Governor LePage Rejects Aliens’ Offer To Protect Maine From Winter With Dome

As Maine continues to struggle with power outages from last week’s ice storm, another blizzard is bearing down on the snow smothered state.

Maine’s Alien population has offered to use its advanced technology to drop a dome over the state to protect it from Winter weather, but Governor Paul LePage has emphatically rejected the Aliens’ offer.

“I watched that documentary on TV this Summer about what happened the last time a dome was dropped on a city in Maine.  My heart goes out to the people of Chester’s Mill and I vow to not allow such a thing to happen again as long as I’m Governor!” LePage barked at reporters who dared question why he rejected the dome.

For those of you new to the blog, Governor LePage is referring to the “Under The Dome” miniseries that ran on CBS this Summer.  He still doesn’t get that it was just a fictional TV show based on a Stephen King novel.

“My aides read me to sleep every night with selections from Stephen King’s book on the topic,” LePage continued.  “I had horrible nightmares, and that was why I passed a law outlawing the doming of any Maine city!” (read LePage’s Dome Law)

Advisers to LePage have tried numerous ways to make him understand that there is no town in Maine called Chester’s Mill, and that a dome has never been dropped on the state.  Stephen King has spoken to the Governor on three different occasions about the topic, and LePage threatened to exile the author from Maine for coming up with the idea.

Maine’s Alien leaders have assured everyone from the Governor to President Obama that the dome they would place over Maine would be for protection from the Winter weather only, and would not pose a threat of any kind to Mainers.

This Modern Philosopher was taken aboard the Mothership, shown the technology involved, and given a detailed explanation of how the dome worked.  “We would lower the dome right before a storm  hit and then raise it once the storm had passed,” Chief Alien Science Engineer Bluu K’Xrygo explained.  “We could even lower it on frigid days and control the climate inside the dome if desired.  It would make Winter in Maine much more tolerable.”

I was sold, and asked if a dome could just be provided over The House on the Hill if Governor LePage insisted on sticking to his guns and upholding his anti-dome law.

Mayor McCheese, LePage’s opponent in the upcoming Gubernatorial Election, told this Modern Philosopher, “I’d have no problem allowing our Alien friends to protect us from the perils of Winter with their dome.  I prefer to keep my temperature at medium well, and that’s hard to do with all this snow and ice.”

For now, Mainers must continue to suffer through power outages, risk their lives on snowy, icy roads, and break their backs shoveling snow.  All because their Governor decided to watch some Summer television.

I cannot wait until Election Day…