Pope Francis To Turn Vatican Into Giant Haunted House For Halloween

haunted houseThe Partying Pontiff is at is again, Modern Philosophers!

Pope Francis announced that he is throwing a lavish Halloween party on Thursday night, and turning The Vatican into the world’s scariest haunted house for the event.

Ever since being elected to office earlier in the year, the new head of the Catholic Church has thrown elaborate parties to celebrate every major holiday (and some of the minor ones, too!).

I think my favorite was when he had Dan Brown, the author of The Da Vinci Code, design a massive Easter Egg Hunt using his intimate knowledge of The Vatican’s secret passages and tunnel system.

Pope FrancisSo what does he have in store for us on Halloween?  “I can already hear the jokes, Austin,” Pope Francis said with a chuckle via Skype.  “There are those who will say that The Vatican has been a house of horrors for centuries.  So maybe I’m poking a little fun at that.  Maybe…”

Aside from turning The Vatican into a haunted house, the Pope also has big plans for St. Peter’s Square.  “The party is going to have two themes.  The haunted house will focus on the Seven Deadly Sins.  I thought there needed to be a nod to religion given the location of the affair.”

“Outside, in St. Peter’s Square, however, the mood is going to be much lighter,” he explained excitedly.  “There, we will have a Harry Potter theme!  Guests will be assigned to a Hogwarts House upon arrival, even if they do not come in costume.  Everyone seems to think I should go as Dumbledore, but I have something else in mind.  It’s always been my dream to be Hagrid, and now that dream will come true.”

harry-potter“Best of all?  We’re going to turn St. Peter’s Square into a giant Quidditch pitch with a pumpkin patch at one end and a cemetery at the other.  Please tell me you’ll be my guest, Austin, so you can enjoy all the fun!”

Don’t worry, Holy Father, I am already making my travel plans and cannot wait to see how amazing the place is going to look.

Pope Francis asked me to extend an invitation to all of my readers, and emphasized that you do not need to be a Catholic to join the party.

So who’s going?  Let me know and we’ll meet up at the pumpkin patch or something…

Happy Halloween!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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15 Responses to Pope Francis To Turn Vatican Into Giant Haunted House For Halloween

  1. cat9984 says:

    Wow – the Seven Deadly Sins – would love to see it – might be able to populate it with Popes from the Middle Ages and Renaissance – although I think being able to buy an indulgence would be useful from time to time.

  2. ksbeth says:

    i may see you there )

  3. Catherine Johnson says:

    Hilarious! Packing now am I.

  4. Austin says:

    Reblogged this on The Return of the Modern Philosopher and commented:

    Pope Francis, aka The Partying Pontiff, always knows how to celebrate a holiday. This is what he did for Halloween last year. Any guesses what he’ll do to make Halloween 2014 memorable?

  5. sonmicloud says:

    That tickled me. I’d hope a few dressed in red cassocks would dash in shouting “No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition!!” *laughs*.

    – sonmi upon the Cloud.

  6. I better go pack and book a flight. Don’t want to miss anything. 😀

  7. “The haunted house will focus on the Seven Deadly Sins. I thought there needed to be a nod to religion given the location of the affair.” Ha ha! That would be brilliant! 🙂

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