A surprising twist to the Fall Foliage Season in Maine, Modern Philosophers…
The Zombies seem to be changing color as well to better fit in with their surroundings.
“We think the Zombies are finally evolving, having been a part of Maine’s environment for so long,” Dr. Rob Kerchlund, the head of the University of Maine’s Zombie Studies Department told this Modern Philosopher. “We would love to get out there with the herds for a closer look, but as you know, the government shutdown is making that very difficult.”
As I reported on this blog last week, Maine’s Zombie Census Bureau Agents and Zombie Hunters are government employees affected by the shutdown. While a skeleton crew has been allowed to return to work, they have their hands full with the Zombie population, and really don’t have time to protect scientists out in the field.
“The changes were very subtle at first,” Dr. Kerchlund continued. “We just saw a change in the color of the Zombies’ hair. Look at this photo for example. That Zombie had been a brunette just a week earlier. Now her hair is a color more like the Autumn leaves around her. It’s quite fascinating really.”
What does this evolution of Zombie coloring mean for us? Is it a sign that The Zombie Apocalypse is closer to being a reality?
“There is no true timetable for The Zombie Apocalypse,” he informed me as he continued to pore over photos of Zombies that were various beautiful colors. “Without being able to get out in the field to study the Zombies in their natural environment, I can’t really tell you what is going on. It could just be a Fall Foliage thing. Maybe in the Winter, when the snows come, the Zombies will all turn white to blend it with it.”
Camouflaged Zombies? If that doesn’t sound like the next step of The Zombie Apocalypse, I don’t know what does. If Zombies could blend in with their surroundings, it would make it much more to keep them under control.
“This photo is very disturbing,” Dr. Kerchlund warned before showing it to me (it is the photo posted to the left). “While it looks like a gorgeous depiction of Maine’s Fall Foliage, there are actually five Zombies in the photo. Can you spot them?”
Alarmingly, I could not. Once the good doctor pointed them out to me, I realized how serious this Zombie color change was. It sent shivers rippling through my toga.
What are we going to do about this? Dr Kerchlund shrugged. “Right now, my hands are tied. I need to get my team out into woods to study this this. We can’t go without protection, though. I’m meeting with Stephen King today to see if he’ll put up the funds to hire back a team of Zombie Hunters. Keep your fingers crossed.”
It took me quite a long time to type this article, Modern Philosophers, because my fingers are still crossed. I will let you know if Dr. Kerchlund is able to raise the money he needs. In the meantime, please contact your local representatives and demand that they end the government shutdown.
The lives and brains of Mainers very well might depend on it!
whoa
Could you elaborate on that???
I’ve been preparing for the zombie apocalypse since high school, but a recent trip to a particularly effective haunted house made me realize how woefully ill-prepared I am, psychologically, for the undead. I think I shoved a kid in makeup. If they’re out there in fall foliage camouflage, I’m a goner. Great post. I’ll keep an eye out.
You’ve got to stay vigilant. Keep reading this blog, and you should be prepared!
This one is very clever and made me laugh out loud.
Thanks. Glad you liked it. 🙂
It’s that zombie time year again.
They live and die for this month!!
Exactly. Plus, The Walking Dead returns tonight. Yay!
Okay, I need to see this.
You live in Maine, so you should be able to see it just by looking out your window… 😉
The zombies, goof!
I know, but as a reader of my blog, and Maine resident, you should know Zombies are everywhere. There’s probably one on your street right now. Go check. I’ll wait… 🙂
I did see lots of people stumbling down the street, but here in the big city this is very normal.
Look closer. Some of them might be beautifully colored Zombies. 🙂
I’ll be sure to break out the binoculars. 🙂
What weapon to you carry for Zombie killing? I always have a stiletto tucked under my toga. And just just because I’m happy to see you… 🙂
Hahahaha, you’re ridiculous. I need to work on my self defense skills, wii boxing just isn’t cutting it.
Get Wii Zombie Hunter. 🙂
And I don’t have a weapon 😦
That’s just ridiculous…
Rude.
Rude? I’m looking out for your safety and well being. You need to read this blog more diligently. There are Zombies everywhere! 🙂
Oh, I’m sorry, thank you for the concern for my safety!! Maybe I should take self defense 🙂
Yes, you should. You’re a writer, and Zombies REALLY crave writers’ brains! Be careful!
But I’m not a GOOD writer, I just write as stress relief; everyone can write. So, really you should be scared. 🙂 I’m getting inspiration right now and watching The Walking Dead!
Awww…I need to watch that first ep. I DVRed it.