Gingerbread Boy Reunited with Family; Chocolate Moose to Blame

There is joy on Half Moon Drive this morning, Modern Philosophers!  The Cookson Family, which had been crumbling under the stress brought about by the disappearance of the clan’s youngest member (please see last night’s post missing boy ), now has reason to rejoice!

Young Thad Cookson has returned to the Gingerbread House without a scratch or a bite out of him.

Turns out the precocious cookie decided to play hooky, and went off on an adventure with his friend Gorzak, who had commandeered the family UFO for a little joyride. The lads decided to zip off to the Western Woods in search of the elusive Chocolate Moose, and ended up stranded on a remote logging road when their spaceship experienced engine trouble and lost all communication services.

For those of you not from Maine, the Western Woods are our version of the Forbidden Forest.  Where the North Woods are filled with lovable, friendly creatures from all realms and galaxies, the Western Woods are populated by beings that give Stephen King nightmares.  The place is overrun with Zombies, Sasquatch, and Rabid Werewolves.

In other words, it’s exactly the kind of place that would entice a Gingerbread Boy and a Young Alien seeking to avoid a Math test.

As for the Chocolate Moose, that is a mythical creature specific to Maine.  Yes, it’s hard to believe that in a state that’s home to life forms of all sorts, there would be something classified as “mythical”, but it’s true.  No one has ever actually bagged a Chocolate Moose or managed to sit down with one for a blog interview.  Reportedly, these beasts of solid chocolate appear in the Western Woods every year at midnight on Thanksgiving and disappear by the time the sun sets on New Year’s Day.

Once the boys repaired the damage to the UFO (they reportedly could not figure out why the radio system and distress signal did not operate properly…or so they say!), they flew right back to Brewer.  They had no idea of the problems they had caused, or the size of the crowd that awaited them.

“I’m not going to bite his head off,” Mr. Cookson told me as tears rushed down his face, “but he is going to be punished for this.  I see a lot of snow shoveling in Thad’s future.  Right now, though, I’m just glad my boy is safe.”

The hundreds of neighbors (human and non-human) who had gathered for a candle light vigil, broke into a rousing rendition of “Joy to the World” when Thad was reunited with his loved ones.  They have continued with the Christmas Carols through the night, and the mood on Half Moon Drive can only be described as “euphoric”.

I’m glad I could being you good news first thing in the morning, Modern Philosophers.  The Gingerbread Family thanks you for all the positive Deep Thoughts you sent their way.

Happy Thursday!  Now go out there and take on the world…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Gingerbread Boy Reunited with Family; Chocolate Moose to Blame

  1. Pingback: Blog Award! « granny reports

  2. grannyK says:

    I nominated you for the Blog of the Year 2012 award

  3. There's a frog on my Sprocket! says:

    Blog of the decade is more like it!

  4. Pingback: Return of the Dragons Marks End of Alien Probe Season | The Return of the Modern Philosopher

  5. So relieved that this story had a happy ending…

  6. Austin says:

    Reblogged this on The Return of the Modern Philosopher and commented:
    After reports of last night’s sighting of Maine’s elusive Chocolate Moose, I thought I’d repost this article from last Christmas…

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