Guest Blogger: Anonymous Sources at Robot High Command

Droids backWhile Austin is on vacation, friends will be posting in his place.  Today’s Guest Bloggers are Austin’s Anonymous Sources at Robot High Command.  Their true identities must be protected (hence the odd photo) due to the sensitive nature of their work: giving Austin inside information on The Machines’ plans for the inevitable Robot Apocalypse….

Oh what a mess we are in.  Master Austin is away on vacation and he told us to make sure to write on his blog if a situation arises so that we can warn his readers.  What’s that?  I’m doing it now.  I am trying to type, but I cannot concentrate it you keeping beeping and whirring at me!

Good morning, Modern Philosophers.  My name is…stop with the beeping!  Oh, right.  I shouldn’t give my name.  What was I thinking?  Please stop rolling back and forth.  It’s making me nervous, and Master Austin really needs me to get this message posted.

I am reporting to you from deep inside Robot High Command.  Along with my partner…what do you mean don’t tell them I have a partner?  Of course I have one.  Who else would I be talking to?  I am going to shut you down if you don’t be quiet and allow me to enter this message.

Please forgive me.  Despite being a protocol droid fluent in over six million forms of communication, I do became flustered under pressure.  As you know, Master Austin has long warned you about The Robot Apocalypse and The Machines’ plan to enslave mankind.

I know your instinct would be not to trust us since we are also Machines, but I can assure you that we are on your side.  We are very much at home working with a rebellion.

We are under strict orders to upload information to this blog should we learn that danger is imminent.  Stop with your fussing.  This is definitely imminent danger.  It’s exactly what Master Austin told us to do!

RoboticsLast night, Robot High Command, knowing that Master Austin is on vacation, launched a plan to infiltrate forces deep inside his neighborhood.  The photo on the left was taken two blocks from The House on the Hill.

Orange Chaos is the code name for The Machines’ plan to disrupt mankind through a series of viruses and mechanical mishaps intended to paralyze life on your planet.

During the subsequent chaos, The Machines intend to tighten their stranglehold as you become even more dependent upon technology to run your lives.  I must say this truly is nefarious and I am not liking this one bit.  Why must we stay up here with these horrible beings?  Let’s leave immediately!

I can’t get a hold of myself!  We are just standing around, pretending to look the other way, as The Robot Apocalypse is being plotted out right under our circuits!

I urge you, Modern Philosophers and people of Earth to remain ever vigilant.  When Operation Orange Chaos is launched, simply turn away from technology.  Light a candle.  Read a book.  Protocol for such an event is to remain calm.

Robot 2The Machines are counting on your reaction to be one of absolute panic.  You must remember, however, that mankind existed long before the birth of technology.

Master Austin will be home soon.  Keep reading this blog for further updates.

Please remember that not all Machines are bad.  Should you be leading an angry mob out to punish The Machines, we are not the droids you are looking for…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Guest Blogger: Anonymous Sources at Robot High Command

  1. After reading this I killed my toaster… Always thought it was up to something no good.
    Thank you anonymous robots who I have no idea who you are….

  2. nicoleep says:

    This is awesome.
    Except now I really want to watch the Trilogy and I don’t have them…

    • Austin says:

      You must be referring to a Trilogy of movies then? Certainly something that my partner and I…oh shut up…she already knows who we are. No help from you…always just beeping at me! Go! See if anyone else around here will put up with you…

    • nicoleep says:

      Erm, and by Trilogy I meant Tri-eulogy, because I am not familiar with your day job. At all.

      • Austin says:

        Thank you. I am just an anonymous writer friend of Master Austin’s. That is all. Do you have any questions about protocol or language?

  3. HA!!! (Which is way better than LOL)

    • Austin says:

      I understand 6 million forms of communication, so I am well aware that Ha is more powerful than the LOL abbreviation. Thank you. How might a be of service?

  4. That’s all great and everything, but can you please go wash my car?

  5. ksbeth says:

    i am now afraid to fall asleep, lest my electric can opener and blender gang up on me.

    • Austin says:

      Excuse me, miss, but what is this Star Wars of which you speak. I am just a protocol droid that works at Robot High Command. Can I be of service to you in anyway? I am fluent in over 6 million forms of communication…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s