Holiday Traffic Leaves Santa Stranded In Hawaii

HawaiiAloha, Modern Philosophers!

I’m writing to you, as always, from snowy, frigid Maine, but this post definitely has a Hawaiian flavor to it.

I was minding my own business, watching The Godfather flicks at The House on the Hill, when the Skype alarm chimed.

The incoming message was from an unknown number, but something told me I should answer it.  I’m glad I did because it was my old pal Santa Claus.

“Aloha, Austin,” Santa said with a hearty belly laugh.  “How’s it hangin’, my friend?  Are you having yourself a merry little day after Christmas?”

Santa seemed far too jolly for December 26th, and I got an explanation as to why when he took a few steps back so I could get a better look at him.

Santa Hawaii“I’m in Hawaii!  Can you believe it?” he asked as he did a complete turn so I could get a full view of the extremely loud shirt he was wearing.  “I hope you love this shirt because I’m sending you a toga with the exact same design for your birthday.”

Did that mean Santa Claus thought I was Naughty or Nice?  That shirt really was something (to put it politely).

What was St. Nick doing in Hawaii?  Shouldn’t he be back at the North Pole sleeping for the next week or so?

“I’d love to be back at the North Pole, buddy, but you know how Holiday traffic can be,” he explained as he put on a colorful lei that really clashed with his shirt and made my eyes hurt.  “Things got so backed up that I thought it would be best to get off the road and find shelter at the nearest hotel to wait it out.  Luckily, I happened to be in Hawaii.”

reindeerBut didn’t Santa Claus have a sleigh drawn by flying reindeer?  If that was the case, why would traffic be any sort of issue for him?

“I thought you were a Modern Philosopher, and not a police interrogator!” the jolly man in the colorful shirt declared as he laughed again and let out a mighty, “Ho! Ho! Ho!”.

“There’s a lot of air traffic at this time of year, and I thought it was more important for Holiday travelers to get home than it was for me to get back to the North Pole.  Christmas is a time of giving, am I right?”

The big guy had a point, and he certainly had earned himself a vacation.  What about Mrs. Claus, though?  Wasn’t she back home longing for her man?

“Of course I miss the big lug, Austin, but Nick works so hard and he deserves a little break someplace warm before he comes back to all this ice and cold,” Mrs. Claus explained.  “And do you really think he took that little detour without running it past me first?  I thought you knew me better than that.”

That explained a lot about the Claus’ marriage, and why it was still going strong after all these years.  I made up my mind that a Hawaiian toga wouldn’t be a bad thing, and now I’m looking forward to my birthday and the arrival of Santa’s gift.

Santa CanoeRight before I was about to publish this post, an email arrived from Hawaii.  Apparently, Santa had been very busy since we’d spoken.  The photo that he attached to the email is on the left.  Looks like someone is really enjoying the day after Christmas!

Aloha, Modern Philosophers!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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