While the movie world was still abuzz with the news that Ben Affleck had been cast as the new Batman in the upcoming Batman and Superman flick, Warner Bros. made another stunning announcement today that turned Hollywood upside down…
They’ve decided to cast the Oscar winner as Superman as well!
That’s right, Modern Philosophers, Ben Affleck will be playing both Batman and Superman in the yet untitled movie that is now sure to be wicked awesome!
This Modern Philosopher flew out to the Land of Beautiful People to get the scoop firsthand.
“After we watched Daredevil again, we realized that it wasn’t the horrible flop so many people thought it to be,” one high level Warner Bros. exec told this Modern Philosopher. “We all agreed that Ben did an amazing job, but red simply wasn’t his color. Then we thought of him in all those black tuxes he wore during Awards Season, and we were convinced that he would look amazing in the Batman gear.”
Yes, Modern Philosophers, this is how decisions get made in Hollywood. Ben Affleck looks good in a tux, tuxedos are black, Batman’s costume is black, therefore, Ben Affleck would make a perfect Batman.
But why did they decide to give him the role of The Man of Steel as well? “The budget was already astronomically out of control, and we figured if Ben played both parts, we could save some money.”
That actually makes sense.
The plot of this upcoming, Ben Affleck double headliner is still a big secret, but my source at the studio was willing to leak me some details because he knew that I was a screenwriter and wanted my input. “Now that Ben has been cast, the movie will definitely be set in Boston. That’s a no brainer. What we’re tossing around is a complex plot that has Batman and Superman working to stop an evil math genius from working with the Boston Mob to rob a bunch of banks and Gillette Stadium.”
Hmmm…sounds vaguely familiar, but Hollywood is all about recycling what has worked in the past and serving it up again along with some 3D glasses, a large popcorn, and a soda the size of a an infant’s torso.
Surely Ben Affleck isn’t going to be the only actor in the movie? “Oh, if we thought we could pull that off, we’d give it a shot,” my studio insider told me. “We considered letting him direct, but after he couldn’t even get nominated for his work on Argo, we realized he might not have what it takes to helm a complex, big budget, Summer Superhero flick.”
My guy didn’t want to give up any other casting info, but I finally managed to pull one golden nugget out of him. There’s a very good chance that Jason Lee, who played Affleck’s nemesis in Mallrats and his sidekick in Chasing Amy, will be cast as Robin.
As a huge Kevin Smith fan, I am totally down with that idea.
Speaking of Kevin Smith, what did he think of his old buddy getting cast as arguably the two biggest icons in Superhero History? “It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy,” Smith told me via Skype. “He’s been riding my coattails for a while, so it’s nice to see him trying to make a name for himself. And if that #$%^ doesn’t get me a part in this flick, I will make sure certain pictures from the Mallrats wrap party are made public!”
So what do you think of the news, Modern Philosophers? Does the actor who played the creator of Bluntman & Chronic in Chasing Amy deserve to be cast as both Batman and Superman? Wouldn’t you much rather see him in a Chasing Amy sequel? What ever happened to that cute actress who played Elektra opposite Affleck in Daredevil?