The Bangor City Council today voted unanimously to deny Dr. Victor Frankenstein’s request to build his new state of the art laboratory on the abandoned lot next to All Soul’s Cemetery. The lot, which has long sat empty, has been a tough parcel of land for the city to sell, so this Modern Philosopher was shocked at the decision. I decided to cross over the bridge into Bangor to investigate.
Surprisingly, none of the City Council members would go on the record with me for the story. They were all willing to give me some information as long as I didn’t attribute a name to a specific comment. Everyone seemed frightened to talk, which only made me more suspicious that something wasn’t quite right.
“His proposal never sat right with us from the beginning,” Council Member A began. “He kept talking about all the jobs and new residents his lab would bring to the city, but he refused to be specific as to exactly what would be going on inside the building.”
“Have you seen the plans?” Council Member B pretty much screamed at me. “Dr. Frankenstein refers to his new lab as state of the art, but look at the rendering. It’s nothing more than a decrepit old castle, and he wanted to attach giant lightning rods to the top of it. That’s just ugly.”
“What bothered me the most,” confessed Council Member C, “was his constant use of the term ‘reanimate’. Frankenstein kept saying the lab would reanimate the economy and reanimate interest in Bangor as a tourist destination. It just gave me the creeps.”
“And why the insistence on building on the lot next to the cemetery?” A asked me later in our conversation. “Sure, we’d like to unload that piece of land, but there a bigger, less run down, more properly zoned lots available in more inviting locations. I don’t know, it just rubbed me the wrong way that the only place he would even consider was next to a graveyard.”
All interesting points, but this Modern Philosopher doesn’t see any of them as deal breakers. In this economy, a city like Bangor needs to jump on a deal like this. I went to talk to the good doctor, and was lucky to catch him just before he was driven out of town.
“I do not understand why they rejected my plan,” Dr. Frankenstein told me as he shook his head and stared off at the horizon. “It would have brought so many new jobs, so many new people, and truly reanimated the economy. Sure, the building itself might not be the most attractive, but the design is in honor of my family’s castle back home. Since it was going to be next to the cemetery, I thought it would look perfect there. Think of the amazing Halloween parties I would have hosted every year…”
“Men of science are so often misunderstood,” he said sadly as he shook my hand and his hunchbacked assistant loaded the last of his master’s bags into the back of the SUV. “I would have done great things for Bangor, things that people would still be talking about centuries from now. Now, I guess I will just have to do those things in Vermont or New Hampshire. It’s Maine’s loss.”
With that, he got into the back of the mighty vehicle and was gone. I think it was a monster of a mistake for Bangor to not let Dr. Frankenstein build his laboratory here, but I live in Brewer, so my opinion doesn’t really matter much to the City Council.
What do you think, Modern Philosophers? Do you think this was another case of politicians making a stupid decision? Do you see any problems with Frankenstein wanting to build his lab next to the cemetery? Wouldn’t you want to go to a Halloween party thrown at a spooky castle/lab built next to a cemetery?
I just having a feeling that Frankenstein is a name we’re going to remember forever…