Help Wanted: Dream Interpreter (Must Like Togas)

Mona LisaI’m thinking it might be time to expand the staff of this blog.  I will continue to write all the silliness that gets posted here on a daily basis, but I think I need to hire someone to help me to interpret my dreams.

I have the strangest movies play out in my head every night, and I’ve mentioned before that I often use ideas from my dreams in my screenplays.  So that got me to thinking that if I better understood my dreams perhaps I could use them more in my writing.  Even cooler idea…if I understood what my dreams meant maybe I could learn how to manipulate my subconscious into providing me with better sleepy time movies in the future.

Perhaps the comments section of this post could serve as part of the job application process for those of you who are interested in the position.  I must warn you, it does not pay well and you will have to wear a toga to work.

I’ll share last night’s dream and see if anyone can tell me what it means…

jackhammerIt started with me being in my bedroom, furiously trying to nail the Mona Lisa to the wall above my bed.  Not a replica of the famous painting, mind you, but the actual one straight from the Louvre.  I’m not sure how I got my hands on it, but I was obsessed with hanging it above my bed, and I was trying so hard to nail it properly.

I couldn’t get it right, though, because I was being distracted by the sound of a jackhammer out in the parking lot of the building next to The House on the Hill.

Who the heck jackhammers in the middle of the night?  I went to the bedroom window and looked out to discover this woman going to town on the blacktop of the parking lot with a huge jackhammer.  She finally noticed me trying to get her attention, but all she did was smile at me, and then go back to work demolishing the concrete.  It’s a huge parking lot, and she seemed intent on ravaging all of it, so I gave up on the Mona Lisa project and headed downstairs.

dancingWhen I got to the living room, I found the table filled with travel brochures about visiting Virginia.  I’ll give you a little hint here, job applicants…my family lives in Virginia and I haven’t visited them in forever.  So that part of the dream might be easy to interpret.

I finally sat down on the couch, kicked the Virginia brochures out of the way so I could put up my feet on the table, and in a real trippy move, I fell asleep in my dream and dreamed that I was dancing out on the lawn with The Girl Who Likes To Boogie.

What does it all mean?  Am I going insane?  Do I eat too many spicy foods before dinner?  Does my mind just never stop creating bizarre material for me to use on my blog?

I’d love to read your interpretation of that dream, and if you’re serious about applying for the position, be sure to indicate it in your comment.

Sweet dreams, Modern Philosophers.  May yours not come anywhere close to approaching the level of zaniness of mine…


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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33 Responses to Help Wanted: Dream Interpreter (Must Like Togas)

  1. queenlorene says:

    Easy–you have erected a pedestal of perfection to your One and Only. Now, instead of in your arms, she is locked away from you in the epitomy of perfection, the Mona Lisa. Note how carefully you are trying to get her perfectly centered over your bed. The confusion and jackhammering and demolition is how this long distance relationship has shattered your ordered life and you are practically schitzophrenic over it. You are so homesick for her that even your family has joined the party. So sorry Austin, you have a sensitive, creative, amazing mind, and this dream screams of loneliness and loss. PS: Do I HAVE to wear a toga? It’s not my best ME. PSS: On another level, I have a sleep disorder, and don’t REM enough to really dream or remember them. So I am envious (sort of).

  2. ioniamartin says:

    My interpretation is that you have been eating too many peeps and chocolate lobsters before bed and you are so sugared up that your brain is having a rather psychedelic experience. Or you’re just mad as a hatter. Either way it is fun to read.

  3. grannyK says:

    I think queenlorene said it wonderfully.

  4. I also think queenlorene said it wonderfully.
    Not a good idea to try to nail the Woman of Your Dreams to the ceiling above your bed though. Women don’t like that very much.
    She must be away doing something that she needs to do.
    So, she’s not trying to break things apart, even though you see a jackhammer.
    And, in the dream, the lady with the jackhammer smiled at you. She’s not angry or upset. So there really is no problem. Not to worry.
    Might not want to visit Virginia right now though….it snowed last night and this morning.
    I think you’ve had enough of that

  5. Drops of Ink says:

    I agree with queenlorene. She gave a very astute observation of your dream. 😉

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  7. I have a different interpretation, but maybe that’s because I’m very literal when it comes to dreams. I think that you’re obsessed with creating perfection in your own home, hermit-like, fixated on building it by yourself, and you’re missing that life is happening right outside your window. Creative destruction (i.e. destroying something to build something new) by Woman, the feminine energy of the universe, is pulling you out of your fixation and encouraging you to move beyond the House on the Hill. With that energy moving you, you’re inspired to visit your family and re-establish those connections. And when you do, you’re bringing the combined energy of your and your Girl Who Dances In Your Arms with you. She’s changed you for the better, turning you into a dancer (and runner 🙂 ) who can perform in public out on the lawn, unafraid of what the neighbors will think.

    So. Time to book your trip to Virginia, regardless of the interpretation, I think :).

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  9. drishism says:

    I have enough trouble interpreting reality, so I cannot apply for your Dream Interpreter job. When I first saw your web address months ago, I read “moviewriternyu” this way:

    Movie Writer n’ Yu (properly pronounced “Movie Writer and You”). And I was like, wow, that’s really friendly. We, the audience, get to follow along with Movie Writer’s adventures because movie writer has invited us along, “Movie Writer N’ You.”

    Marley and Me, Movie Writer N’ Yu … it makes perfect sense.

    But then, you know… after reading it for a while I was like… maybe it means “Movie Writer NYU.” My second interpretation makes more sense, but once I mislearn someone’s name… they normally stay the name I mislearned. So, in my mind this site will always be Movie Writer and You.

  10. Lauren says:

    Clearly you have far cooler dreams than I ever do, but from what it sounds like, you seem to have some issues with the ladies. The Mona Lisa is something different and exotic. If you take her out with you, she will always be a topic of conversation and bring you attention, but she wont suit you in the long run. You try to get her to be the one to stay and be the perfect addition to your home but she just wont cooperate. She keeps escaping from your perfect scenario. So you get distracted by the woman outside. Now she is something you want and you may not even know it yet. She will definitely shake up your world and sometimes you wonder what she is even doing there, but you are drawn to her. She may be unconventional but you still subconsciously want to take her home to mom and dad. Hold onto a girl like her. She knows how to handle herself and you wont need to worry about keeping her on a shelf so she wont get broken.

  11. Marco says:

    Dreams come through the multitude of business..ohh, that parking lot that you so much see as torn up with a jackhammer, might just be that you constantly travel it day in day out. busy busy busy is your life. And women my friend will turn our wheels & drive us crazy…remember i’ve got seven women on my mind by the eagles? many have been put to death be her grip. She might be beatiful, delicate or perfect in shape or size …. but she can cause damage. Togas? Gladiator-the counsel togas…hahahaha craziness

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