Rudolph, who has been the face of the North Pole franchise for ages, was thought by most experts to be a member of Santa’s team for life. The most recognizable of Santa’s Reindeer, Rudolph clearly had other plans.
“We saw the writing on the stable wall,” another Reindeer told this Modern Philosopher, “when Rudolph dropped Scott Boras as his agent and signed with Snow Miser. Santa didn’t want to believe Rudy would ever leave, but he can be a little naive.”
“I think Seattle is just looking to sell tickets and give a new face to a struggling franchise,” one Major League insider shared with this Modern Philosopher. “You can’t get a more recognizable face than that one with the antlers and the glowing red nose. Will he help them win games? Not unless he can pitch.”
So what is Santa Claus going to do? Who will take Rudolph’s place guiding Santa’s Sleigh on Christmas Eve?
“We’ll manage, Austin,” Santa Claus assured me, although there was a hint of sadness in his voice. “I was able to make my annual run before Rudolph joined the team, and we’ll be fine without him. Remember, this is a team effort, and I’ve still got the best one in the game.”
Fred Claus, however, did not share his brother’s upbeat attitude. “Rudolph is a backstabbing punk,” Fred yelled at me across our Skype connection. “We brought him up through our system, gave him his big break, and watched him become a superstar. This is how he repays us? It’s b@##$%^* if you ask me. I hope it never stops raining in Seattle and he gets bored and lonely.”
Only one of Rudolph’s former teammates was willing to talk to me, and aside from his earlier comment wanted to add: “I’m not going to lie. It hurts. We were a team, but it’s obvious that Rudy got all the attention. He was the breakout star. He had his own song and claymation special. We were cool with all that, so we’re hurt that he’d just ditch us.”
“I don’t get why he’d want to leave the team we had here, in the Mecca of Christmas, for a place thousands of miles away. Why work 162 days a year instead of just one? Maybe it was Snow Miser’s influence. Maybe it was greed. I’ve heard that he didn’t like the way Santa managed things, but how could he pass up on all this tradition? He was a legend on the greatest team of all time.”
It truly is a sad day for Christmas fans and for those who love Santa’s Reindeer. I’m not going to suddenly hate Rudolph because he left, but I’m definitely not thrilled with what he decided to do. I hope it was for more than just the money.
I’ll let Fred Claus have the final word: “The Mariners suck. I just put all the owner’s kids and grandkids on the Naughty list, and I’m doing the same for the General Manager. Rudolph’s gonna rue the day he flew off for millions and left us behind!”
People can get really passionate about their teams, Modern Philosophers…