Trump Declares That Every Day Is Now President’s Day

President Trump, Presidents Day, holiday, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherHappy Presidents Day, Modern Philosophers.

In case you forgot about the holiday, don’t worry.  It will be coming around again much sooner than usual.

As in tomorrow.

President Trump signed a new Executive Order today declaring that every day is now President’s Day.

“President’s Day is a huge holiday that seems to get forgotten because it’s lumped in with school vacation and Valentine’s Day,” Trump addressed the White House Press Corps himself as Sean Spicer stood in the corner, arms crossed, and pouting like a child sent to bed without his milk and cookies.

“Arbor Day, Flag Day, Columbus Day…these are holidays, too,” he continued.  “They all get one day on the calendar, which makes them seem just as important as President’s Day.  But they’re not.  Since when is a tree as important as the leader of the free world?  I mean, I like the flag, but come on.  Not as important as the Commander in Chief.”

“So that’s why I’ve signed an Executive Order declaring that every day of the year is going to be President’s Day!”

He paused here as if expecting a rousing round of applause to fill the room.  It did not.  The reporters just listened in confused silence, while Sean Spicer mumbled something rude under his breath.

“And President’s Day, which is now huge, the biggest holiday of all, more important than even Christmas, is not a celebration of the twenty or thirty men who held this office before me.  They can still have their one day in February.  I don’t care.  I’m not petty that way.  They should be remembered as the men who came before me, the President who made America Great again!”

Presidents Day, Donald Trump, holidays, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherAnother applause break.  Again, just crickets.  More angry Spicer.

“President’s Day, the new, year long holiday will be celebrating me, Donald Trump.  President Trump to you, of course,” Trump reminded them all with a huge grin.

“When I was kid, I asked my father why there was a Father’s Day and a Mother’s Day, but no Kid’s Day.  You want to know what he told me?  He said every day was Kid’s Day.  Then he ruffled my hair, gave me ten thousand dollars, and told me to run along and buy myself a candy store.  Great guy my Dad.  Great guy.”

President Trump then went on to explain that he expected presents to be delivered to the White House every day in celebration of President’s Day.

“I promised you I would create new jobs, and if the American people send me Happy President’s Day gifts every day of the year as I’ve suggested, we’ll have to keep the post offices open on Sundays, and hire more postal workers to deliver my presents.  Then, of course, they’ll be more jobs at the wrapping paper plant, and the factories that make bows and ribbons for packages.  Everything made in America.  And all for me!”

“During this afternoon’s press briefing, I’ll have Spicer read you a list of all the places I’ve registered for President’s Day gifts,” Trump promised.  “I expect you to actually report this and hold off on your fake news for at least one day.  It can be your first President’s Day gift to me.  Even though we all know I deserve better.”

Happy Presidents Day, President Trump, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherI believe the American people feel the exact same way, Mr. President.

Remember all those who came before our forty-fifth President, Modern Philosophers.  It might make you appreciate our forty-sixth President even more.

And don’t forget, since tomorrow is President’s Day, there might be no school, banks might be closed, and there’s probably won’t be any garbage pick up.  What a wonderful holiday this could be…

Celebrate the holiday right: follow me on my blog and on Pinterest!

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Let Me Paint Your Soul

The Devil, Hell, short story, flash fiction, paint and sip, writing, Modern Philosopher“You look more disheveled than usual,” The Devil proclaimed from the doorway to the living room.

He stood there in his impeccably tailored suit, looking as handsome as ever, and offered a charming, yet Devilish smile to soften his words.

I frowned, brushed some Doritos crumbs off of my toga, and quickly tried to fix my hair like some sort of self-conscious weirdo.

“We’re too far along in our relationship for me to even try to make an effort anymore,” I quipped.

Lucifer sighed mockingly and then made his way across the room with the long, confident strides of someone who is well aware that he will always be worth the effort.

“Seriously, though.  You look spent.  What were you doing before I got here?” Lucifer asked with genuine concern in his voice.  “I wish I could ask who you were doing, but we both know you are pathetically single and not even making an effort at this point.”

I raised an eyebrow to that comment, which seemed a bit below the belt, but couldn’t be since togas do not have belts.

“I was actually out clearing snow off the roof and chopping the ice that had built up at the end of the driveway,” I explained as I grabbed a much deserved Snapple out of the cooler.

Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, The Devil, short story, flash fiction, humor, Modern PhilosopherI did not offer one to my guest, however, because of his snarky dating comment.

“It’s fifty degrees out there,” The Prince of Darkness declared as he fished his own bottle of Snapple out of the cooler.  “Let global warming do the work for you.”

“There’s too much snow, so it needs a little help,” I informed him.  “Plus, if there are any ice damns on the roof, it could cause a leak.  It’s better to urge it along, instead of just sitting around and waiting for it to happen.”

“Kind of like your love life,” Satan mumbled.

I pretended that I didn’t hear him.  I was too sore to argue.  I just wanted to sit on the couch, drink Snapple, and watch a little TV.

“You know what we should do some Sunday when you have more energy and actually put a little effort into your appearance?” The Devil asked eagerly.

I wanted to ignore him, but he would just keep asking if I did.

“I give up,” I replied with absolutely no enthusiasm.

“One of those paint and sip classes,” Lucifer responded with far more enthusiasm than I would have expected given the subject matter.

I looked at him in confusion.  “Do you mean that thing where you drink wine and then paint an awful picture that you don’t know what to do with when the night is done?”

The Devil, short story, Sunday Fun Day, paint and sip, humor, Modern Philosopher“Exactly!” The Prince of Darkness exclaimed with a beaming grin.  “It would be nice to get out of the house and meet new people.  Unlike you, I don’t get to explore my creative side very often.”

“Art and wine.  Two things I’ve never understood,” I crapped on the idea hard.  “That would be a definite pass for me.”

Satan put down his bottle of Snapple and gave me a long, unsettling stare.  “Art I get, but how do you not understand wine?  You put it in a glass and drink it. Like Snapple, only with a kick.”

“I went to a couple of wine tastings after my divorce because I thought it would be a fun way to meet women,” I confessed.  “I’d try all these wines, but I couldn’t differentiate one from the other.  They all just tasted kind of sour and gross to be honest.”

Like relationships?  Oh my…did I actually just form that though?  Maybe I did need a little help in the dating department, but now was not the time to bring up that fact.

“I suppose it would be hard to chat up a woman at a wine tasting, if all you could offer on the subject was that the taste repulsed you,” The Devil conceded.

“And if you throw painting into the mix, you’re just asking for King Klutz over here to make a scene,” I assured him.  “I would end up with more paint on me than on the canvas.  Not my idea of fun.”

“It would definitely spice up your wardrobe, though,” Lucifer joked as he eyed my toga.

I said nothing because he was right and I wanted the conversation to end.  Hopefully, next week’s short story will not be coming to you from the paint and sip place up the street.

A true artist would follow me on my blog and on Pinterest…

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

How To Survive Saturday When You’re Single

dating tips, life hacks, surviving date night when you're single, humor, Modern PhilosopherValentine’s Day was on Tuesday, Modern Philosophers, and guess what?

You survived!

That holiday is difficult to get through regardless of your relationship status, so congratulations on making it to the second half of February.

“Survive” is word that gets thrown around a lot when you’re single.  You have to survive holidays, survive your ex’s new relationship, survive the whispers of your friends and family, survive without love and human contact…

You managed to outwit, outplay, and outlast Cupid’s little holiday, but that only rolls around once a year.  The real challenge is surviving Saturday Date Night, an event that is on your calendar a whopping fifty-two times a year!

If you can get to Sunday without cracking, youre a winner.  So here’s a Dating Tips post on how to survive a year of Saturday nights and become a singles champion..

dating tips, life hacks, being single, humor, Modern PhilosopherSweatpants and Snapple.  The first step to surviving Saturday night is being comfortable with the fact that you are single and won’t be spending the evening with someone special.

In my book, the best way to get comfy is to put on some ratty sweatpants and pour myself and big glass of Snapple.

After a long, stressful week of work, getting to spend the night alone in my quiet, cozy home is an extremely comfortable concept.  Who wants to have to dress up, fuss over the details of planning a night out, and worry about whether you’re impressing the person who agreed to spend some time with you on your night off?

If you allow yourself to feel comfortable, you will soon get comfortable with the idea of being alone on a Saturday night.

dating tips, life hacks, being single, humor, Modern PhilosopherChores Done Your Way.  I like to save some weekly chores for Saturday night to keep me distracted.  Saturday night is laundry night, and it makes me damn happy to know that I’m doing laundry my way.

My ex-wife was very particular about how the laundry was done, and completely anal about how things got folded and put away.  Melissa was on a mission to make me sort colors, change temperature settings on the washer, and add fabric softener to every load.

What?  I do laundry the single guy way: everything goes in one load, whatever the temperature setting is, and nothing gets added but detergent.

I don’t have time to go on a date.  I’ve got laundry to take out of the dryer and leave sitting in the basket for several days!

dating tips, Saturday night, date night, life hacks, relationships, humor, Modern PhilosopherDinner, Dessert, DVR.  Just because I’m home on a Saturday night doesn’t mean I’m a pathetic sad sack lamenting the lack of love in my life.  I am still going to treat myself to a fun evening and not even think about the fact that I’m not on a date.

I always make sure to have a delicious dinner.  I try to eat healthy during the week, but on Saturday night I’ll splurge and treat myself to something that might be bad for me in terms of calories, but good for me because it’s yummy.

There is always something for dessert, too.  Maybe it’s ice cream, apple pie, or something with chocolate and peanut butter.  Just enough sugar on my plate to make up for the sugar that I will not be getting elsewhere.

After a busy week, my DVR is packed with my favorite shows, and there’s usually a great flick for a Saturday Movie Night.  Who needs date night?  I can’t want for tonight!

life hacks, being single, dating tips, humor, Modern PhilosopherReading, Writing, Relaxing.  Alliteration makes things easy to remember.  My imagination is a great companion on a Saturday night.  I can get lost for hours in a book, or better yet, send myself on an adventure of my own creation.

Saturday nights are perfect for writing.  Depending on my mood, I could tackle any number of genres and formats.  There are always stories dancing around in my head, and I just need the time to turn my mental dance partners into screenplays, blog posts, TV shows, short stories, or novels.

Once the ideas finally settle down and allow my brain a moment’s rest, I slip into Relaxation Mode.  Saturday nights should be all about recharging my battery, making sure that stress levels are within the acceptable zones, and turning my life into one giant Zen garden.  Saturday Date Night would not mesh well with that philosophy.

dating tips, it's okay to be single, relationships, life hacks, humor, Modern Philosopher


Call Off The Search Party.  I used to spend Saturday nights searching the online dating sites for my next true love, or at the very least, a date for next Saturday night.  That only frustrated me more and increased the pressure to find someone special.

You can’t put up flyers search for Lost Love, Modern Philosophers.  Love just finds you when you least expect it.  Maybe it’s that cute coworker who used to put her feet up on your desk and demand to know why you’d walk to Subway in a snowstorm.  Perhaps it’s a fellow blogger with an adorable accent who lives halfway around the world.

Stop wasting your Saturday nights looking for a date.  Just stay home, relax, and enjoy yourself.  This way, Love knows where to come knocking when it wants to find you.

dating tips, it's okay to be single, date night, life hacks, humor, Modern PhilosopherStay Clear of Memory Lane.  Do not spend your Saturday nights looking at photos of the one who got away, watching the videos she sent so you can hear that accent, or reading her old emails.  Yes, she has left a trail a mile long that you could easily follow back to her, but all it really leads to is your broken heart.

Don’t torture yourself like that.  Don’t conjure up images of how you could be spending your Saturday nights if she were still by your side.  You’re single now and while you don’t have to necessarily move on if you’re not ready, just don’t take a step backwards.

I’m all for Time Travel, but not when you ask the DeLorean to take you to Memory Lane.  That’s a part of town and you need to avoid it like the Trump Administration avoids facts.

I hope these tips come in handy.  Have a great Saturday night.  If you need me, you know where I’ll be…

One more tip: You should follow me on my blog and on Pinterest.

Posted in Humor, Love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Is Trump Assembling A Breakfast Club?

The Breakfast Club, Nuns, President Trump, Steve Bannon, Sean Spicer, Michael Flynn, Betsy DeVos, Kellyanne Conway, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherAs I was collecting my Deep Thoughts, Modern Philosophers, for the Friday Night Think Tank, my mind kept drifting back to the idea that President Trump’s White House is out of control.  Almost like it’s occupied by a bunch of annoying kids from a teen comedy.

Since Dean Wormer isn’t around to put that rowdy frat house on Pennsylvania Avenue on double secret probation, I wondered if we should just send in The Nuns to whip those troublemakers into shape.

Having gone to Catholic School, I am well aware of the power that the stern ladies in the dark habits possess.

How one cold stare or one tap of a ruler against an ancient palm could bring a swift and sudden order to a seemingly unstoppable chaos.

When you really think about it, doesn’t it seem like President Trump has surrounded himself with a modern day version of The Breakfast Club?  The members of Trump’s inner circle who have dominated the news lately would probably be spending Saturday in the library under the watchful eyes of The Nuns if they were of high school age.

Let’s review this version of the Detention Dream Team:

Michael Flynn recently resigned as the National Security Advisor amidst allegations that he said some things to the Russians that he should not have.  He’s that kid from school you could never trust because he goes behind your back and gives up your deep, dark secrets to your nemesis.  Then he lies to you and tells you he didn’t do it, but luckily, you’ve got it all on tape to prove he’s a liar.

Sean Spicer, the White House Press Secretary has a reputation for being a bit of a hot head.  You never know when he’s going to go off on you for asking him a simple question, and he will definitely hold a grudge and make you pay for any perceived slight.  Anger management would probably be the next step for this guy if Saturday detention doesn’t improve his attitude and make him a little kinder and gentler.

Kellyanne Conway, Pesident Trump, The Breakfast Club, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherKellyanne Conway, Counselor to President Trump, has a thing for alternative facts and spinning any situation to make her boss look good.  She’s that girl from school who acted like a queen bee, thought she knew everything, and got into trouble for talking back to and correcting the teachers.

Betsy DeVos, Trump’s Secretary of Education, is now being guarded by the US Marshals Service after a group of protestors prevented her from entering a school.  At least that’s the excuse she gave the principal for missing school that day.  DeVos is that spoiled rich girl who had everything served to her on a silver platter, including Saturday detention because she someone caused everyone in the school to hate her.

Then there’s Steve Bannon, Trump’s Darth Vader.  He rules the universe via his mastery of the Dark Side of the Force, and Force chokes anyone who disagrees with the way he thinks the country should be run.  He’s the guy who’s in detention every week because he does crazy $%^& like building walls around the cafeteria to keep out the nerds.  No one wants to mess with him, and the teachers don’t quite know how to deal with him, so I guess it’s up to the Secretary of Education to decide this fate…

Friday Night Think Tank, President Trump, The Breakfast Club, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhat do you think, Modern Philosophers?

Has President Trump assembled a modern day version of The Breakfast Club?  Do you think a month’s worth of Saturday detentions is going to get this pack of ne’er-do-wells to walk the straight and narrow again?  Or do you simply think they’ll use their new found power to have us all deported to another school?

Would Trump’s Breakfast Club be any match for The Nuns?  Should they all be put on Double Secret Probation for the remainder of the school year?  I’d really like to know your Deep Thoughts on all this.

Don’t you forget about me…follow me on my blog and on Pinterest!

Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

We’ll Cross That Bridge When They Plow It

The city of Bangor, Maine has announced that it will not be plowing its sidewalks after a blizzard pounded the city with two feet of snowI established earlier this week, Modern Philosophers, that I have forgotten how to properly enjoy a day off.

I spent Monday’s snow day shoveling out from under twenty-four inches of snow.  Today was another day off, and my inner Ferris Bueller @#$% the bed yet again.

It snowed last night, but we didn’t end up getting the eight to twelve inches they originally predicted.

Tangent time: Do meteorologists really have any idea of how much snow a storm will bring, or do they all get together, settle on a number, and report it like law?

Regardless, we ended up with a few inches.  Nothing that couldn’t have waited until later in the day, except I’d made an appointment to bring my car to the mechanic.  That meant I had to get up early, clear the snow in the driveway, and then tackle the snow mountain left at the foot of the driveway by the city plow.

Since I’m always talking about this annoying pile of snow re-gifted to me by the city after Snow Miser had already left it for me with a big bow wrapped around it out in the street, I thought I’d take a photo.

I hope this does it some justice…

The snow gift left at the end of the driveway by the city plowAs you can see, it is much higher than the level of the snow that fell overnight in the driveway.  And if you look closely, you can see that the street is still in crappy condition.

After I dropped off the car, I had to walk into Bangor to have my income taxes done at the Bangor Public Library.  This is a wonderful free service that I take advantage of every year, but for some weird reason, it always snows on the day I take off weeks in advance.

Does anyone else sense Snow Miser’s involvement?

It’s a quick fifteen minute walk across the bridge to get to the library, but today’s journey was made more difficult by the fact that Brewer and Bangor haven’t plowed the sidewalks since Monday’s blizzard.

I’m okay with walking in the street in my neighborhood because it’s so peaceful, but I had no idea that the sidewalks on the bridge had not been cleared!

Bangor, Maine, snow day, anger, humor, Modern PhilosopherBrewer, Bangor, Maine, crossing a bridge, walking in snow, blizzard, humor, Modern PhilosopherAs you can see from these photos, which I stupidly took while crossing the bridge by walking in traffic, the sidewalks are packed with snow.

The snow was several feet high, so it’s not like I could’ve even made an attempt to use the sidewalk.

I crossed that bridge in my fastest time ever, and I was lucky that 10:30 on a Thursday morning is a slow time for traffic on the bridge.

Filing my taxes went well.  They took me right in, which is a first.  I’ve always had to wait at least an hour, which I don’t mind since it’s free and I get to spend it in a beautiful library filled with books written by my neighbor, Stephen King.

I was greatly amused by the septuagenarian volunteer who processed my forms.  He kept cursing whenever he made a mistake, but I don’t think he realized he was doing it loud enough for me to hear.  It made me chuckle.

I’m getting a nice refund, and I made it back across the bridge.  When I got home, I discovered the city plow had cleared my street again, so I shoveled the end of the driveway.

Then, because I have no clue how to relax on my day off, I attempted to clear the sidewalk in front of The House on the Hill.  At this point, the snow is at least four feet deep because Mark’s snowblower sent all the snow from the end of my driveway onto the sidewalk.

blizzard, snow, how not to spend a day off, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherOkay.  Not a great idea.  I made maybe a foot and a half of progress before I gave up.

Still a glutton for punishment, I decided to clear the giant icicles hanging from the roof over my back door.  You can see the door and the icicles at the very top center of this photo.  What you can’t see is that the snow in my backyard is up to my chest because I haven’t shoveled and Mark’s snowblower moved the snow from my driveway into the backyard.

I ended up with snow in my boots and up my pants leg.  My socks were soaked.  My lungs were burning from all the effort.  But it was worth it because I got those damn icicles.

After I picked up the car, it was time to take Luna to the vet.  This is always a nightmare because she hates the vet, and she knows to hide under my bed whenever she wants to avoid capture.

I managed to get her into her carrier after she pulled one daring escape, and got her to the vet without incident.

Here are some photos of Luna, who hates going to the vet, waiting for the vet to come into the room for her appointment…

taking the cat to the vet, Luna, pets, kitty, Brewer Vet Clinic, humor, Modern PhilosopherYes, she jumped up onto the shelf and made herself at home.

pets, cats, vet, Brewer Vet Clinic, humor, Modern PhilosopherSure, Daddy, I’ll pose for a photo.  I don’t mind one bit.  It’s nice here.

Luna, cats, pets, going to the vet, adorable cat photos, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhy do you always get so stressed about having to take me to the vet, Daddy?

Luna and I finally made it home around 6:15, which is later than I usually get home from work.  My day off, which I am told by my coworkers is meant to be relaxing, was busier than any day I’ve had at work this week.

I’m home now.  My kitties are safe.  The car is fixed.  I’m getting a refund.  The driveway is shoveled.  The icicles are gone.  There’s no snow in the forecast for the next week.

Maybe I can relax this weekend…

You should follow me on my blog and on Pinterest, and perhaps give me some tips on how to properly enjoy a day off!

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Sneeze Propelled Office Chair Rides

Coming down with a cold, Winter in Maine, office humor, blizzards, Modern PhilosopherI was sneezing so hard and in such rapid fire succession at work today, Modern Philosophers, that the force generated sent me rolling backwards in my office chair.

As the day progressed and the sneezes got more powerful, I improved on the distance of my chair rides to the point that I might have set a new American Office Record (the World Record, held by the Chinese, will never be broken!).

At one point, my chair traveled so far that a coworker predicted I would soon roll in the Supervisor’s office.  If I could have pulled off that one, the Chinese would have been in danger of losing their iron grip on the record book.

How in the world did I come down with a cold right before my day off?  Let’s see…

Could it be because “The Crud” has been slithering around my office for the past two months?  So many of my coworkers have been sick, and at times, the coughing has been so deafening and violent that I’ve felt like I worked on a Tuberculous ward.

I’ve noticed a definite increase in the number of humidifiers and salt lamps on my coworkers’ desk, as people try to fend off the sickness that seems intent on claiming everyone in the building.

Of course, I could be coming down with something because I spent five hours outside in a blizzard on Monday, working up a wicked sweat as I struggled to clear away Snow Miser’s overly generous gift to the good people of Maine.

Winter in Maine, Blizzard Season, coming down with a cold, humor, Modern PhilosopherLook at this photo of me from Monday.

My cheeks are red from wind burn, my glasses are fogged over, I’m covered in snow, and I’m wearing a day glow safety vest.

Of course the germs found me.  How could they miss me in that vest?  It’s like I was begging for them to take over my body.

I’m sure hanging out the second story windows yesterday to clear the snow off the roof didn’t help much, either.

I don’t get sick often, but it doesn’t take a medical degree to know I’ve succumbed to an evil that should never possess a man.

Thankfully, tonight’s taping of The Nite Show has been postponed because of the weather.  I would’ve had to miss if because there was no way I could risk spreading my disease to the best studio audience this country has to offer!

On the glass is half empty side of things, tonight’s taping of The Nite Show has been postponed because of the weather.  The original report called for 8 – 12 inches of snow by morning.  Mind you, that would be on top of the 24 inches we got on Monday.

Last check, however, the forecast had been changed to 3 – 6 inches.

I could definitely handle that as opposed to the original offer.  Even though I’m off from work tomorrow, I will still be battling this sickness, I have to bring my car to the mechanic, walk over to Bangor to get my taxes done, and bring Luna to the vet.

Winter in Maine, health, winter colds, The Nite Show, humor, Modern PhilosopherSo this really isn’t a good time for me to be saddled with a cold and another foot of snow.  I’m hoping that this medicine kicks in soon and a good night’s sleep, along with time away from the office where germs breed and become super germs, will put me in a better place to tackle tomorrow’s To Do List.

If Snow Miser can dial it back on this storm, too, I just might be able to keep my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder under control.

Here’s hoping that sneeze propelled office chair rides will be a distant memory by Friday!

Follow me on my blog and on Pinterest, and I promise not to sneeze in your general direction!

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Oh, It’s Valentine’s Day?

Forgetting that it's Valentine's Day, being single on Valentine's Day, relationships, love, dating, humor, Modern PhilosopherSo it might have slipped my mind that today was Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers.

It’s not like I blanked completely.  I’m aware of what holiday falls on February 14th, and I’ve been writing Valentine’s Day themed posts for the blog, but I had no idea that today was Cupid’s special day when I went to work.  Hence the lack of red in my wardrobe.

It’s not a case of being in denial.  I’ve just been distracted lately by all the snow and its subsequent effect on my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder.  I keep waking up in the middle of the night thinking I need to shovel the driveway.

Do you want to guess how I spent my morning?

I was hanging out a second story window of The House on the Hill.  No, I wasn’t despondent because I was single on Valentine’s Day.  I was just trying to clear my roof of some of the three feet of snow that carpet bombed us yesterday.

With another foot in the forecast for tomorrow, I thought I should try to get some of the white stuff out of the way…to make room for new white stuff.

Of course, I couldn’t get the storm window open in my study.  So I finally got to use my tool box for something other than a doorstop.  I extracted a screwdriver and pried the storm window open with that and brute strength.

Then I started some lovely avalanches.  Using my trusty shovel, I pushed the snow off of the roof and onto the front lawn.  For a brief moment, I had some idea of what it must be like to be Snow Miser, hurling piles of snow at the earth below.

Once that fun was over, I went outside to clear the front porch of all the snow that had blown onto it overnight, and then widened the clearing at the end of the driveway.

Valentine's Day, Maine, snow, blizzard, humor, Modern PhilosopherAfter showering and having breakfast, my mind was focused on what the drive to work would be like in the aftermath of the storm, and how much work would be waiting for me since the office was closed yesterday.

Nowhere in those Deep Thoughts was there a hint of an idea about Valentine’s Day.

I certainly wouldn’t mind having someone special with whom to celebrate the day.  I mean, just think of how much less time I’d have to spend shoveling snow if there was a second set of hands involved in the process.

Is it sad that at the moment, one of the very top qualities I’m seeking in a female companion is the ability and willingness to operate a snow shovel?  Hey, as much as I loved Rachel and Melissa, they both always made it clear that snow removal was my job.  So I’d really like to meet someone who not only makes my heart skip a beat, but is also willing to face the next blizzard at my side.

I’ve always had a soft spot for women with glasses, so maybe my new dream woman is someone who knows her way around a shovel and/or a snow blower.

Hey, our tastes change as we mature.  This new preference makes total sense, though.

Valentine's Day, love, romance, snow, blizzards, humor, Modern PhilosopherI’ve gotten completely off track here, but in a good way.  Clearly, the Hopeless Romantic in me hasn’t give up on love.  It just seems that my internal Executive Assistant forgot to remind me it was Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Modern Philosophers.  I hope you enjoyed the day and felt a little love in your life.  I’m told it’s what the world needs now…

You don’t have to be my Valentine, but I would love it if you followed me on my blog and on Pinterest!

Posted in Humor, Love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments