The Aliens of Maine, who value Mothers just as much as we do, threw a wild party today for all Maine Moms on the Arkavian Mothership, which hovers high above Northern Maine.
The Mothership, which brought the first Alien settlers to Maine during the Great Arkavian Civil War, recently hosted a gathering for Mayor McCheese’s Gubernatorial campaign.
For this celebration, however, there were no fast food burgers and fries, no political speeches, and no men…unless they were working as waiters or bartenders. Of course, this Modern Philosopher managed to be the exception to the rule, and was asked to tag along to write about the festivities.
“Arkavians have long been a matriarchal society,” explained Commander K’ya Vlaasto, who gave me a tour of her enormous spacecraft during the party. “There was no holiday similar to Mother’s Day back on our home world, so when we learned about it here, in our adopted home, we knew we wanted to embrace it. Arkavians celebrate it as if it were akin to our Great Feast to the Volcano God, who is the creator of all life on our planet.”
Once the Arkavians made a big deal out of Mother’s Day, all the other Alien races in Maine followed their lead. This is the first year, however, that the Mothership has been open to humans for the big day.
“We just felt it was right,” Commander K’ya told me. “Mainers have accepted us like we were born here, rather than treating us like we were from away. You have opened your world to us, so we wanted to return the favor and invite your mothers into the closest thing we have to our original home.
Modern Philosophers, this was quite the party. Tens of thousands of women were gathered in the giant Grand Hall of the Mothership, which was tastefully decorated in pinks and purples, which just so happen to be the colors of the Arvakian Rebellion. There must have been close to a quarter of a million balloons, enough crepe paper to decorate 5,000 proms, and more flowers than any botanical garden could ever hold.
And the Maine Moms were having an amazing time. The music was pumping, women were dancing, and everyone had a drink and a smile.
“We have figured out how to use Alien technology to make stronger, tastier alcohol that has none of the lingering after effects humans are used to,” Commander K’ya volunteered as she handed me the best Margarita I’d ever tasted. “Drink as many as you want because I guarantee there will be no hangover in the morning.”
Aliens are awesome!
This party promises to rage long into the night, but I wanted to file this story now and turn my attention to enjoying the fun while personally wishing a Happy Mother’s Day to every Maine Mom aboard this massive ship.
So even though I don’t have a Mom with whom to celebrate this holiday tomorrow, right now, I feel like every Mom in Maine thinks of me as her son. What a wonderful feeling…
Happy Mother’s Day!
Too bad they didn’t stop in Wisconsin!
Well, they feel so safe and secure here in Maine. Who knows what would happen if they flew over the airspace of any other state…
I’m so jealous of your hangover-free margarita! Greatest use of advanced alien technology EVER
For now. They are working on bigger and better things. If you go back to my Christmas posts, you’ll discover that Alien technology was used to reveal that Grandma wasn’t really run over by a reindeer while walking home on Christmas Eve… 🙂
So I guess it’s not only Mars that needs Moms, eh?
We all need Moms. We all do… 🙂
I have an awesome Aunt, who says I was a brat when I was little but still loves me, does that count?
Sure..
That didn’t sound enthusiastic enough to get us invited onto the mothership, but I’m okay with us party crashing for a chance to celebrate Arkavian style. She acts just like a mom to me, I’m sure they’ll be fine with it.
I wasn’t really clear on what you were asking, so I just replied “sure”…
The moms of Maine should be proud to have a son like you. Enjoy the party!
Thanks. It would be cool if they all gave me an allowance… 🙂
They’ve given you a blog idea.
And your blogs are pretty good.
Sometimes I save a few up and read them all at once for a big hearty laugh– or a gentle prod to get more out of life (by running? I’ll have to get back to you on that one).
Gotta go celebrate.
See you in a few days.
Maybe I’ll put my blog posts in a book someday, and you can read that all at once for a huge laugh. Enjoy your Mother’s Day!
I’d like that. 😀
I might even turn it all into a screenplay. That would be the ultimate plan…
I’d watch that movie, and you could credit us as “tested before a live and undead audience of the Modern Philosopher’s blog readers”… which could get my aunt, husband, kids, and dog to watch it along with me.
🙂
you are wrong, you do have a mother, she just happens to be, like mine, no longer alive, except in our memories. happy mothers day to all those who are mothers, have mothers, and came from mothers )
Aww thanks. According to my new post, The Pope has done something amazing to honor all Moms… 😉
Reblogged this on snoozeyalose and commented:
Wow! Koool!!! Thanks for sharing.