Nothing surprising about those results or the fact that beer sales, arrests, and cases of sexually transmitted diseases in those three locations were also off the charts.
What caught this Modern Philosopher’s attention was the paragraph in the study dedicated to students who had purchased vacation packages to travel to Maine for Spring Break. I had no idea such people existed, but according to the report, over 200 college kids who paid to fly to Maine for their break were surveyed.
100% of those collegians were deemed to be idiots according to the blog’s highly scientific formula and detailed research.
“I’m not sure how I got talked into vacationing here,” one student was quoted in the study. “All I know is that it was super cheap, it included a lobster dinner, and promised a Spring Break experience like no other.”
As you can see from a group photo on the left, instead of sunshine and beaches, these future leaders of America got 10 inches of snow and sub-freezing temperatures.
Other interesting numbers from the study: 15% of the students who traveled to Maine for break were admitted to local hospitals for treatment of frostbite (that’s what you get for only packing shorts and bikinis). 30% admitted to crying themselves to sleep at least one night on their vacation. 2% were arrested after trying to sneak into Canada to seek asylum. 94% vowed they would never again return to Maine. 3% were eaten by Zombies.
What do you think, Modern Philosophers? How good could American colleges be if students think Maine is an acceptable Spring Break destination? Are you surprised that only 3% were eaten by Zombies? How much would someone have to pay you before you would come to Maine for a vacation in March?
The House on the Hill does offer very competitive rates for those of you looking for a place to stay during Spring Break next year…