Me, neither. I’m told, however, that it used to be a regular thing. I guess it was back in the days before people had self-confidence or discovered alcohol as a source of courage for finally trying to get that first smooch.
This Modern Philosopher has never hung mistletoe, nor has he ever kissed or been kissed under the plant. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.
The Mistletoe Board of Directors aka The Mistletoe Mafia (I’m fairly certain they’re the only ones who call themselves that) would like to change the way you think about their product. They would love it if you rushed out to your local florist or feed and grain and ordered a bunch, or a batch, or a handful…however it is they measure mistletoe (Sorry, I really wasn’t paying attention at this news conference!) and used it to decorate your home and office for the holidays.
“I know with sexual harassment rules these days, it might be frowned upon to bring mistletoe into the office,” said someone up at the podium, whose name I’m not going to bother to research. “We’d like to change that, though. We don’t think there’s anything wrong with promoting some innocent kissing in the workplace.”
My immediate thought about that comment was “Well, isn’t it the non-innocent kind of kissing that really leads to promotions in the workplace?” I desperately wanted to ask that question, but I somehow managed to hold my tongue. I know that Santa is watching.
The big announcement was that Mistletoe is going to partner up with Hershey’s Kisses in hopes of increasing sales and making the plant hip again. Basically, they’re sticking some mistletoe in every bag of Christmas Hershey’s Kisses, so if you want the chocolate, you’ve got to also buy the gross green stuff that’s in the package. It’s brilliant, because the Mafia can report that sales have increased, but is anyone really buying mistletoe?
Me thinks the answer to that one is “No!” The only reason I even went to the announcement was because I was promised free chocolate. Of course, I do give them props for making the effort. Everyone else cashes in on Christmas, so why shouldn’t Mistletoe?
What do you think, Modern Philosophers? Does this move reek of desperation? Or are you old school and a lover of the ‘toe? If you’ve got some happy, “smooching under the mistletoe” kind of memories, I’d love to hear them.
The only macking I’m doing right now is kissing goodbye to this bag of chocolate. Send me more, and I promise to write something really awesome about you on my blog…