BREAKING: Tim Tebow Crosses Grand Canyon Without Using Tightrope

Tim TebowMere seconds after Nik Wallenda crossed the Grand Canyon via a tightrope, New England Patriots Quarterback Tim Tebow ran across without the use of either the rope or a balancing pole.

“I didn’t need a wire or a net because I knew my Head Coach in the sky had my back,” Tebow told this Modern Philosopher upon reaching safety and giving Wallenda a huge hug and emphatic pat on the back.

He then busted out his famous “Tebowing” pose.

Wallenda seemed slightly befuddled and extremely pissed as the media left him to swarm the former Heisman Trophy winner.

No word yet on why Tebow was even at the Grand Canyon, or why he attempted the crossing.  My sources tell me, however, that the Patriots might have sent their new QB out to the Canyon to rid themselves of the media circus that followed him around last summer when he was a member of the New York Jets.

Bill Belichick, New England’s cranky, poorly dressed coach, is said to be perturbed that Tebow has, once again, managed to draw the spotlight to him.

Tom Brady just laughed when asked for a comment, and excused himself to go be with his hot supermodel wife.

More on this story as information comes in to the blog…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to BREAKING: Tim Tebow Crosses Grand Canyon Without Using Tightrope

  1. He didn’t even have the decency to use a rocket bike like Knievel???

  2. List of X says:

    That Tebow… anything to hide the fact that he sucks as a QB…

  3. ksbeth says:

    Thought maybe they sent him there thinking it might be his final ‘touchdown’ ? No more embarrassing public humiliation.

  4. Running1 says:

    Speaking as a New Jerseyer (although a Giants fan), Jets fans everywhere will appreciate the fact that he’s crossing the Grand Canyon in a Patriots jersey now. Very funny.

  5. Leslie Jo says:

    Austin, I don’t know how you do it, but you consistently have me laughing my ass off because of your brilliance. I’m hoping that one of these days my ass will actually disappear. By the way, this just in: that wasn’t Tim Tebow; it was my brother, Paul.

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