Three Chairs On A Porch: Three Guys Celebrating Hanukkah

Happy_HanukkahWelcome to The House on the Hill for a very special Hanukkah Edition of “Three Chairs on a Porch”, Modern Philosophers!

Mother Nature smiled upon us today and blessed us with weather in the 50s, which means Maine’s favorite talk show set on a front porch does not have to move inside for the Winter just yet.

As always, I am joined by two guests with a vague connection.  They get to ask each other only one question, while I sit between them and smile at how lucky I am to get to listen in on the conversation.

My guests today are Hanukkah Harry and Moses. 

Hanukkah Harry, who sat in the chair on my right and arrived at The House on the Hill with enough food to feed the entire audience, chose to ask the first question.

“Shalom, Moses!  Happy Hanukkah!” he said enthusiastically.  “I have so many questions, but the one I’ll go with is: Which of the Ten Commandments is your favorite?”

MosesMoses put down his Snapple (I was so impressed that he loved my favorite drink!), stroked his beard as he generated some Deep Thoughts, and then finally replied, “I’m going to go with Thou Shalt Not Kill.  That’s the one that kept me out of trouble while we were wandering around the desert for 40 years.  If I hadn’t had it chiseled into tablets for me to consult every day, I probably would’ve murdered several members of my traveling party.”

“If I can give you once piece of advice, Harry, it would be to never go on an extended journey across a desert with such a large group.  It’s a logistical nightmare and it really taps into your homicidal rage.”

I raised my Snapple in toast to Moses’ answer, and then took a huge bite out of my BBQ Buffalo Wing from Pluck U.  Harry always brought wings from my favorite place near NYU when he came to visit.  The man simply rocks!

Moses sipped from his Snapple and then asked his question.  “Harry, while I just advised you against taking a long journey with a large group, I was hoping to go on a new journey tonight.  Can I join you as you deliver Hanukkah gifts to good little boys and girls all over the world?”

harry“I would love nothing more!” Hanukkah Harry exclaimed and leaped out of his chair to dance around my front porch in delight.  “It’s always fun to have friend along to share stories and food.  I hate to nosh alone.”

“We leave as soon as we finish this New York feast I’ve brought to share with my good friend Austin.  I want to hear all about that beautiful Jewish girl you love, Toga Boy!”

Speaking of that beautiful Jewish girl, let me take a moment here to wish The Girl Who Spins My Dreidel a very Happy Hanukkah.  I kept my promise to you, Sweetheart, and remembered to blog about your Holiday this year.  Thinking of you…

Thank you for joining me on the porch, Modern Philosophers.  I promise to have you over again real soon.  Happy Hanukkah!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Three Chairs On A Porch: Three Guys Celebrating Hanukkah

  1. Mazel tov! And a bunch of Other Tovs also!

  2. I love the way you refer to your girlfriend.

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