What The Sun Devil Are You Doing To Me, Lucifer?

DevilI’ve got a Devil of a problem on my hands, Modern Philosophers…

Apparently, Satan has invited all his demonic friends over to The House on the Hill (which I still own, but he seems to have possessed!) to watch the Notre Dame game tonight.

Normally, I’d be totally up for it, but I’m really sick and have barely moved off the couch all day.  I just wanted to watch the game in peace and quiet, cheering on The Fighting Irish in a low key, under the weather kind of way.

But Lucifer will not have it.  You see, Notre Dame is playing Arizona State.  The team from ASU is known as The Sun Devils.  As a result, The Prince of Darkness sees this is a personal showdown between him and I.  Ugh!

SeamusI’ve begged, pleaded, reminded him that this is my house, but to absolutely no avail.  I explained that I even banned Seamus, Maine’s only Leprechaun and the biggest Notre Dame fan in the state after me, but His Royal Pitchforkedness told me that he had invited Seamus to the shindig.

To stack the odds in his favor, Satan invited all his Demonic friends over for the game, promising them his famous Hellfire Wings if they attended.

So what do I do?  I’ve tried to make a deal with The Devil, but that clearly hasn’t worked.  He’s not interested in my soul, and really seems intent on watching the game here.

Of course, this most likely means he has a personal problem and Lucifer hates to be alone when he has issues.  I’m sure he wants to bare his soul to me in a serious man to Fallen Angel talk, but I’m just not up for it tonight.

I’m a good friend, but when I’m sick, I’m a huge baby.  Is it wrong of me to just want The House on the Hill to myself self tonight to watch the game?

Sun devilsHow do I give The Devil his due without having him unleash his fury? I’ve always had trouble standing up to him, but tonight I really want to give him hell.  I just don’t know how to do it.  I don’t want to upset my friend and fall from grace with him.

Any thoughts, Modern Philosophers?


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to What The Sun Devil Are You Doing To Me, Lucifer?

  1. cat9984 says:

    know any she-devils you could invite over to entertain him?

  2. floridaborne says:

    Watch it in your bedroom or record it and watch it later. Serve angel food cake. 🙂

  3. genext13 says:

    I would have just said I don’t feel well and I want to be alone. It works for me because I roll like that. Make him do all the work and just sit in a chair all night. You may have already set yourself up for tonight, but he might think differently next time.

  4. List of X says:

    Holy Water should work. Or do you only have Snapple in your house?

  5. hope you survived unscathed — get a better lock

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