Zeus Announces Contest to Name New God

zeusThis Modern Philosopher received the thrill of a lifetime today when he got to put on his formal toga and take a trip to Mount Olympus for an announcement from Zeus.

Not only does the “Father of the Gods” rarely ever make a public appearance, but he also never allows mortals to set foot on his home turf.   So, I knew this had to be a big deal when Hermes arrived to pick me up and fly me back to the mountaintop.

The members of the media invited to the news conference were given no advanced warning as to what it was about, but no one really seemed to care.  We got to walk around Mount Olympus!

So what did Zeus want?  He’s upset that Greek Mythology has essentially vanished from cultural significance, and inspired by the Norse God Thor’s recent surge in popularity via the movies, decided that it was time to use the world of entertainment to re-introduce the Gods of Olympus to the masses.

“I am pleased to announce a contest to name the newest Greek God,” Zeus told those of us lucky enough to be there for the big moment.  “I have decided that it’s time to introduce a new God into the ranks, and he shall be the God of Social Media.  You get to decide on the name.  Please post your suggestions on our Facebook page, text them to 444-ZEUS, email them to BigZ@gmail.com, or tweet them to @Zeus_is_Loose.”

Zeus and a panel of celebrity judges will review all the entries and pick a winner.  In the event that more than one person suggests the winning name, all those who submitted it will have the opportunity to complete Herculean tasks until a winner emerges.

The winner will meet the new God, receive $1M in gold, get to select one enemy for Zeus to either smite or turn into a farm animal, and spend three weeks in the Greek Isles on an all expenses paid dream vacation for two.

How could you not be excited about this?  I’ve already submitted seven names and my fingers are crossed.

What do you think, Modern Philosophers?  What would you name The Greek God of Social Media?  Are you planning on entering the contest?  Do you think Greek Mythology should become hip again?  Which Greek God is your favorite?

Time to send the formal toga to the dry cleaners and do a little more brain storming on potential entries.  I look forward to hearing your Deep Thoughts on this one…


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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in blog, Entertainment, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

267 Responses to Zeus Announces Contest to Name New God

  1. hannahgivens says:

    Zeus’s handle being “@Zeus_is_Loose” is the best thing I’ve read all day. :D

    • Austin says:

      Thanks, Hannah. This was the first of my posts to be Freshly Pressed. It’s a personal fave and Zeus has become a popular character on the blog. Email him some time. :)

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