Modern Philosophers, it’s been a long day and I’m about to hit the hay, but I can’t do so without addressing the panicked messages that have filled my inbox since I posted my entry on Donner the Reindeer changing his name (Please see: More Reindeer Games).
I know it’s my own fault for whipping you into an ever vigilant frenzy about the Robot Apocalypse, but I assure you that Donner/Tony was not kidnapped and replaced with a Robot Reindeer programmed to assassinate Santa Claus and kick off the Twelve Days of the Robot Apocalypse.
The reindeer allowed himself to be x-rayed, probed, and have blood drawn to prove that he was beast and not machine. The North Pole keeps very detailed DNA records on all employees. Plus, the Wooden Soldiers Brigade has state of the art Robot detection equipment.
The North Pole is safe. Santa Claus is safe. Christmas is save. Mankind is safe.
I’m proud of you, Modern Philosophers, for sounding the alarm and thinking that the machines had made their move. There will be a little something extra in your stockings this year to reward you for your efforts.
This is not that moment, however.
This is actually the moment when I turn off the laptop, move the big black purr ball out of the way, and crawl under the covers.
Sweet dreams, my friends. May they not be of Robots…