Zombie Flash Mob “Thrills” Surprised Crowd in Downtown Bangor

ZombieZombies!  Zombies!  Zombies!  They seemed to materialize out of nowhere.  About two dozen of them.  Suddenly clogging the intersection in downtown Bangor.  People on their way to work didn’t even notice them at first.  They were that stealthy.  This Modern Philosopher, on his way for a bagel, didn’t realize they were there until I looked up from my newspaper.  My hand instinctively reached into my pocket for the stiletto I always carry for just such an emergency.  And then the music started…

It was the popular opening bars of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” blasting from an unseen source.  This got everyone’s attention.  Like me, they, too, reached for their weapons.  And then the Zombies started to dance…

You’re reading me correctly.  It was a Zombie Flash Mob!  The undead began to move in unison, showing off the familiar dance moves Michael Jackson and his Hollywood “zombies” had introduced to us some twenty-five years ago.  The Zombies had not come to feast on us…they’d come to entertain us.

Soon a crowd of about seventy-five people had gathered to take in the impromptu zombie happyperformance.  People swayed, clapped, and sang along to the music.  Smart phones were out recording every Zombie dance step.

When it was over, we all erupted in a wild ovation.  It had truly been an amazing spectacle.  The sort of thing that gets your day off on the right foot.

And then, of course, the crowd launched its attack.  The Zombies were disposed of in a reverse flash mob of gory proportions.   Scores of people moving as a unit in a perfectly choreographed dance of Zombie vanquishing.

I was moved.  Proud to be a Mainer.  Yes, there is Zombie blood on my toga this morning, and I wear it like a medal of honor.  They came, they danced, we killed ’em.

What do you think, Modern Philosophers?  How frightened should we be that the Zombies have displayed an ability to learn?  Or at least to be trained?  Who is behind this?  Was this the first salvo in the next round of the Zombie Apocalypse?  How many of you suspect that somewhere, a Robot is teaching more walkers to dance?

Be ever vigilant, my friends.  The Zombies can moonwalk now, and that can’t be a good sign for the human race…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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27 Responses to Zombie Flash Mob “Thrills” Surprised Crowd in Downtown Bangor

  1. Renchick says:

    LOL – I love that you keep an emergency stiletto in your pocket! 🙂

  2. gatesitter says:

    Deep belly laugh,….Thank you so very much!!!!

  3. Zombies… That’s just awful now cardio alone is not going to keep me safe when the stinking zombie apocolips erupts. Next they are going to do zumba…
    This is becoming a situation I’m stocking up on shotgun shells!

    • Maybe you can give the Zombies bubble gum, it will make their teeth stick together, and you’ll be safe. Ironically, I just posted a new piece on my cardio training. Gotta keep up with the cardio! 🙂

      • Bubblegum is the key… I’m still not getting low on shotgun shells just in case it gets ugly.
        Of course the stelleto to the temple might be handy you Mainites have a good idea with the stelleto. Of course you have more monsters than we do here.
        Mostly just Sasquasch the Abonable snowman and of course zombies and the irritable woodland knomes. Thankful Sasquasch keep the trolls thinned out.

      • Sounds like you guys are busy out your way, too. Those Yeti can be annoying. Maybe you need to bring someone in to try to tame them??? 🙂

  4. So it was like a flash mob mash up of Thriller & Heads Will Roll?

  5. Austin says:

    Reblogged this on The Return of the Modern Philosopher and commented:

    Here’s a classic Zombies post from the early days of the blog. Enjoy!

  6. Storm Navarro says:

    Lol! This was amazing

  7. Kate Lester says:

    I think I may have to re-visit Bangor and not just turn off the highway to go to LL Bean.

  8. 1wanderingtruthseeker says:

    Don’t you think it was a little rude to kill them after they put on such a good show? Anyway, everybody knows that you had to do the double tap. Did you double stab?

    • Austin says:

      It had to be done. The ability to organize into a flash mob was a frightening evolution that we couldn’t allow to go any further. I got my training more from The Walking Dead than from Zombieland, so I just go for the brain. 🙂

      • 1wanderingtruthseeker says:

        Yes, I’m a fan of The Walking Dead, you can pass it on, that I’m also a fan of The Dome. Read the book too. You should have seen the World War Z Zombies, man could they run, but the were still stupid. Movie sucked too.

      • Austin says:

        I think I’m going to wait to rent Z. I read all the articles about the rewrites and production delays, so that’s always a bad sign. But the box office has been good. I don’t like the idea of fast moving Zombies, though. Goes against nature… 🙂

      • 1wanderingtruthseeker says:

        Wait until it’s on rental. But if you must go see it. You have to see it in 3D. Man was that great.

      • Austin says:

        Have you read the book? Would you recommend that?

      • 1wanderingtruthseeker says:

        Naw, I don’t think there was a book.

      • Austin says:

        Yes, there is a book.

      • 1wanderingtruthseeker says:

        Well a book would answer a lot of the questions I had about the movie. I’ll look that one up.

      • Austin says:

        Same here…

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