Someone has been kidnapping and killing department store Santas and then using their skin to make a holiday suit of an entirely horrifying nature.
Jodie Foster plays a wide-eyed FBI trainee brought in by her mentor, Santa Claus, to question a notorious serial killer (a masterful Anthony Hopkins) who might know something about the homicidal suit maker.
Hopkins’ “Hannibal the Christmas Cannibal” was a respected psychiatrist who murdered Christmas Carolers and ate parts of their bodies for Christmas dinner. Santa Claus believes that the new killer, dubbed “Bah Humbug Bill” by the press, was a former patient of the man eating former shrink.
Hannibal won’t speak to Santa Claus, the FBI agent who helped put him behind bars, but Agent Kringle knows that the caged killer will have a soft spot for Foster’s Clarice, who is easy on the eyes and seemingly easy to manipulate.
The sexual tension between the mad doctor and the young agent-in-training is so incredible that one sometimes forgets he is watching a horror thriller. Of course, he then immediately remembers when the action cuts to the dark, dank lair of Bah Humbug Bill. The madman, played by a completely unrecognizable Grinch (the role of a lifetime for the green guy), is unbelievably creepy and will haunt my nightmares for weeks. Bill keeps his prisoners in an old well down in his basement, and constantly insists that they lint brush their Santa suits to keep them soft and fluffy. His latest captive is a powerful Senator’s son, who moonlights as a department store Santa Claus because he thinks it’s ironic.
As the cannibal and the FBI trainee bond, she gets closer to finding the psychopath with visions of flesh suits dancing in his head. With the help of her trio of computer geek friends, dubbed “The Three Wise Men” by Santa Claus, Clarice discovers that she might be more like the man she is hunting than the man who is mentoring her.
“The Silent Night of the Lambs” is, without a doubt, the scariest Christmas movie this Modern Philosopher has ever seen. It is also an amazing flick that deserves recognition come Oscar time. I give it my highest rating of Five Golden Rings, but definitely advise you to leave the kiddos home for this one. Just don’t leave them home alone because there’s a crazed killer on the loose, people!
After seeing this film, I had a much better appreciation for the Holiday and what it represents. I also vowed to never again look with disdain at a department store Santa Claus or a Christmas Caroler.
What do you think, Modern Philosophers? Does this sound like a movie you might want to see while sipping a fine Chianti? Or does it just sound too naughty?
Let me know your Deep Thoughts. I’ll get back to you once the lambs stop their screaming…
The Return of the Modern Philosopher 
Are the department store bell ringers on his hit list too?
It’s just a movie, so I guess I’m overreacting, but then again, those movies are always based on a certain amount of reality, right?
I’m a believer in those certain amounts of reality.
Me, too. All the scripts I write have some basis in happenings from my life…
Love it. Those damn bell ringers. I could ring their bloody necks!
I’ve heard there’s a sequel coming up too! Hannideer!
Well, I think they need to see how well this one does at the box office. I’m thinking it will win some Oscars, make a ton of cash, and they’ll be begging for a sequel.
Great review….I’m just such a chicken when it comes to spooky movies…but the Grinch in a truely evil physco role is so tempting…
I thought he wanted to change his image, but this makes him a whole new kind of evil! 😀
Hello Clarice,
Laughing my head off, just like the guy in the jar did.
Typo alerts: *But* him behind bars . . . again [to] look with disdain
With the help of her trio of computer geek friends, dubbed “The Three Wise Men” by Santa Claus, Clarice discovers . . .
Perhaps “The Lone Wisemen”
I’ll go fix those typos, thanks. I did think of the Lone Gunmen after I typed that line. Thanks, Mulder. 😀
I’d watch it. I dig thriller/suspense/horror movies. Anything to put me on edge and get my adrenaline to kick in and the shock factor, can’t leave that out.
I’ll keep that in mind when I’m writing my next thriller. 😀
And here I thought the Grinch might get another chance to go good. Now it’s certain that he won’t have any gifts under the tree. Everyone will be afraid of losing their skin…or at the very least, their eggnog scented lotions.
It rubs the lotion on its body… 🙂