Pope Francis and I were chatting on the phone the other day, as we often do because we’ve become pals over the past few months, and the Pontiff asked me why I’ve given up on religion even though I was raised Catholic.
I answered honestly, Modern Philosophers, and told the Vatican King that a lot of it had to do with my Evil Stepmother, who pretty much force fed me Catholicism in my youth.
Then I added that I was really not a fan of having to go to church every Sunday. I’d much rather sleep in, watch football, and just relax. If I go out on a Saturday night, it’s a drag knowing I’ve got to get up early the next day, dress up nice, and repeat the same lines and prayers I’ve recited every Sunday since I was a little kid.
Wait? What? This Modern Philosopher who’d spent every Sunday of his young life in St. Ephrem’s Church (pictured at the left) was totally confused.
“I think you’re on to something, Austin,” Pope Francis replied. “People rebel against being told they have to do something. No one wants to be forced into anything. Making Sunday Mass obligatory is a sin. The churches are there, and if people want to attend a service, they are free to do so. God did give us all Free Will after all.”
You’re welcome, all you Catholics out there who have either been going to Church because you felt like you had to, or have been feeling guilty because you haven’t been going.
I made sure that Pope Francis informed the Nuns of this new rule, and made him promise me that he would order them not to try to punish me for my part in his decision.
Gotta say, really loving the job my buddy in the Vatican has been doing. What do you guys think about this new policy?