“We understood that He was just a baby at the time, and the responsibility for the thank you would’ve fallen on Mary and Joseph, but He hasn’t been a baby for awhile,” the First Wise Man, who is the trio’s spokesperson, told this Modern Philosopher. “The man can walk on water, turn water into wine, and rise from the dead, but he can’t scribble a few lines on a card and put it in the mail?”
I spoke to famed Maine etiquette expert Dr. Loretta Rood about the situation. “Austin, proper etiquette is for the recipient to send a thank you card within two weeks of accepting the gift. In the case of a newborn, that schedule could be stretched to a month or six weeks because parents are just so busy adjusting to having a new family member. Consequently, it is also proper for the gift giver to never ask about a thank you card.”
“Given the fact that we are now 2,013 years past when the gifts were given, I would say it is okay for the Wise Men to speak up and question why they never received a thank you card. Especially when you factor in how expensive those gifts were. We’re not talking dollar store purchases here!”
It sounds like Jesus needs to get to work on that thank you. Why are the Wise Men bringing it up after all these years?
Turns out they haven’t seen much of each other since the First Christmas. That event changed their lives and has kept them busy, especially during the Holidays. They stay in touch whenever they can via social media, but this week, business brought them all together again.
“We’ve been promoting our new cologne,” the First Wise Man informed me. “It’s called ‘Magi’, and it was created just for the Holidays. The tagline is: ‘Smell like a wise man this Christmas.’ What do you think?”
I took a sniff of the cologne, and it smelled like a desert in Winter with just a hint of camel. So promoting the cologne got them to thinking about the thank you card?
What do you think, Modern Philosophers? Should the Wise Men just let it go? Is Jesus in the wrong? Would you ever try Magi Cologne?