Jump Start Your Brain: Cold and Flu Season

JumpstartGood..cough…cough…morning, Modern Philosophers!

My body’s immune system is under attack, but I am doing my best to fight it off.  I have climbed inside my portable bubble, and am typing this post from its sterile environment as my interns roll me around the house.

Needless to say, my brain is a foggy, confused mess.  I’m worried that if I keep sneezing and blowing my nose so much, I’m going to dislocate my brain.

So, I think it’s time to clear the fog, get the Deep Thoughts flowing, and jump start my brain.  Anyone else need some brainside assistance?  I’ve got the giant Deep Thoughts battery right here, so let me zap you while I’m at it…

What’s the deal with Cold & Flu Season?  How have scientists not yet found a cure for the common cold?  If it has the word “common” in it’s name, shouldn’t that mean it’s not one of the more complex diseases out there?

Why does the flu keep coming back year after year?  Doesn’t the whole world get flu shots?  Speaking of which, if I got my flu shot on Wednesday, why am I sick now?  Did anyone check the vial and make sure I wasn’t simply injected with the flu?

Why can’t science wipe out these maladies?  They’ve pretty much rid the world of smallpox and polio, so why not the cold and the flu?  It’s a conspiracy, isn’t it?  Science has the cure, but they’re not allowed to share it, right?  Flu shots are meant to make us sick and not help us build up an immunity, correct?

I knew it!  Big Pharma is behind all this, yes?  Is this why the pharmacist pointed me in the direction of the most expensive remedy on the shelf last night?  Is that why she didn’t just tell me to get the 99 cent bag of cough drops?  How much power does Big Pharma have?  Would they rather infect us all and slowly bleed us dry as we buy their “remedies”?

What needs to be done to finally wipe out the cold and flu?  When can we finally take away the season we give them?  How can we banish those maladies forever?  Where’s Jonas Salk when you really need him?

Sorry for rambling on like a madman, Modern Philosophers.  I think I have a fever.  This is going to be a long, icky day.  Send care packages to The House on the Hill please…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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39 Responses to Jump Start Your Brain: Cold and Flu Season

  1. navery101 says:

    Hope you beat it! Good luck!

  2. floridaborne says:

    Just got over my own bout with the Creeping Crud, which recently packed it’s bags and departed. I get the Dollar General or Family Dollar versions of Nyquil (half the price with the same stuff in it) and generic benedryl and ibuprofen. That’s what got me through the past 2 weeks.

    Did you know that flu shots are geared to only one of the many types of flu? That’s one of the reasons I stay away from flu shots. The other? The number of family and friends who came down with the flu after getting a shot. 🙂

    • Austin says:

      I probably should’ve passed on the shot this year, but the peer pressure in the schoolyard was pretty intense. Glad to hear you’re feeling better!

  3. kalabalu says:

    when you sneeze !! it gives you a reshuffle in brain..it makes you feel what a sneeze can mean..and cold is only effective when you are old ..whether one day or thousand days ..it is a good excuse for not taking a bath 😉

  4. You are obviously not drinking enough.

    Get well, amigo!

  5. Ahhh, it was all that early morning running that did you in!!! Hate to hear you’re feeling badly. Try “Cold Ezze” it’s loaded with Zinc and helps ease the cold symptoms 🙂

  6. ksbeth says:

    i have made soup in your honor and know that the flu takes on a life of its own, mutating a bit each year, just enough to stay out of the clutches or our scientists. like a sci-fi b-movie at its finest. hope you feel better soon, get those white blood cells into action asap –

  7. cat9984 says:

    I forget what it’s called but there’s a cold remedy on the shelves that says symptoms should ease after a few days of taking it. It is also a fact that the average cold virus lives 7-10 days in most of us. So by the time we’re sick enough to get the medicine, it’s a wash as to how much longer the bug will stick around. Generally speaking, I go to bed and sleep for two days straight and feel a lot better. But my family says that’s the cat in me, so it might not work for everyone.

  8. Actually yes, you were injected with the flu. That’s how those things work you know. They inject you with a benign flu virus that’s already mostly dead (I’m thinking Princess Bride here) so that your immune system can have practice fighting it. Maybe the one they gave you was less than benign.

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