, Alaska, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhen asked via Skype to comment about President Elect Trump’s thank you gift of Alaska, President Putin replied, “It’s a start”.

Then he laughed maniacally, which became really creepy when he ripped off his shirt and began circling states on a giant map of America pinned to his office wall.

The people of Alaska, now known as Russicans, will be in my prayers tonight.  If you folks are looking for a place just as cold and beautiful as Alaska, Maine has plenty of room!

Follow me on Pinterest and you will have my sincere thanks.  Unfortunately, I will not be able to send you a state of your own as a thank you gift…

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

I Had A Dream (It Was Pretty Weird)

I Have a Dream, Martin Luther King Jr Day, dream analysis, Donald Glover, ballet, humor, Modern PhilosopherHappy Martin Luther King, Jr Day, Modern Philosophers!

I celebrated it in typical Maine fashion by going to work.  Does it surprise you that an office open the day after Christmas would also be open today?

Despite my having to work on his holiday, I wanted to do something on my blog to honor this special day.

Dr. King is famous for, among many other things, his “I Have A Dream” speech.  I thought I would tip my hat to him why my very own “I Had A Dream (It Was Pretty Weird)” blog post.

Something tells me that no one will be quoting my words decades, or even days from now.  But if they make you laugh or think, even a little, then I’ve accomplished something.

So I had a dream last night, and it was pretty weird.

It was about my friend, who was a ballerina (but not one in real life), and begged me to attend her performance.  Now ballet isn’t usually my thing, Modern Philosophers, but I didn’t want to disappoint my friend, so I agreed to go.

The ballet was being held at The Second Generation Theater, which is right down the block from The House on the Hill.  It’s also where we used to tape The Nite Show before we moved to The Gracie Theatre.

The performance was pretty good.  At least I think it was.  It was my first time ever at the ballet so I had no true point of reference, but I was impressed by my friend.  She’s really easy on the eyes, and looked even more beautiful in her tutu doing her dancer thing.

Donald Glover, Young Han Solo movie, ballet, dreams, ballet, Martin Luther King Jr, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhen the show ended, however, one of the other audience members stood up and loudly booed my friend.  He said some pretty mean things about her, and I was pretty pissed.

To my surprise, the idiot in question was Donald Glover, the actor from Community, Atlanta, and the upcoming Young Han Solo movie.  Seriously, dude?

As much as I wanted to kick his ass, my friend needed comforting more.  It’s a very tiny theater, and I knew she’d heard every last mean word out of Mr. Hollywood’s mouth.

So I searched for a piece of paper to write down some kind words to give to my friend to read when she had the time.

I figured I could slip backstage, leave the note in her dressing room, and give her some alone time to process it all.  I didn’t want to see her crying in case she was embarrassed and my presence upset her anymore.

The only problem with my perfect plan was that I would not find any paper in the entire theater.  Finally, I came across a discarded newspaper and wrote my note on its pages.

who still reads the newspaper, humor, Modern PhilosopherFor the record, who still reads the newspaper?  Did I somehow time travel back to the 1950s and not realize it?  How crazy is this dream?

I went backstage, found my friend’s dressing room, and slipped quietly inside to leave my note.  The pretty ballerina was on the couch, however, crying her eyes out.

I apologized for Donald Glover’s horrible behavior, told her how amazing I thought she’d been, and handed her my note.

To my surprise and chagrin (it was really bothering me to see her cry, but I was afraid to try to hug her in case the act was too forward), she asked me to read it aloud because she was too upset to read it herself.

I granted her request and read the note, which was much sweeter than I remembered, and then she gave me a huge hug and cried on my shoulder.  Then she totally shocked me by  kissing me and telling me I was her hero.

That was when I woke up.  Time to go to work.  But what did that dream mean???

My guess is that I dreamed about the ballet because a character in the book I’m reading is a former ballerina.  The Next Generation Theater might have been in my head because I had written monologue jokes for The Nite Show on Sunday afternoon.

I recently saw Donald Glover on The Golden Globes, and I really want to see Rogue One, which might also explain why the star of an upcoming Star Wars flick was on my mind.

Martin Luther King Jr, I Have A Dream, dream analysis, ballet, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhy did I dream about this particular friend?  Why would I ever agree to go to the ballet?  Why was it so important to me to comfort her?  Why did her kiss wake me from my deep slumber?

I guess I’ll never know.  Dreams are just like that I guess.

Like I said at the start of all this, I had a dream and it was pretty weird.

Of course, if you want to take a shot at analyzing my dream, have at it in the comments section.  I’m eager to read your Deep Thoughts on this one.

Remember…no matter how weird it might be, never be afraid to have a dream!

I have a dream that you follow my blog, and then follow me on Twitter and Pinterest.  Do you think you can make that a reality?

Posted in Holidays, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments