Zombies Ask: We Rose From The Dead, Too, So Where’s Our Holiday?

zombiesThe Zombie social networking site, Zom-Be Friends, has been alive with chatter today about the Easter holiday and the eternal question as to whether or not Jesus was the first Zombie.

Zombies are understandably upset about the fact that they are treated like outcasts and hunted like animals, and yet, Easter is all about someone rising from the dead and being welcomed by society with open arms.

“We’re not asking that they start a religion around us,” Z-DogWalkin posted on his profile page.  “We just want one day where we’re treated special, people sing songs about us, and maybe there’s a stop motion animation special.  Is that too much to ask?”

“Would Rick Grimes shoot Jesus in the head if they crossed paths?” WalkingDeadH8er posted on a message board.  “The only difference between JC and us is that his father had connections!”

EasterI am not at all condoning the messages the Zombies are posting (especially not what WalkingDeadH8er had to say about the difference between Zombies and Jesus) or championing their cause, but in the spirit of Easter, I thought I would blog about it and get their opinions out there to a larger audience.

What do you think, Modern Philosophers?  Do the Zombies have a point?  Do they deserve a holiday of their own?  Are they wrong when they say that Jesus was the first Zombie?

I hope the nuns don’t get mad at me for this post.  I’m just trying to spread a little Easter cheer to everyone…even to those who prefer brains and flesh to chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps…

Happy Easter!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

49 Responses to Zombies Ask: We Rose From The Dead, Too, So Where’s Our Holiday?

  1. Ashana M says:

    Ah, see the thing is lots of people have risen from the dead: Lazarus, Osiris, some very unsettling corpses in coffins… You have to be the son of God and be capable of forgiving sin and saving people from hell to get your own holiday.

    Sorry, Zombies. The maggots are getting to your heads.

  2. Zombie Easter sounds like a screenplay waiting to be written.

    Happy Easter. 🙂

  3. Haha this made me laugh so much!!!!!! Very clever never thought about Jesus being a zombie but I suppose when you put it like that…….
    Zombie holiday would be amazing!!!!!! Just think of the food and games.

  4. Lol, thanks for the like on my blog.
    I agree that zombies should have their own holiday.

  5. jacobian says:

    Rick Grimes would shoot everything that stand in his way.

  6. EagleAye says:

    What the Zombies need is a mascot to get the holiday started. Christmas has Santa claus and Rudolph. Easter has an egg laying bunny. For Zombies, They need something catchy and interesting. Maybe a vulture that gives birth without conception or perhaps a Rottweiler that leaves candies behind after tearing a limb off?

  7. Ned's Blog says:

    You make a good point. Personally, I think a zombie holiday is a no-brainer.

  8. Austin, just talked with Sister Mary Merciless and the nuns are mad at you…you bold and brazen article!

    • Austin says:

      When I woke up this morning, I had no internet access or TV because the cable was out. I think God was sending me a message…”No blogging for you, Funny Boy!” 🙂

  9. Hey Austin,
    Thanks you for your post, answer however you want. you may include descriptions of weapons, firearms, vehicles, and shelters in your answer.
    I’ll be back to read more next time

  10. Very fair question, zombies!

  11. Z-Day should be in the winter to minimize the smell.

  12. JA says:

    Good post. Don’t know if zombies need a holiday but this was a good read nonetheless.

  13. Pingback: My Top 5 Things About Easter | The Return of the Modern Philosopher

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