At the keg party that followed the announcement, Governor LePage told this Modern Philosopher: “Maine has always been at the back of the pack when it comes to national news. I wanted to get us back into the spotlight, and I knew that this new law would be exactly that. Let’s finish this chat over a game of beer pong!”
According to Kim Rodgers, the member of LePage’s staff who drew the short straw and had to remain sober to talk to reporters, the decision to lower the state’s drinking age was made with an eye on boosting the economy. “We did extensive research and discovered that college kids love to drink. The Governor realized that if Maine lowered the drinking age, we’d be swamped with college kids looking to buy alcohol and get drunk. Not only would that be a boost for our bars, restaurants, and stores, but our law enforcement agencies would also see a rise in income from the increase in tickets written for public drunkenness, lewd behavior, etc. Changing the law was a no brainer.”
A quick poll conducted after the announcement showed that Governor LePage would now receive 97% of the 18-20 year old vote in the upcoming Gubernatorial Election.
Mayor McCheese, until now considered to be the frontrunner in the 2014 election, was infuriated by the new law. “The National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984 makes the setting of the drinking age a Federal mandate,” McCheese told me via phone during a stop on the campaign trail. “LePage can’t just decide to lower the age. This is a stunt to give him a boost in the polls. I’ve spent my entire adult life working for a clown, but Paul LePage has now proven himself to be King of the Clowns!”
As I write this, Gary the Gargoyle has just returned to The House on the Hill to tell me that traffic is backed up for miles on I 95 with vehicles packed with college kids eager to get their hands on Maine alcohol.
So what do you think, Modern Philosophers? Was this a smart move on the part of Governor LePage? Do you think he really cares about the state’s economy, or is he just looking to get himself re-elected? What is your state doing to celebrate National Beer Day?
I’m going to go against convention and grab myself a Snapple before I read your comments on this news…