Zom-Be Friends, Maine’s First Zombie Social Networking Site, Slowly Shuffles To Success

zombiesWes Campbell, the founder and CEO of Zom-Be Friends, the social networking site for Maine Zombies, stopped by The House on the Hill this morning to talk about the site’s success…and to try to tempt me into signing up for an account.

“We have over 1,300 members, and we’ve only been live for two weeks!” Wes told me excitedly as he accessed the site on his laptop.  “Zombies have long been a part of life in Maine, and Mainers are so used to their presence that they don’t even flinch anymore when one wanders into their path.  It’s almost as if we’ve just accepted them.  Zombies are a lot like us.”

Well, they used to be a lot like us, but there are some huge differences now, don’t you think?  My guest did have a point, though.  While still a threat, Zombies are nowhere near the danger they once were.  Zombie Hunters have thinned the herd considerably, and every Mainer receives training on how to dispatch a Walker.  The Walking Dead is a work of fiction, folks.  The streets of Maine are not littered with Zombie corpses, and gunshots don’t ring out all day.

Zombie Love“Zombies have been misunderstood for too long,” Wes continued.  “They’ve gone through this horrible change, the life they loved is over, family and friends are gone, people run from them, fear them, and try to kill them.  That’s pretty stressful.  And it can get rather lonely.  That’s where Zom-Be Friends comes in.  We help Zombies find other Zombies with similar interests, or to find old friends from the pre-Zombie days, who have been turned as well.  Zombies can post pictures, send out undead friend requests, and play fun games.  It’s the perfect platform for Zombies to socialize in peace.”

And humans can be on the site, too?  “Of course,” Wes answered with glee as he gave me a quick tour of the site on his laptop.  “The site is divided up into zones: Zombie only, Human only, Uncharted, and The Zombie/Human Harmony Zone, which is really becoming popular.  I’d say about one-fourth of the site’s members are human.”

Really?  “It turns out humans, at least Mainers, don’t fear Zombies like the characters on TV and the movies do,” Wes replied with a chuckle.  “You gotta realize that the reason The Walking Dead is so popular is because people think Zombies are cool, not because they’re watching to pick up tips to prepare for The Zombie Apocalypse.  People want to hang with Zombies, get to know them, figure out what makes them tick.”

Zombie FunSo we might all be sitting down for a Zombie/Human Thanksgiving picnic to celebrate how well we all get along?  “Well, I wouldn’t take it that far,” Wes conceded and smiled.  “I don’t think humans and Zombies should ever eat together because that would be weird and unsettling.  What I’d like to see, though, is for a human’s first instinct to be to wave hello to a Zombie, rather than to reach for that weapon we all carry for that singular, gruesome purpose.”

That last comment got me to generate some Deep Thoughts as I tapped the pocket that held my stiletto.  What he seemed to be saying was that we should give Z’s a chance.

I decided to sign up for Zom-Be Friends and have already had 16 undead friend requests.  I’m feeling very good about my decision.

What do you think, Modern Philosophers?  Do you think that Zombies should have their own social networking site, or do you fear that it will only give them a way to organize and plot The Zombie Apocalypse?  Would you sign up for such a site?  Do you think it would be too forward of me to send out undead friend requests, or should I wait for the Zombies to send them to me?

I can’t wait to hear what you think about all this.  I promise to get back to you, but it might take awhile because I’m having so much fun on this site…





About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Zom-Be Friends, Maine’s First Zombie Social Networking Site, Slowly Shuffles To Success

  1. reocochran says:

    I think we should always choose to be friends with whoever is around! If there are a fair amount of zombies up your way, how can you resist being part of their circle of friends. Definitely would not choose to eat with them nor sit downwind!

  2. Phil says:

    Sometimes I see a lot of zombies walking around NYC. I always wondered how they hook up. There are a few in my office here too!

    FYI – you might not want to go out for ribs with them.

    Phil (The Walking Dead)

  3. grannyK says:

    I would sign up! I’ve been ‘dying’ to try something new!

  4. mudlips says:

    I don’t know what to tell you. Zombies are rare in Oregon, I think the Sasquatch keeps them away.

  5. Eagle Tech says:

    You’d think this idea might be dead on arrival, but it seems to have some life to it. Why not? I mean, if we can lend a hand (not give away and arm and a leg, mind you), I think we should. Giving some of our brainpower to someone else might be the most humane thing we can do.

  6. Luann says:

    I don’t know if I would want to sign up on Unfacebook to socialize with zombies. They walk around like they have lead in their butts.

    • Zome-Be Friends, not Unfacebook. You’re thinking of Eat Your Face Book, a failed earlier attempt at Zombie social networking… 🙂

      • Luann says:

        Silly me. How could I forget. I still don’t think I would socialize with them. Although, I foresee they will progressively become the majority, and there is strength in numbers. However, I dislike the idea of expending energy on something that is dead.

      • Well, we do spend time working on our houses and cars and those things are dead… 😛

  7. grbxxenormyn says:

    maybe you can suggest a theme song for them. what do you think about “I’ve Got You Under My Skin”? 😀

  8. jrosenberry1 says:

    Give Zs a chance …. groan…..

  9. I’m all about it as long as I don’t get non-stop farmville requests!

  10. Perhaps zombies shouldn’t be segregated into their own social site… We should try and integrate them on our all-inclusive Facebook…

  11. Next thing you know, they will want to get married too!

  12. LucyJartz says:

    It takes time to build up a zombie fan base, and you have to be undead too, which is a bit of a setback. 😦

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