President Obama stunned the White House Press Corps today when he made a surprise announcement about his new idea for fighting racism. “As you know, I have already made amazing strides against racism in our country by becoming the first African American to be elected President, as well as being the first African American ever re-elected to that position,” the Commander in Chief reminded the assembled body of reporters. “I think it’s time to do even more, and since I cannot be elected to a third term, I came up with an idea that’s almost as exciting.”
“We’re going to paint this building, and we’re finally going to change its name to something far less racist and more representative of the elaborate mosaic that is the United States of America.”
My sources tell me that there was dead silence in the room after the announcement. The President looked around, saw the looks on the faces of the Press Corps and then flashed his most charming smile. “Don’t worry,” he told them in his most reassuring voice. “When I said we’re going to paint this building, I didn’t mean you guys had to do it.”
This earned the President a standing ovation. When asked about what color he planned to paint the residence, the President replied, “Given the current state of the economy and this sequester, my choices might be limited to whatever is on sale down at the hardware store.”
As for his ideas on a new name for the house on Pennsylvania Avenue, President Obama was non-committal. “That’s something that I’m going to have to discuss with my advisers, my Cabinet, Michelle, and my real estate agent. Joe Biden thinks he should get to do the renaming because he plans to live here for another eight years after I’m gone, but I’m a little worried at some of the suggestions he’s already tossed my way.”
The President would not reveal the names offered by his Vice President, but my sources told me that he did deliver the line about Biden planning to live there for another eight years with a straight face.
So what do you think, Modern Philosophers? If you were in charge of painting and renaming the White House, what would be your plan? Had you ever considered that calling it the White House was racist? Do you think the next President would really allow Joe Biden to live in the place for eight years?
I like forward to reading your comments. Hail to the Chief for creating jobs for local college kids looking to make a little extra money over the summer…