White Christmas: The New Nightmare?

FreddyWhile the lyrics to the hit Holiday song might be “I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…”, a recent poll of Mainers has found that more people have nightmares than pleasant dreams about snow on Christmas.

The phone survey, conducted from December 20th through today, polled over 3,000 Maine residents.

The results were overwhelming: 65% of the respondents thought of a White Christmas as a nightmare.  30% said a White Christmas was a dream come true.  While 5% said a White Christmas was racist.

“The results are not surprising given the recent weather in Maine,” Dawn Grisly, a spokesperson for Dominic Rand Polling, Inc., told this Modern Philosopher.  “The state has been hit by several blizzards and an ice storm that knocked out power to tens of thousands of people for nearly a week.”

“Snow is not trending well this Winter,” Stormy McBlizzardton, Maine’s top Meteorologist confirmed.  “To be honest, I roll my eyes every time a report comes in about another blizzard.  Enough already.  We get it.  It snows.  We’re over it.”

Snow MiserI’m sure it doesn’t helped at all that snow has been forever linked to Snow Miser, one of the most horrible creatures to ever skate across the face of this earth.  The icy minded imp seems to take a personal delight in watching the good people of Maine suffer.

What could snow do to increase its approval rating?  “It needs to go away for awhile and make people really miss it,” Grisly suggested.  “Too much of anything is never a good thing.  If Maine went the rest of this Winter without seeing a flake of the white stuff, people might start longing for it.  I bet at that point, it would poll into the eightieth percentile.”

Challenge issued, snow.  Are you up for it?  Can you step away and do a little work on your public image?  The angry people of Maine would love to see you try…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to White Christmas: The New Nightmare?

  1. Imagine my surprise when I opened my Reader this evening and saw Freddie Krueger. I know Maine has been having its share of snow and crappy weather (really more than anyone should have to bear), but…Freddie? Maybe he’s there for … color?

  2. ksbeth says:

    snow does not like to back down and take a backseat, so i’m guessing it will refuse to cooperate. i’m sorry for your bathroom invasion, it seems to be getting more aggressive –

  3. Flooding in your bathroom.
    Wow….you don’t have waterfront property….you have “water-inside” property. That’s beyond cool. It’s downright cold! Surely “water-inside” that is more desirable than simple waterfront.
    I mean…the view of the water is right there. It’s coming right to you. You don’t even have to go outside. Quick. Call a realtor. You could sell your house for millions!

  4. orestgtd says:

    I’m dreaming of a genetically modified snow that will fall on our lawns and trees and stay off our cars and roads.

    I’m also dreaming of a clean driveway.

    I hope you had a good Christmas and Happy New Year to you.

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