The Windows To My Bankruptcy

“You look angry,” Holly pointed out as she watched Aaron sip his Snapple.  “I can see it in your eyes, and the eyes are the windows to the soul.”

She smiled.  He did not.

It was a beautiful day along the river, but Aaron sat there looking like he was the most miserable person in the world.

Don’t get me wrong: Many days, he actually could claim that title.  During his Sunday chats with his best friend, however, he usually appeared to be happy.  Maybe even perky.

“Funny you should mention windows,” he grumbled before he took another sip of Snapple to apparently give him the strength to tell his tale of woe.

short story, humor, Modern Philosopher

Holly took a sip of her coffee, and then metaphorically strapped herself in for the bumpy ride that she was certain lay ahead.

“Remember how I told you I was going to get an estimate on new windows for the house?”

Holly nodded.  This bit of news had excited her.  She loved Aaron’s house, but it was always so drafty.  She knew he hated to spend money, but she had been slowly working on him to consider getting new windows.

“Well, the rep came over on Wednesday,” he continued. 

“That’s a huge step,” Holly complimented him.  “I know how much you hate having strangers in the house.  Or dealing with people.”

Aaron nodded and sighed.

“I also hate change, spending large amounts of money, and making decisions about change and spending large amounts of money,” he added.  “I was going to ask you to come over for the appointment, but I didn’t want to bother you.”

Holly’s stomach lurched.  Such an invitation would have been welcomed.

“It’s never a bother to be there for you,” she assured him without sounding too eager or disappointed.  “How did it go?”

Aaron let out a sarcastic laugh, and then stared out at the ducks in the river for a much needed moment of Zen before continuing the story.

flash fiction,

“You know how I have the tendency to blurt out the first thing that pops into my head when I’m anxious, angry, panicked, excited, extremely hungry, or offended?

“Yes,” she replied with a smile.  “I think you left out a few other scenarios, but I know that behavior quite well.”

“You would have been very proud of me on Wednesday night after she gave me her quote on the windows,” Aaron told her.  “So many ugly words popped into my head, but I bit my tongue and wouldn’t let them out of my mouth.”

Now her interest was really piqued.

“First off, congratulations on holding back and not saying the first thing that came to mind,” she offered with a smile.  “Secondly, how much was the quote that it would have sent you spiraling into a tirade laced monologue that I’m guessing would have made a sailor blush?”

“For 20 windows, the quote was $43,000…”

“Get the !@#$ out of here!” Holly blurted out before he could even finish his sentence.  “What kind of !@#$%^ lunacy is that?  Are they !@#$%^ selling windows made of solid gold?  What the !@#$ kind of scam are they running?”

Aaron stared at her in wide eyed wonder, but then a huge smile formed on his handsome face.

“You’re right,” he confirmed.  “I should have asked you to be there for the quote.  That’s exactly the kind of response I needed.”

He extended his arm for a high five.

And without hesitation, Holly reached out to smack it.

“I’ll make some calls this week, and help you get some less insane estimates,” Holly promised.

“Thanks.  I’m not good with that kind of stuff, and that would be a huge help.  Just having you around at any future meetings would probably help me to relax.”

Holly smiled.  Could he possibly finally be coming to his senses?  She had read somewhere that miracles did happen if you kept the faith…

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Biden’s European Apology Tour A Huge Success

The results are in, Modern Philosophers, and President Joe Biden’s recent trip to apologize to European leaders for his predecessor’s behavior has been declared a huge success!

Sure, the cover story was that President Biden was traveling to Europe for the G7 Summit, and to have a sit down with President Putin, but in reality, he was going to mend fences.

Keep in mind that there is a HUGE difference between mending fences and building walls.

President Biden, politics, humor, Modern Philosopher

It is no secret that Donald Trump ruffled some feathers with world leaders.  Unless, of course, they were cut of the dictatorial cloth.  In that case, the previous President was beloved.

President Biden certainly had his work cut out for him after four years of Trump changed the way other leaders viewed the President of the United States.

But based on the comment cards I was allowed to view, the President did an extraordinary job of restoring faith in his position.

Here is just a sampling of the comments…

“It was such a relief to have a career politician representing the United States again.”

“President Biden is a much needed return to stability for a country that we all look to as a leader on the world stage.”

“I will finally be able to sleep again knowing that someone sane has control of the nuclear launch codes in America.”

“That last guy was a nut.  How the hell did he ever win?”

“Trump still owes me 300 Euros from the last summit.  I guess I can kiss that goodbye.  I am going to ask Joe for it, though, because he seems like the kind of guy who would honor the last guy’s debt.”

“I never realized how much I wanted to punch the last guy in the face until I met the new guy and didn’t want to punch him him the face.”

“Nice sunglasses.  Where can I get a pair?” 

President Biden, humor, Modern Philosopher

My sources tell me that while everyone was won over by President Biden, it did take a little while for the Germans to warm up to him.

However, it turns out that it wasn’t because Chancellor Merkel had a problem with him.  She just liked that, for once, another country was making headlines for having a windbag leader who preached nationalism, spoke out against his fellow countrymen, and riled up his most ardent supporters to take arms against those who spoke out against him.

President Biden’s European Apology Tour was such a success that promoters are putting together a similar tour of South America.  There are no current plans, however, for a similar tour of Asia, where Trump’s love of certain world leaders was well documented.

 

 

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The $43,000 Question

What would you do with $43,000, Modern Philosophers?

It’s not a trick question, and there are no wrong answers.  I’m just curious how you would spend that amount of money if you had it.

I know it’s an odd amount, and by “odd”, I mean weird or different.  Because we all know that $43,000 is actually an even number.

home improvement, humor, Modern Philosopher

Just bear with me.  I promise this will all make sense shortly.  In the meantime, I’d appreciate it if you would fill the comments section with your answers to the $43,000 question.

Okay, I think that’s enough time.

As for me, I don’t have $43,000 handy, but if I did, I’d probably spend it on a few responsible things, blow a little on fun items, and then sock away the rest for a rainy day.

That’s just the way I am.

I’ve been trying to be less frugal with my money, though.  I actually decided to spend some of it on things I’ve always needed, but have put off buying.  You know, because I hate spending large amounts of money, or making decisions about things that cost a lot of money.

For years, I’ve wanted to get new windows for The House on the Hill.  It’s an old house, the windows are somehow older than the house itself, and as a result, it gets cold in the winter and hot during the summer.

I know I could save money on heating oil if I had better windows.  It would also be nice if the entire house didn’t rattle during a wind storm.

So I finally made some calls to get a free estimate on new windows.  Of course, I even had to make stipulations on that decision.  I decided that I could only afford to do the first floor this year, and would see about doing the second floor next year.

But since the estimate was free, I did get all wild and asked the very nice representative to give me a quote on twenty new windows.

And the woman from the company was so nice, very knowledgeable about the product, and extremely patient when dealing with me and all my questions.

By the end of the 90 minutes, I was convinced that I was going to use her company for my new windows, and excitedly awaited the estimate.

Then I almost lost my $%^& when the computer spat out the number…

$43,000!

For twenty windows.

humor, life, Modern Philosopher

I had to post that photo to help me relax.  Just typing out that estimate caused my heart to race again, and the anger to rise up inside me.

$43,000 is more than this struggling writer makes in a year.  It’s more than my car costs.

I’d have to live to be 150 to save enough on heating oil every winter for the savings to amount to $43,000.

I bought The House on the Hill for a little less than three times the quote to replace the windows in the place.

I could probably make a pretty decent house out of $43,000 worth of windows, but the major drawback would be that I’d have to stop throwing stones.

$43,000???

I really need to get cracking on finishing my novel and trying to get my TV series made.

I almost blurted out, “Are you @#$%^&* kidding me?”, but I managed to contain myself.  And I’m glad I did because, like I said earlier, the rep was so nice and I realize that she is not the one who sets the prices.

I also felt bad that she had spent 90 minutes measuring windows, answering my questions, and giving her presentation, only to walk away without a sale.

But honestly, I think the company needs to be more upfront with how much their product costs.  Perhaps the website could ask how much a customer is looking to spend on the project, and the site could quickly calculate how many windows that would purchase.

I was very disappointed at the end of the night.  The estimate really bothered me because I was looking forward to making this improvement to my home.  This is why I never get my hopes up.  It also explains why I can’t have nice things.

I am going to call around and get estimates from other companies and contractors.  I’m told that not all windows are made of solid gold and coated in unicorn tears, so I’m hoping that brings the cost closer to what this Modern Philosopher can afford.

If not, it’s back to bundling up inside and thinking warm thoughts through the Maine winter.

How would you have reacted to that quote?  Have you ever been caught off guard like that when looking to make a purchase?  Can I borrow $43,000?

 

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What Do Ducks Think?

Martha and Mildred were octogenarians and lifelong Mainers, who loved walking along the river whenever the weather allowed.

“Look, there’s that cute couple we see every Sunday,” Martha pointed out to her best friend.

“They look like they really love each other,” Mildred commented.  “I bet they talk about the most amazing things.”

Martha nodded in agreement, and the friends continued down the river walk.

short story, best friends, humor, Modern Philosopher

The cute couple in question wasn’t a true couple at all unless, of course, you conceded that a couple was two people.  They were not, in fact, romantically involved as Martha and Mildred had assumed.

As for their second assumption, that they talked about amazing things, well, that was up for debate as well…

“What do you think ducks think about?” Aaron asked Holly after taking a long sip of Snapple.

It was a hot Sunday morning, and he had already downed more than half the bottle.  He wasn’t one to pace himself, and because Holly knew that about her best friend, she always carried a second bottle of iced tea in her bag in case of an emergency.

“I haven’t the foggiest idea,” Holly replied from her end of the bench.

They had been watching the ducks all morning.  There were about a dozen of them in the river, and they frolicked close to the water’s edge, not far from where the friends sat.

No offense to the adorable ducks, but what Holly really cared about was what Aaron was thinking.  How could the guy be so clueless?

“I mean, they have to be judging us, right?” he continued with his duck obsession.  “It’s so hot, and we’re walking and even running along the asphalt, when we have this beautiful river right here in which we could cool off.”

sun2

Holly took a sip of her coffee to prevent her from blurting out the first thing that came to mind, which would have hurt Aaron’s feelings.

Instead, she took that time to formulate something nice to say.

“I don’t think they’d appreciate our diving into their private pool and interrupting their peaceful morning,” she replied with a smile.

Aaron nodded and pondered that as he took another sip of Snapple.

“They look pretty friendly,” Aaron countered.  “They might not welcome me into their swim club, but everyone loves you.  I bet they’d make you an honorary part of their flock.  That could be pretty sweet if they invite you to fly south with them for the winter…”

Holly blushed and hoped that Aaron didn’t notice.  His comment about everyone loving her was totally sweet, but she was sure he didn’t even realize it.

Of course, he was wrong.  Not everyone loved her.  At least not the way she wanted to be loved.

“I’ll be sure to send you a postcard from wherever we end up,” she promised with a chuckle.

“You’re the best,” he told her with a wink as he finished his Snapple.

Holly pulled the emergency bottle of Snapple from her bag, and his eyes lit up. 

“Look at the way his eyes light up when he looks at her,” Martha pointed out as they passed the bench again on their return lap.

“Like I said, they must really love each other,” Mildred replied.

The ladies kept walking, never once giving a passing glance at the ducks.

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The Landscaping Hunger Games

There’s a reason they never arm the writers in movies, Modern Philosophers.

They just let them believe that whole “The pen is mightier than the sword!” idea so that writers don’t go out on the battlefield and injure themselves and then others with friendly fire.

So how in the world did I end up looking like District 13’s tribute in The Hunger Games today as I walked around armed with this scary weapon…

humor, Hunger Games, Modern Philosopher

Yes, I was really roaming around with this weapon today without any adult supervision.  It is a miracle that I still have all ten fingers to type this post!

Of course, I did not set out expecting to have to fight for my life in the arena armed with an instrument which still has no name as far as I know.

I just wanted to go for a run and mow the lawn.   A simple Homeowner’s Biathlon on what turned out to be a gorgeous June day in Maine.  The run went well.  There were lots of emotional support pace ducks in the river the morning to urge me down the path.

When I returned to The House on the Hill, I sadly discovered that no Good Samaritans had showed up to mow my lawn, so I went to work on it while I was still sweaty from my run.

After the front and back lawns were mowed, I decided that I really should trim the hedges that some annoying previous owner had planted all over the property.

Hunger Games, humor, Modern Philosopher

The bushes were out of control because, like all landscaping work around The House on the Hill, I had ignored it because I hated doing it.

But I had purchased a pair of hedge clippers, so I might as well use them.  All was well until I realized that some of the branches on one of the front lawn bushes (I don’t know what type of bush it is, so I’ll just refer to it as George W) were getting a little too close to the power lines that ran into the house.

I’m 6’3″, but George W is much taller.  I tried jumping to reach those elusive branches, but that didn’t work.  I went onto the porch, leaned out as far as I could, and managed to get some of the branches, but George W was just too big and my arms were not long enough.

I contemplated getting a ladder, but I call my domicile The House on the Hill for a reason.  It would not have been safe to climb a ladder placed anywhere along the steep incline of the front lawn.

So I mulled this challenge over in my big brain, and came up with what I thought was a fool proof plan to defeat George W.

I fetched the rake from the garage, and used that to hook the high branches and pull them closer.  The only problem was, I couldn’t operate the hedge clippers with only one hand.

George W wins again!

But that’s when President Snow got involved and my name was called in the Reaping to represent District 13.  I chose that rusty, but sinister weapon from the Cornucopia, and went after those branches like my life depended on it.

Normally, I am not to be trusted with a weapon.  My first thought was that I was going to end up snipping the power lines and electrocuting myself, but somehow, the odds were forever in my favor.  Not only did I trim those branches on George W, but I also took care of a few on George H, the big bush next to it.

I’m just glad I survived the experience and was able to share it with you.

Until next time, stay strong, Panem!

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The Thoughtlessness Of Grass

A friend asked what I was doing this weekend, Modern Philosophers, and I rambled off a few random, but relaxing things.

Then I added that since the grass refuses to stop growing, I really should mow the lawn.

That got me thinking about the thoughtlessness of grass.

grass, humor, Modern Philosopher

Grass doesn’t really care how busy and stressful your week was, how freakishly hot it was, or how all you want to do is abandon all responsibility and just be a lazy dolt all weekend.

No, grass continues to grow.

It can’t stop being so ambitious, and refuses to cease showing off.

Grass insists on being all lush and green, while also blackmailing you into caring for it.  Because grass somehow knows that if you ignore it, your neighbors will get all judgmental and refer to your house as the abandoned one that’s driving down property values.

So even though you hate pulling the cord on the lawnmower, you know you’re going to do it this weekend.

Because grass could care less if you’re exhausted and don’t even want to go outside and face the world.  Grass doesn’t care that there are people out there.  In fact, grass loves all the attention it gets from people.

It wants you out there tending to it because its ego is huge and constantly needs stroking.

And it wouldn’t mind a good raking as well.

Grass gets off on the fact that you have to spend time with it, fuss over it, and make sure it looks good all the time.

If grass were a person, you’d call it high maintenance behind its back.

humor, life, Modern Philosopher

The grass is always greener when you mow it, but if you ignore it, it purposely goes all brown and yellow on you to make your neighbors think you allow dogs to use it as a rest stop.

Grass will shame you into catering to its every whim.

You could ignore the grass, or take it to the extreme and pave over your lawn, but doing that turns you into the neighborhood eccentric, which only brings more attention that you don’t want or need.

As a result, you mow the lawn just so that you can be left alone.  You don’t have to like it, but you do it because the grass always wins.

Its thoughtlessness gives it an advantage that no human can every overcome.

I’m really not sure what I’m doing this weekend, now that I think of it.  Other than mowing the damn lawn…

 

 

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The Chickens Laid Fried Eggs

After a long, uncomfortable, sweltering week, I have finally emerged from my basement bunker, Modern Philosophers.

It was disgustingly hot in Maine this week.  I’d love to go into details about just how hot it was, but this is not a meteorological blog.

I will say this though: Remember that saying about it being so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk?  Well I got so delusional from the heat that I was positive chickens in Maine were laying fried eggs.

storm1

I know what you’re thinking: Austin, you already complain so much about the cold and the snow, so how can you hate the heat, too?

First of all, this is my blog, so I can complain about anything I want.  As long as I do it in a manner that is either humorous, or thought provoking, so as to not upset the blog’s overbearing Board of Directors.

I bet those stuck up suits weren’t a fan of this week’s heatwave!

The thing is, extreme weather conditions bother me.  Right now, there’s a storm rolling in so there is a nice breeze blowing in through the open windows.  I’m in shorts and a tee shirt, and I’m very comfortable.

If the weather could stay right about there, I’d be fine.

I also love football weather.  Give me a brisk autumn day, and I’ll be content.

But when Mother Nature goes to extremes, I’m not having it.  Not only does it make me feel all gross and uncomfortable, but it also messes with my routine.  It was impossible to sleep, I couldn’t go on my runs (because it was too hot and I was too exhausted), and I was even crankier than usual.

I know it’s hard to believe I can reach new depths of grumpiness, but I can set personal records when the weather gets like this.

So I hid out in the basement bunker where people don’t have to deal with me (an exciting twist since I usually don’t want to deal with people) and it is much cooler.

Because sleep was still eluding me, I finally resorted to taking Melatonin.  It always helps me sleep, but the side effect is crazy, vivid dreaming that I can’t seem to shake.

The other night, I had a dream about my ex-wife that felt so real, that when I awakened, I expected to find her in bed next to me and a wedding ring on my finger.  It took me a good five minutes to convince myself I’ve been divorced for a very long time, and The House on the Hill was no longer haunted by her presence.

Maine, heatwave,

So I have emerged from the bunker because the thermometers told me the weather was more acceptable, and the barometers promised a storm.  Yes, I have multiple thermometers and barometers in my basement bunker.  You’re the one who’s weird because you can’t say the same.  And you probably don’t even have a bunker.

The weather report looks promising, so I plan to be above ground for the weekend.  But I don’t intend to do much more than catch up on sleep, remember how to run again, do a ton of writing, and watch baseball.

I hope things are cool wherever you are, but if they’re not, enjoy the fried eggs!

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Running A Slight Baby Fever

“Do you want to have kids?” Holly asked nonchalantly from her end of the bench.

Aaron, who was sitting on the other end of the same bench, spit out the Snapple that he had just sipped from the bottle.

Luckily for Holly, he was facing the water, and not towards her, when he discharged his iced tea with enough force to almost reach the river.

“What exactly did you have in mind?” he asked with a smirk as he wiped his mouth.  “There’s no one around now, but it’s a beautiful day and people are bound to walk by and interrupt us at some point…”

Holly rolled her eyes, but could not prevent herself from laughing.

“You are such a goober!” she chastised him.  “Clearly, I did not mean now or with me.  I was just asking in general.”

short story, humor, Modern Philosopher

Aaron shrugged and took another sip of his Snapple.  This time, he managed to swallow it.

“I’m not sure if you know this about me, but I used to be married,” he said with a straight face even though he was well aware that his best friend knew his romantic history.

To her credit, Holly did not react.  She simply sipped her coffee and waited for him to continue with whatever he planned to say.

“When I was married, I was all about having kids.  I’m named after my Dad, and I definitely wanted to have a little Aaron, III to carry on the tradition.  But we never had kiddos, which was probably a good thing because of the divorce, and now I don’t know where I stand on the topic.  How about you?  What brought this on?”

Now it was Holly’s turn to shrug.  Aaron was her best friend, and she knew she could tell him anything, but sometimes, she hesitated to get too serious.  There was a part of her that worried he might bail on their whole arrangement if things got too real.

But she knew that was her hang up, and she couldn’t hold her own insecurities against him.  After all, he had way more than enough of his own.

“We had a baby shower for one of my coworkers on Friday…”

Aaron nodded in understanding.

flash fiction, writing, Modern Philosopher

“You got a little touch of baby fever,” he diagnosed her with a smile.

“Something like that,” Holly confessed.  “I’m the only woman in the office who doesn’t have a child, isn’t pregnant, or isn’t trying to get pregnant.  Sometimes, I feel like I’m in a reproductive cult and in danger of being expelled from the compound as the outcast.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow to that.

“You’ve been spending too much time with me,” he said with a chuckle.  “That cult comment was awesome, but not something I’d normally expect from you.”

Holly blushed.  “I’m not sure if that makes you a good or a bad influence…”

Aaron took a moment to contemplate that one.

“I’m not sure,” he replied, “but what I can tell you is that if I were a cult leader, I’d never banish you from my compound.”

“You are such a sweet talker,” Holly quipped.  “I don’t understand why you’re still single.”

They both had a good laugh at that, and went back to looking at the river.

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Free Your Face And Your Legs Will Follow

Today was a very important day in Maine, Modern Philosophers.

June 5 will go down as the day that I officially switched over to shorts for my morning run.  This is a huge step that those of you who are from away cannot fully appreciate.

You see, when I finally break down and put the long running pants in storage, it means that I have accepted that it will not snow again and warm weather has arrived.

I’m like Maine’s sweaty, more athletic version of Punxsutawney Phil.

running, Maine, humor, Modern Philosopher

Yes, it has been warm prior to today, but you must remember that I rise at an ungodly hour to get in my run before work.  Most mornings, the sun isn’t awake yet, and it’s often raining or just damn chilly.

I slept in this morning, though, and when I finally did roll out of bed, the sun was shining and it was obviously going to be a scorcher.

So I made an executive decision.

It was time to bless the good people of Maine, and any lucky tourists in the area (I do not discriminate) with a view of my runner’s legs.

Just two days after finally revealing my full face to people at my grocery store, I set my long legs free.

And it felt good.

Even with the cool breeze coming in off the river, it was was still hot and humid.

Maine, running, humor, Modern Philosopher

But I pushed myself to stay out and run longer than planned.

How could I not when I saw all the smiling faces of the people I crossed paths with along the river walk?  They were clearly impressed with my legs, and I could not deny them the opportunity to see them again on the return lap.

Plus, since it was a beautiful, first shorts run Saturday, there were way more people out for a walk than usual.  It wouldn’t have been fair to deny the late risers the chance to check out my legs as well.

Like I said earlier, I do not discriminate.

So the only thing short about this morning’s run were the shorts I was wearing.  I generated a great deal of sweat, burned a ton of calories, and most importantly, really raised spirits in the neighborhood.

This was one of those mornings that reminded me I have to keep running because not only is it good for me, but it’s also beneficial for those around me.

Keep running! 

Posted in Fitness, Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Who Was That Unmasked Man?

Last night, for the first time in fifteen months, I stepped into my local grocery store without a mask, Modern Philosophers!

It’s amazing how wildly the pendulum can swing.  Grocery shopping went from being an annoying weekly chore to a scary “will I catch a deadly plague?” adventure without any warning.

Back when this all started, I wrote a post about my first trip to the grocery store during the pandemic (https://moviewriternyu.wordpress.com/2020/04/06/my-daredevil-supermarket-adventure/).  I tried to make a joke out of the ridiculousness of it all, but I was honestly scared to death to go to the store.

humor, mask up, Modern Philosopher

Things got so bad, that I thought about burning the clothes I wore on that first supermarket adventure.  I didn’t go that far, but everything I wore that day was quarantined in the basement, and washed in a load separate from the rest of my laundry.

I bought so much during that trip that I didn’t have to worry about groceries for another three weeks.  Of course, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t constantly obsessing over all the food in the house, and calculating how long it would last.

It was crazy.

It wasn’t normal.

It stressed me out so much that I lost sleep.

I received my second shot of the vaccine in February, but I’ve still had to wear a mask every time I went to the store.  Or anywhere in public for that matter.

Since I was inoculated, however, I didn’t fear my grocery trips as much.  The three week gap between visits became two weeks, and then I was back to my usual weekly visits.

But on Thursdays because the store was much less crowded than it was on Fridays.

I was vaccinated, but that didn’t make me immune from being an introvert.  I’d still much rather shop when there are less people around to be annoying.

The mask mandate in Maine was lifted two weeks ago, but stores still had the right to require masks.  When I went grocery shopping last week, the mask requirement sign was gone, but I observed that most people inside wore masks, so I wore mine, too.

This week, though, I was ready to take the leap.

I don’t know why I’m still overly cautious.  I mean, I don’t wear a mask anymore when I run, and I pass plenty of people out on the path.

Something about the grocery store tickled my anxiety, though.

And my anxiety is VERY ticklish.

But after a long day at work, where I’m still required to wear a mask, I was in no mood to cover my handsome face in the supermarket.

So I kept my mask around my neck, and entered cautiously.

When alarms didn’t sound, and no one stopped me and told me to put on a mask, my confidence increased.

Dare I even say there was a pep in my step?

As anxious as I’ve been about being around large groups of people during the pandemic, I roamed the aisles calmly as if I were back in the Pre-COVID Days.

I don’t get how my mind works.

But I made it out of the store without incident.

And with ice cream, a whoopie pie, and Snapple.  The makings of a celebration.

The times, Modern Philosophers, they might be a changin’ back to normal…

Does it feel weird to be around large amounts of people without a mask?

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