Modern Philosophers, we are now living in a world where it isn’t truly a holiday unless Pope Francis is throwing some sort of party to celebrate!
The Pontiff announced his plans to turn St. Peter’s Square into one huge hot wing buffet for any Dad in the world who wants to show up to celebrate Father’s Day in style.
“We are going to set up giant video screens throughout the square,” Pope Francis explained to me via Skype. “On those screens we will broadcast football, golf, the NBA Finals, cricket, and baseball. There will be all flavors of Buffalo wings available and an open bar. We are going to turn The Vatican into one huge Man Grotto.”
As I have previously reported on this blog, the new head of the Catholic Church has rung in every holiday during his reign in style. There was a St Patrick’s Day open house, an Easter Egg Hunt designed by Dan Brown, canonization for every mother in the world for Mother’s Day, and a Softball Tournament for Memorial Day.
“I love to celebrate, Austin, because it brings people of all creeds and beliefs together,” he explained with a giddy smile on his face as he sampled various wing recipes. “What man doesn’t love hot wings, sports, and an adult beverage? Regardless of what these men believe about politics and religion, they can surely agree that wings, sports, and alcohol are delightful, especially when combined.”
It’s extremely difficult to argue with that logic, Modern Philosophers. Not that a good Catholic boy like me would ever argue with the Pope. The nuns would not like that one bit. I do not want to upset the nuns.
So if you are a father, and you can get to Vatican City tomorrow, I highly recommend that you drop by Pope Francis’ Father’s Day Holy Moly These Wings Are Hot Bonanza.
It would be a sin to miss it…
The Return of the Modern Philosopher 
do you know if he is a blue cheese or honey barbecue guy? this would have been an interesting snack to serve at the inquisition, could have combined events to put a friendly spin on it and would not have had to have extra grills. ) ps – if you do not hear from me again, i have been struck by lightning.
I hope he’s blue cheese because that’s what I prefer. Never understood ranch as a dip for hot wings. The Girl and I became addicted to the salt & vinegar wings at a local place, though, and now those are my fave…hope Pope Frankie makes some of those!
In that case I need to cancel dinner reservations because there is no way hubby could turn down hot wings, golf and the Vatican (being the devote Catholic he is!)
Amen! Allowing him to go can be your Father’s Day gift to him… 🙂
LOL…twice? When do I get to go? And don’t say Mother’s Day….
On Mother’s Day, Pope Francis declared all mothers to be saints. Didn’t you read that post, St. Kat?
Must have missed that memo, Bishop Austin…(laughs)
Sounds like someone needs to go backand read that Mother’s Day post! 🙂
Okay, okay…I promise….
The Pope will be happy…
I saw the Pope today in our town’s parade. I’m somewhat sucpicious that it was the real Pope riding in a golf cart…but he had the hat and was accompanied by two nuns. I’m a little disappointed that no one rode their lawnmower in the parade this year like they usually do.
Did you sniff him as he passed. If it was the real Pope Frankie, the pleasant scent of Buffalo wings would’ve wafted off him…. 🙂
I would have had I read this first. Buffalo wings sound delicous right now.
Don’t they? I’m tempted to run out and get some. I miss my favorite wings place by NYU. It was called Pluck U. Great name, right?
I’ll have to look that one up when I get back to NYC. We have no good wing places here. You can get them at the Pizza Hut but they are expensive and not very good. I’m making Eggs Benedict for supper but wings sound much better!
If you do try, Pluck U, let me know!
I started laughing as soon as I read the title. I haven’t even gotten to the story yet!
I hope the content isn’t a let down then… 🙂
Nope! It was a great lead-in to a hilarious story. Next time please ask him how he manages to play sports in his robe, and, more important, what detergent does he use?
I believe he plays in his robe, the same way I play in my toga. As for detergent, I hear the nuns scrub all his garments by hand with Irish Spring…
“Ahhh! But I like it, too”!
🙂
I thought the pope was too busy with the aliens to care about Father’s Day. I wonder if aliens like hot wings.
The Pope never deals with Aliens. He knows they are safe and sound in Maine, where they do not cause any trouble!
Good, as long as they’re in Maine, they won’t be bothering those of us who are sane. 😉
The rain in Maine drivers the natives insane. 😀
I always thought hot wings came from further your resident couch potato… Sounds like maybe those two have formed an alliance….Could this be the beginning of the apocalypse?
Hot wings are from Buffalo, not from Hell. 🙂
Reblogged this on The Return of the Modern Philosopher and commented:
Remember the year Pope Francis set up the huge chicken wing bar in St. Peter’s Square to celebrate Father’s Day? That’s why they call him the Partying Pontiff!
Do you know if they will have the Vatican City Brewery open too?
You’d have to check the Vatican website…