I See An Ugly Moon Rising: Post-Accident Photos & Reports

The Man in the Moon has been released from the hospital following yesterday’s book signing accident.  The Modern Philosopher Plastic Surgeon Network was able to get us the first photos of the celebrity author, who refused to be interviewed upon discharge.If you recall, Moon was injured yesterday in Austin, TX when a cow fall on him while he was reading from his autobiography “A Cow Jumped Over Me! The Many Faces of The Man in the Moon”.

Well, Modern Philosophers, The Man in the Moon has one more face.  Warning, the one photo we secured of him, post-bandage removal is not a pretty one.  Here it is…

The author, known as quite the ladies’ man in many parts of the galaxy is going to need some major plastic surgery if her wants to maintain that reputation.  For now, he might need to get used to being called Crater Face.

A close personal friend, who is also a renowned plastic surgeon and fellow Modern Philosopher, took one look at the photo and cringed.  Then he smiled.  “It’s going to take an astronomical (he paused for the laughter, which I refused to give him for bad word play) amount of time and effort, but we can rebuild him.  There is no reason he can’t look like his old self again.”

No word yet on whether Moon intends to have plastic surgery, but judging from the way his Moonies are blowing up Twitter and Facebook with their pleas for him to “go handsome” again (see the “before” pic on the left), how could the vain (did I really say that?) celebrity not go under the knife?

One of Moon’s nurses revealed that the author was in good spirits and quite talkative during his brief stay.  His spirits were so high, in fact, that he scribbled out a poem for the RN.  As much as I hate his poetry, I thought I’d print a sample, so his fans can see that he hasn’t lost his touch (yes, that was meant to be very sarcastic).

You gave me shots in my full moon, You bathed my crater face.

You refused to see a dark side, Despite my feeling crescented.

You gently dusted off my moon rocks…

Okay!  That’s enough.  You get the gist.  As for the other party involved in this incident, The Modern Philosopher Investigative Team has discovered that Millicent the Cow only received a few bumps and bruises.  She is trying to keep a low profile, but word around the barnyard is that she has been approached by several tabloid shows (aka gossip galleries) for her exclusive story.  When asked for a comment, all she would say was: “Moo!” We did manage to snap this quick photo before she ducked into a local barn to get milked.

Heads up, Modern Philosophers.  You never know when there might be a bovine bomb descending on you.

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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16 Responses to I See An Ugly Moon Rising: Post-Accident Photos & Reports

  1. You are indeed “milking” this for all it is worth, aren’t you? Ya get any snow from the Hurricane Sandy/ North Easterner precip.? ie: Shoveling snow yet? —Jonathan Caswell P.S.—also check out the blog I share with Ron DuBour—-ourpoetrycorner.wordpress.com. He’s a great guy!

    • We had snow early last week, but rain the following day washed it away. It also helps that the local zombies have taken to eating snow for nourishment…not sure what that’s about, but who understands zombies???

  2. 2zpoint says:

    Hello!
    I do hope that there does not turn out to be litigation due to this matter.I couldn’t imagine the cow having enough to cover… if the Man on the moon sues her hide! Then again, considering the price of milk these days…
    Cheers to you!

    • If anyone is going to sue here, it’s the cow. She stands to make a boatload of money. She can sue the author, his publishers, the bookstore, and the crane maker. I hear Bed, Book & Bovine is already trying to settle with her. Let’s hope she doesn’t milk this for attention and drag out the process…

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