Victoria’s Secret Announces “Coal for Panties” Exchange for Naughty Girls

Sexy SantaHave you been a Naughty girl this year?  If you can prove it, Victoria’s Secret has a special deal for you.  On December 26th, anyone over the age of 18 who shows up at a Victoria’s Secret Store with the coal they received in their Christmas stocking, can exchange that coal for a free pair of panties.

Why the titillating spin on the Guns for Toys program often used by police at Christmas time to get weapons off the street?  “We thought it would be fun,” Greta von Perfektshun, the manager of the Victoria’s Secret Store at the Bangor Mall, told this Modern Philosopher.  “So much emphasis is put on being Nice this time of year, and we think the women who are Naughty deserve some reward, too.”

Christmas Stocking with coalAll the coal collected will be donated to local homeless shelters and orphanages to provide heat for the less fortunate this winter.  Sounds like a win, win situation to me.  So much so, that I think I might set up shop at the Victoria’s Secret Store at the Bangor Mall on the 26th and do some interviews.  It is my belief that my readers will want a first hand account of how this generous program is going, and I intend to keep you guys posted.  No need to thank me…Christmas is a time of giving.

So what do you think, Modern Philosophers?  Is it okay to reward the Naughty as well as the Nice?  Should Victoria’s Secret be applauded for this innovative program?  Are you thinking about being bad over the next week just to ensure you get some coal and can take advantage of this offer?

Let me know.  As always, I want to hear your Deep Thoughts on this one…


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

56 Responses to Victoria’s Secret Announces “Coal for Panties” Exchange for Naughty Girls

  1. seakist says:

    It’s a cute idea, but honestly, who wants to spend the day after Christmas in a mall? 🙂

  2. Combat Babe says:

    That girl on the not is not a VS model.

  3. Really naughty girls don’t wear panties. Nice try, VS … nice try. 🙂

  4. gatesitter says:

    Am overwhelmed by your willingness to spend the 26th at the mall instead of home playing with your new toys that Santa brought just so we all will have the latest news from VS. Your heart is truely 3 sizes bigger than most. 😉

  5. thesidekick says:

    Deep thought #1- thong or brief?
    Deep thought #2- naughty over nice. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

  6. Reblogged this on theschools and commented:
    They are not naughty but beautiful girls 🙂

  7. soad88 says:

    I dont wear panties………can I get some lotions instead? vouch for me…wait don’t vouch for me you’ll make them give me granny panties.

  8. I think Vicky hasan ulterior motive. The cost of coal has gone up, along with the price of oil. They are also short diamonds for decor on their really high end undies. I think they plan on taking those lumps of coal & crushing them between the cheeks of some of their very well muscled models, hoping they’ll be able to squeeze them into diamonds…all for the price of undies.

  9. Austin says:

    Reblogged this on The Return of the Modern Philosopher and commented:

    Merry Christmas in August! Here’s one from the Modern Philosopher vaults to get your blood pumping and the Deep Thoughts flowing!

  10. Ashana M says:

    I misinterpreted where your article was going from reading the title, and assumed naughty girls could trade their panties for coal. Since even naughty girls get cold, I suppose.

  11. ksbeth says:

    where do they store their coal?

  12. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:

  13. Why did I reblog this? I guess I like looking…and that’s it. Used to get “the thrill” walking through Spencer Gifts at the mall. Don’t need anything more exciting than that…the circuits (my) would blow out for sure. Happy Christmas, anyway!

  14. Louise says:

    what if you live in a really HOT place , like i do, at xmas. Do i need to swap my coal for something else??? They are all so skinny at VS. and the stuff is made at the same factory in taiwan like my Bonds cotton undies; i buy at target.

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