Do Short Work Weeks Suffer From Napoleon Complexes?

Napoleon HorseThis Modern Philosopher has learned, based on evidence provided by my spies within The Calendar Commission, that short work weeks suffer from Napoleon Complexes.

The condition, also known as “Little Man Syndrome”, describes a tendency by wee folks to act all tough and bad ass to make up in bark what they lack in height.  It was first discovered by Napoleon Bonaparte in the early 19th Century while he was busy conquering most of Europe.  He named it after himself because he was a little narcissist.

How does this all tie in to short work weeks?  Think about how horrible this week was for you, Modern Philosophers.  Despite not having to work on Monday, didn’t it feel like the week still managed to cram 40 hours of stress into your life?

NapoleonLeading psychologists in the employ of The Calendar Commission have interviewed every short week from the past 5 years.  According to the data they compiled from hundreds of hours of individual and group sessions, as well as from extensive psychological testing, short work weeks have issues.  Not only do they exhibit classic Napoleonic tendencies, but most of them admitted that they flat out tried to go medieval on employees just to show them they were the toughest bitches in the prison yard during that period.

Memorial Day Week 2009 was the only short week willing to speak to this Modern Philosopher on the record.  “It’s total Darwinism when it comes to the calendar,” those fateful last days of May 2009 explained.  “There’s 52 of us competing for dominance on any given calendar, and the short work weeks are seen as easy targets to be plucked off by the regular weeks and sent to the bottom of the heap.  That’s why we gots to represent, to bring it, to open up a heaping mess of whoop ass on the working man!”

Here’s hoping that Memorial Day Week 2009 is still taking advantage of those free sessions with the Calendar Commission’s mental health professionals…

TGIFI’m 6’3″, so I don’t know much about this particular affliction, but I do know that I am extremely thankful it’s Friday.  This week was rough.

The last four days worked me over really hard, and my body and psyche are covered in bruises as a result.  I might even be concussed.

I was very happy to eject from the flaming cockpit of this work week the second the clock struck 5:00.

Adios, shorty.  Enjoy your time on Elba…


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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14 Responses to Do Short Work Weeks Suffer From Napoleon Complexes?

  1. I believe I may have made a funny and you may be proud of me. Please see, an open letter to The Sandman

  2. grannyK says:

    I have noticed that most short weeks are killers. This one wasn’t too bad for me this time!

  3. floridaborne says:

    Guys with short man syndrome are the worst. You’d think they’d look in the mirror, do some comparison to find out why they just don’t measure up.

    What is worse than a short work week is going on vacation for 2 weeks. You can get the work done by working extra hours in order to enjoy your vacation without guilt. BUT….you walk into work to find there was an emergency, or something requiring scads of work to get done in a week. Then you’re forced to jump into work again–spending the next 2 weeks working as hard as you did before you went on vacation. It sucks all of the benefits out of you that vacation provided.

  4. mudlips says:

    I do love your headlines. I don’t always have time to read every post but these funny headlines do make me chuckle and that’s so appreciated!

  5. Pingback: Just because | Always a Reason to Party

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