Putting the Reindeer Robot Rumors to Bed

Modern Philosophers, it’s been a long day and I’m about to hit the hay, but I can’t do so without addressing the panicked messages that have filled my inbox since I posted my entry on Donner the Reindeer changing his name (Please see: More Reindeer Games).

I know it’s my own fault for whipping you into an ever vigilant frenzy about the Robot Apocalypse, but I assure you that Donner/Tony was not kidnapped and replaced with a Robot Reindeer programmed to assassinate Santa Claus and kick off the Twelve Days of the Robot Apocalypse.

The reindeer allowed himself to be x-rayed, probed, and have blood drawn to prove that he was beast and not machine.  The North Pole keeps very detailed DNA records on all employees.  Plus, the Wooden Soldiers Brigade has state of the art Robot detection equipment.

The North Pole is safe.  Santa Claus is safe.  Christmas is save.  Mankind is safe.

For now.

I’m proud of you, Modern Philosophers, for sounding the alarm and thinking that the machines had made their move.  There will be a little something extra in your stockings this year to reward you for your efforts.

Remain vigilant because the robots are out there just waiting for their moment to strike. 

This is not that moment, however.

This is actually the moment when I turn off the laptop, move the big black purr ball out of the way, and crawl under the covers.

Sweet dreams, my friends.  May they not be of Robots…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Putting the Reindeer Robot Rumors to Bed

  1. heysugarsugar says:

    Goodness I went to bed, and have woken up to this…Robot Apocalypse, poor Tony/Donner being probbed,, wooden soldier Brigade on a mission..deary me!! and there’s me going to sleep worrying that the Carmine name suggestion might be playing on Prancer’s mind cause he’s dead jealous of this name change publicity! Robots? keep us informed 🙂 Ceri

  2. Maybe, just maybe is Christmas was threatened by robots PEOPLE would start to see the light and recognize the invasion. That is such a badass photo of a reindeer…love it.

    • I agree that people need to open their minds about the threat of the Robot Apocalypse, but I’d hate to see Christmas threatened in order to bring people awareness. I’m hoping this blog will open eyes and minds. I will tell Donner”s…I mean Tony’s…publicits that you like the photo. 🙂

  3. gatesitter says:

    Calm all fears of the Robots, the magic of Christmas snow shorts out their circuits or so I have been told, trusting this is true.

  4. Thanks…I woke up in a cold sweat after dreaming a robot took me over. The last two things I read were this & Tony/Donner. I think your stuff may be too exciting for right before bed… 😀

  5. Austin says:

    Reblogged this on The Return of the Modern Philosopher and commented:

    A post from the Archives about The Robot Apocalypse and The Machines’ attempts to take over Christmas!

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