Apparently, Satan has invited all his demonic friends over to The House on the Hill (which I still own, but he seems to have possessed!) to watch the Notre Dame game tonight.
Normally, I’d be totally up for it, but I’m really sick and have barely moved off the couch all day. I just wanted to watch the game in peace and quiet, cheering on The Fighting Irish in a low key, under the weather kind of way.
But Lucifer will not have it. You see, Notre Dame is playing Arizona State. The team from ASU is known as The Sun Devils. As a result, The Prince of Darkness sees this is a personal showdown between him and I. Ugh!
I’ve begged, pleaded, reminded him that this is my house, but to absolutely no avail. I explained that I even banned Seamus, Maine’s only Leprechaun and the biggest Notre Dame fan in the state after me, but His Royal Pitchforkedness told me that he had invited Seamus to the shindig.
To stack the odds in his favor, Satan invited all his Demonic friends over for the game, promising them his famous Hellfire Wings if they attended.
So what do I do? I’ve tried to make a deal with The Devil, but that clearly hasn’t worked. He’s not interested in my soul, and really seems intent on watching the game here.
Of course, this most likely means he has a personal problem and Lucifer hates to be alone when he has issues. I’m sure he wants to bare his soul to me in a serious man to Fallen Angel talk, but I’m just not up for it tonight.
I’m a good friend, but when I’m sick, I’m a huge baby. Is it wrong of me to just want The House on the Hill to myself self tonight to watch the game?
How do I give The Devil his due without having him unleash his fury? I’ve always had trouble standing up to him, but tonight I really want to give him hell. I just don’t know how to do it. I don’t want to upset my friend and fall from grace with him.
Any thoughts, Modern Philosophers?