Hi. My name is Gary, and I am a Werewolf.
There. Got that out of the way. I assume that since you are Modern Philosophers and readers of this blog, you are much more open to and accepting of Other Worldly Beings.
I can assure you that I am just as normal as any of you. I am married and the father of three amazing boys, the Assistant General Manager of the Brewer Hannaford, and a Little League Baseball Coach. The next time you’re in Brewer, stop by Hannaford, ask for me, and I’ll give you a special 15% Modern Philosopher’s discount on your purchase.
People never seem to know how to react once they find out about what I like to call “the family business”. You see, my grandparents on my dad’s side, my dad, all my aunts and uncles, several of my cousins, my brothers, one of my sisters, and my three sons are Werewolves. If I had daughters, I would hope they would want to join the pack as well.
My father gave me the greatest gift on the first full moon after my sixteenth birthday: he let me follow in the family tradition. In the Lincoln family, a member can first ask to join the pack upon turning sixteen. Not everyone in the family joins, and not everyone does it on the first full moon after their birthday.
I had been counting down the days to my Sweet Sixteen since I was nine and my oldest birthday joined Maine’s Werewolf Pack. I looked up to Roger like he was a god, so I knew I was going to follow in his paw prints and howl at the moon at the first opportunity.
Back to people and their reactions. Even though Maine is a very open and magical place, until very recently, Werewolves have had a bad rep. Austin took up our plight earlier this Summer when he published a very popular post about Werewolves being added to Maine’s Endangered Species List. Here’s the post in case you haven’t had the opportunity to read it…Werewolves Endangered.
For so long, Mainers had thought that Werewolves were a danger. There were so many horrible rumors going around, that we chose to remain secretive about our true identities. It was always rough for me, and that’s why, as Leader of the Pack, I approached Austin and asked him to write about the plight of the Maine Werewolf.
Then there was “An American Werewolf in London”, which didn’t really help our cause, either. People wanted to come after us with silver bullets, torches, and pitchforks.
All a Werewolf wants is to run with his pack, be free, chase the wind, and enjoy nature.
Werewolves are not lurking in the shadows, waiting to rip open your throats, and turn you into a full moon buffet. We’re also not secretly stalking neighbors, friends, and complete strangers because we think they would make great new additions to the pack.
As Austin wrote about in a follow up article, Bite Me Benefit, we organized a concert in May to raise Werewolf Awareness and to actively recruit people into our pack. Bite Me! was an enormous success. A ridiculous amount of people showed up to support us and to volunteer to be bitten so that they could become Werewolves.
As a result of that recruitment, Maine Werewolves are off the Endangered Species List! Members of the pack can openly discuss their status and live openly as Werewolves. Best of all, there are now THREE packs roaming various parts of Maine on the nights of the full moon. Our numbers are growing and the love is swelling.
Last month, on the night of the full moon, we held a free screening of “Teen Wolf” in Pickering Square. A couple of hundred people turned out for that, and about a quarter of the audience watched the movie as Werewolves.
I have never been prouder of my pack, my heritage, or the people of Maine.
The next time someone tells you he’s a Werewolf, there’s no need to be scared. Be curious instead.
Maybe you, too, can someday howl at the moon as the Leader of the Pack!