Pope Francis Nominates All Mothers For Sainthood

PopePope Francis celebrated his first Mother’s Day as head of the Catholic Church by announcing that he has nominated every mother in the world for sainthood.

The quarter of a million faithful who were gathered in St. Peter’s Square to hear the Pontiff’s Sunday Blessing, responded to the announcement enthusiastically with thunderous applause.

“My advisers tell me that they probably will not be able to make a billion new saints, but I had to at least make the effort,” The Holy Father explained to this Modern Philosopher via Skype after the announcement.  “Mothers do so much for us, they give us life, they protect us, they love us, and most of all, they put up with us.  They deserve to be recognized as the saints that they truly are.”

Saint MomThis isn’t the first time the new Pope has made a big splash on a holiday during his short tenure in office.  On St. Patrick’s Day, he opened up the Vatican for an epic housewarming party that will most likely be included should they ever decide to add a Newer Testament to The Bible.  For Easter, he had award winning author Dan Brown design the largest Easter Egg Hunt in the history of Vatican City, if not the world.

“What can I say, Austin?” Pope Francis responded with a hearty chuckle when I asked him about his tendency to go big on holidays.  “Where I am from, every holiday is an opportunity to celebrate life.  I want to drag the Catholic Church, kicking and screaming if need be, into the twenty-first century.  Let’s party.  Let’s live it up.  Life is too short, and every moment of it must be savored.  God gave us the gift of life, and I do not believe He wishes for us to squander that amazing gift.”

Mothers around the world, regardless of their religious affiliation, were moved by the Pontiff’s gesture.  Has the man picked to lead the Catholic Church finally found a way to ensure that people of all religions get along?

happy-mothers-day“If that were to be a result of this announcement, then that is just the icing on the cake,” Pope Francis answered with a smile.  “I had no ulterior motives here, however.  I truly believe that all mothers are saints, so I just wanted to make it official.  I understand that Church policy might prevent that from actually happening, but I wanted the mothers of the world to know how I feel.  Pope Francis thanks you all and wishes you a blessed and happy Mother’s Day!”

A Vatican spokesperson later announced that the Pope’s nominations would go through the same process as any other, but it just might take a little longer given the enormous number of candidates he put before the Canonization Committee.  They hoped to have a decision before the end of the Summer.

The Pope just gave all the mothers of the world the gift of sainthood.  What did you get your Mom?  Do you think your gift tops the Pope’s?  Would your Mom be tougher to deal with if she were officially recognized as a saint in the eyes of the Catholic Church?

Happy Mother’s Day to all!



About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Pope Francis Nominates All Mothers For Sainthood

  1. queenlorene says:

    I gave my mom a hug. A simple thing, but something that many people aren’t able to do on mother’s day or any other day. Connection is the most powerful gift of all.

  2. alison says:

    I have long had the goal to someday achieve saint hood. Not joking, well I have grown out of it actually but when I was a fair lass, I most wanted to be a saint, like Joan.
    Motherhood isn’t on my list of goals, so I need to find another way..
    The new Pope is cooler than penguins

  3. ksbeth says:

    my daughters noticed that i have asked for a pile of dirt each year for 3 years. my fantasy gift.

  4. Austin says:

    Reblogged this on The Return of the Modern Philosopher and commented:

    Happy Mother’s Day! Every mother in the world is a saint in my book, too! Hope you all have an amazing day!

  5. It’s lovely of the Pope to allow the Catholic Church to honor one segment of womanhood.

  6. Wow, that’s amazing!

  7. Teela Hart says:

    Kudos to the Pope! 😀

  8. Pingback: Things That Made Me Go "Hmm..." - Week 27

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