That might be the opening that scrolls across your television screen should you decide to watch the first episode of NBC’s new reality series, “Celebrity Story Swap”.
“We think this is exactly the kind of cutting edge programming that our (limited number of) viewers want to see,” insisted Jack Savage, the NBC Programming Executive who called this Modern Philosopher out of the blue and begged me to write an article about his new show. “We’re going to take characters from popular movies, books, and TV shows and have them swap places for a week.”
“That’s exactly it,” Savage exclaimed. “Do you mind if I use your description? That’s way better than what we were able to come up with…”
As much as it pains me to say this, given how horrible NBC’s lineup has been over the past few years, this actually sounds like a show I would watch. Tell me more about this show while I grab us a couple of Snapples.
“We cannot wait to put McLovin into Star Wars,” my new buddy continued as he took a sip of the drink made from the best stuff on Earth. “Can you just imagine that crazy kid suddenly in charge of the Death Star, working to track down and quash the Rebellion, and trying to be all bad ass about it? That’s going to make people wet themselves!”
“Try to picture McLovin using The Force to make Princess Leia’s top burst open or using the giant laser on the Death Star to shoot asteroids out of space like he’s in his own personal video game. And how many dick jokes do you think he’d make about his lightsaber? You could turn that into a drinking game, which I think would become all the rage with college kids and Star Wars geeks!”
He really was on to something! Why in the world hadn’t I, the Star Wars and Superbad fan, come up with this idea on my own? The Force is not strong in this one.
“And then there’s the other side of the coin,” Savage reminded me as he jumped up off the couch to act out the scenes he was going to describe. “Darth Vader following the hot chick down the hall while staring at her thong through her white pants, Vader wanting to deal with the guy who punches him in the liquor, but realizing he no longer has access to The Force or his lightsaber, and best of all, Lord Vader driving around with Bill Hader and Seth Rogen. Comic gold. Bow chicka wow wow…”
After that, The House on the Hill was filled with laughter and empty Snapple bottles as we worked through all the possibilities. Darth Vader dancing at the party, McLovin engaged in the lightsaber duel with Obi Wan, Darth Vader wigging out while “Panama” blasts on the soundtrack, McLovin trying to blow Luke Skywalker out of the sky in the climactic dogfight at The Death Star. The list goes on and on…
“We’re hoping that this initial Story Swap gets audiences hooked, and then we plan to go bigger and better,” Savage promised after we’d finally settled down again. “We’d love to swap characters from Dickens with those in the Dune novels. How about Tom Sawyer and Iron Man? Any Tarantino character and a Disney character. Who’s going to pass up on a chance to watch that?”
Not me, Jack Savage! This Modern Philosopher will be glued to his TV on Thursday nights this Fall. Looks like NBC’s Must See TV is back!
What about you, Modern Philosophers? What Celebrity Story Swaps would you like to see? Do you agree that this is the greatest Reality TV idea ever? Who’s coming to The House on the Hill for weekly viewing parties?