Tonight is the final full moon of the Summer, Modern Philosophers, and that means that Maine’s Werewolves will be out in full force to get in their last howls of the season.
Gary Lincoln, the leader of the largest of Maine’s Werewolf packs, stopped by The House on the Hill this afternoon. He could not have been more excited.
“The last run of the Summer is always the wildest of the year,” he informed me as he paced up and down the front porch. “No one misses this run, and with the sudden rise of the Maine Werewolf population over the Summer, this will the the largest one in decades.”
As Gary explained it, his pack planned to meet up with the other two Maine Wolfpacks in the North Woods. Then, the idea is to run the perimeter of the entire state, before breaking up to howl the night away in the woods of their choice.
“I’ve been going to the gym or running outside after work five nights a week all month,” Gary bragged. “We have a hell of a lot of running scheduled for tonight, and it would be pretty embarrassing if the Leader of the Pack couldn’t set the pace.”
For those of you not familiar with Maine’s Werewolves, and who fear that Gary’s words are a threat of a night of horror and rampaging, please get a grip. You’re stereotyping Werewolves based on the old school black and white horror movies that probably scared the crap out of you when you were a kid. Real Werewolves are nothing at all like the ones in the movies.
“That’s right, Austin,” Gary picked up the lecture. “Maine Werewolves are your neighbors, your grocers, the cute waitress you flirt with when you go to the diner, your favorite DJ, your doctor, and your best friend. No one’s going to get attacked, have their throats ripped out, or be turned into one of us against his or her will.”
Membership in Maine’s Werewolf population is strictly voluntary, Modern Philosophers. Those Mainers who have taken the plunge are in for a night of extreme excitement. “Nothing against the other seasons, but there’s something special about this time of year right before Summer turns to Fall. It really makes a Werewolf want to howl with all his might to let the world know he’s out there enjoying life!”
So if you’re a Mainer who’s also a light sleeper, I highly recommend you either put in some ear plugs tonight, or maybe turn on the white noise machine. “You’re gonna hear some really wild howling tonight,” Gary promised as his eyes lit up with glee.
A part of me was so tempted to tag along and ask Gary to do the honor of initiating me into his pack, but I just couldn’t do it. Maybe I’m a little afraid. Perhaps it has something to do with my inherent hatred of running.
All I know for sure if that I will be up on the roof of The House on the Hill tonight with Gary the Gargoyle, and we will both be listening for the proof that the last full moon of the Maine Summer is the finest.
Run free and run wild, my friends. Howl for those of us who don’t quiet have the courage to unleash the beast inside of us.
Enjoy the night. May it seem to last forever…
i love this moon and still love young michael landon in i was a teenage werewolf )
Does that kind of love ever fade? I think not…
My best friend’s a werewolf?! D:
That would explain the excessive body hair.
Remember, that comment was about Maine Werewolves. Your best friend might just be hairy!
Oh… well… that’s good news. I think she’ll be relieved.