Stoners Bummed Over Harsh Reality About Turkey Pot Pie, Dude

T Pot PieA Seattle based group calling itself The Stoners Brigade is threatening to sue turkey pot pie manufacturers for false advertising.

It’s no coincidence that this announcement comes so close to Thanksgiving, Modern Philosophers.  Apparently, the organization had planned to have a turkey pot pie feast to celebrate Turkey Day, but after the buzz kill discovery of the entree’s ingredients (or lack thereof), those plans have had to change.

“Dude, how can they say right on the box that it’s a pot pie when there isn’t any pot in it?” questioned Mary Jane, the group’s spokesperson.  “We bought a ton of ’em for our Thanksgiving Dinner Party, but now we have to take ’em all back.  That leaves us with nothing but brownies, and that’s not a proper Thanksgiving feast.”

PotI can see where there might be some confusion for Mary Jane and her colleagues, but do they really have grounds for a lawsuit?  I decided to check with famed Bangor attorney, Cy Brown, who is currently representing Thanksgiving in a lawsuit against Christmas.

“Austin, I would normally say this lawsuit had no merit, but it would be like the pot, pun intended, calling the kettle black given that I’m suing Christmas,” Cy confessed with a heavy sigh.

“The thing of it is, I don’t see how the members of this organization were wronged,” he continued.  “They’ll be able to recoup their investment by returning the pot pies to the grocery store, there is still plenty of time left for them to purchase a replacement dinner to save their Thanksgiving Feast, and it sounds like they’ve got brownies to take care of the loss of pot claim, which seems to be what’s harshing their buzz.”

I went back on Skype and asked Mary Jane if she had consulted a lawyer about her claim.  “Who are you again?” she asked with a very confused smile on her face.  “You’re the toga guy, right?  Julius Caesar?  Dude, you need to watch out for Brutus.  I can’t remember why, but I just know he does something to harsh your mellow.”

James Franco, Seth RogenOnce I reminded her who I was, she nodded in recognition.  “We got some awesome news today.  We were in the store returning the turkey pot pies, and we found out they had something called chicken pot pies.  And they were on sale!  Thanksgiving is saved!”

I thanked Mary Jane for her time, wished her a Happy Thanksgiving, and politely declined her invitation to join them for Thursday’s feast.  I was really tempted, though, because I knew my tie dyed toga would’ve gone over really well with the other guests…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Stoners Bummed Over Harsh Reality About Turkey Pot Pie, Dude

  1. It’s a good thing that S O S (sh&t on shingles) ain’t the focus of this story.

  2. 1wanderingtruthseeker says:

    A pot pic sound really good!

  3. 1wanderingtruthseeker says:

    I meant pot pie.

  4. ksbeth says:

    truth in advertising

  5. Yep. Every year here in Boulder there are always some bummed out students whose mellows have been harshed by the whole turkey pot pie conspiracy.

  6. cat9984 says:

    Reminds me of an Australian roommate I had in college. We were living in a co-op (commune for the upwardly mobile), and one of the other residents made some pot brownies and labeled them as such. My roommate and her sister thought the sign meant they had been made in a pot.

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