Holy Grail Finally Found…At A Yard Sale In Maine!

Holy GrailThe Holy Grail, believed by many to be the chalice from which Christ drank at the Last Supper, and sought after for centuries by everyone from the Knights of the Round Table to Indiana Jones, has finally been found.

There are various legends about the Grail and its powers, but the one that always stuck with me was that anyone who drank from it would have eternal life.  No wonder the Nazis wanted it so badly!

You’ll never believe where this priceless artifact was discovered (unless, of course, you’ve already read the headline to this article)…at a yard sale in Milford, Maine!

The beat up looking goblet was scooped up by a visiting priest, Father Francis Mulcahy, for a mere 75 cents.  When Fr. Mulcahy returned to his parish in Southern California, one of the church’s historians noticed the item and asked if she could study it.  One thing led to another, and eventually Pope Francis I declared that it was, in fact, the Holy Grail!

“That would explain why my great grandpappy lived to be 135,” Danny Arimathea told this Modern Philosopher when I went back to the site of the yard sale to ask about the famous find.  “Great Grandpappy Joe drank from that cup every day.  Said it was his good luck charm and no one else was allowed to use it.”

KnightsI asked if I could speak to Joe, so I could ask him how he came to be in possession of the Holy Grail that so many others had failed to find for hundreds of years.  Sadly, that would not be possible.  “Great Grandpappy Joe got bit by a Zombie last month,” Danny explained sadly.  “Was the weirdest thing, too.  The second that Walker bit into him, they both exploded.  Ka-Blam!  Ain’t never seen anything like it.  Wicked freaky.”

Sounds to me like the magic of the Holy Grail had an adverse reaction to the bite of the cursed undead.

As it turns out, the yard sale was actually more of an estate sale.  “A man accumulates a lot of things in 135 years,” Danny told me as he discussed the life of Joseph Arimathea.  “If I’d known that old cup was worth something, I would’ve asked for a heck of a lot more than 75 cents for it.”

Thankfully, The Holy Grail is in much more intelligent hands now.  I wonder if the new Pope will drink from it.  That would solve the problem of ever again having to hold another Conclave to pick a new Pope.

Just something to think about…



About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Holy Grail Finally Found…At A Yard Sale In Maine!

  1. Gardengirl says:

    Hilarious! Father Mulcahy is my favorite priest too!

  2. fitzythird says:

    I am your king!
    Woman: Well I didn’t vote for you!
    Arthur: You don’t vote for kings!
    Woman: Well ‘ow’d you become king then?
    (holy music up)
    Arthur: The Lady of the Lake– her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite,
    held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by
    divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why
    I am your king!
    Man: (laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords
    is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power
    derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some… farcical
    aquatic ceremony!
    Arthur: (yelling) BE QUIET!

  3. Like the Monty Python pic/reference 😀

  4. kodonivan says:

    This was great! I always enjoy your posts. I also “got” the Father Mulcahy reference.

  5. it is both scary and entertaining to see where your mind goes sometimes

  6. I recently posted a photo of a wicked, lovely mushroom that was hanging out in my backyard (amanita muscaria…a.k.a Fly Agaric).
    Oddly enough, when I started searching the internet to find out more about this mushroom—-I came across some interesting rumors about it. Some people think this type of particular mind-bending “shroom” is the Holy Grail. Really?! No kidding.
    If this is true, there are probably a few people who died drinking from this “cup.”
    Also, if this rumor is true, then the chalice that was found in Milford Maine at the yard sale–isn’t the right one and was probably worth about .75 cents after all.
    AND the search goes on……. 🙂

  7. Eagle Tech says:

    Gawain will be SO disappointed.

  8. List of X says:

    I don’t know how can one ever verify that the chalice was indeed the Holy Grail. But did they at least make sure that the chalice does not have a “Made in China” sticker?

  9. filbio says:

    If Monty Python says it’s so I believe it! Heck, you have zombies there, so why not the most important cup in history?

  10. Pingback: The REAL Last Crusade: Nazi search for the Holy Grail which inspired Indiana Jones « vineoflife.net

  11. I think God sent the zombie to kill that guy because he was so selfish—so selfish, he wouldn’t even let his offspring drink of it. What an unworthy dork! And my secret wish is that Klinger would drink of eternal life.

  12. yasniger says:

    Reblogged this on Yas Niger and commented:

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