Friday Night Think Tank: Ice Age Edition

Doc BrownWelcome to the first Friday Night Think Tank of 2014, Modern Philosophers!

If you survived the frigid weather to join us tonight, then you really are a survivor.  Which once again reminds me…let’s set a season of Survivor in Maine!

It was -35 degrees this morning with the wind chill, it snowed, the pipes in the kitchen froze, and my office was so cold I had to  sit at my desk wrapped in a blanket all day.  Is that any way to treat The Employee of the Month???

I’ve had the heat blasting in The Think Tank all day, but it’s still pretty chilly out here.  I highly recommend you wear some long johns under your fur lined togas!

This week’s topic: I’m looking for a little creativity to start the new year. Tell me what the world will be like once this New Ice Age hits.  How do you plan to survive?  Is there any hope for mankind?

ColdI look outside The House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers, and I see our planet’s stark, icy future.  The Zombies can barely move, and when body parts fall off, they shatter like glass in the streets.

The Four Snowmen of the Apocalypse drive recklessly through the streets of my neighborhood in their ice truck, taking out other drivers, aiming for pedestrians, and throwing snowballs at Nuns and the elderly.

Snow Miser’s snowbirds circle menacingly overhead, forever cawing, and then they attack.  No one stands a chance against them.  Some even get carried away for a far worse fate than that suffered by those assaulted on the streets.

I don’t think I’d make it in that world, Modern Philosophers.  I get a brain freeze from  drinking a shake too quickly, so how am I going to survive a world covered in ice where the thermostat is always set to subzero?

I pray every night for global warming to rescue me.  Hope it arrives soon…

I look forward to reading all your comments.  It might take me awhile, though, because my brain keeps freezing and I have to wait for the interns to thaw me out with hairdryers and IV hot cocoa.

Stay warm, Modern Philosophers!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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16 Responses to Friday Night Think Tank: Ice Age Edition

  1. floridaborne says:

    Good thing you’re not going to live forever. If you did, you’d find the next ice age to be cooler, dryer and the sea level drops down. So don’t go building a castle on the new coastline. It’s possible Earth once had glaciers to the equator. The polar bears might be ecstatic, but few others would be interested in living on that terrain.

    I’m not concerned about an ice age as I am about the trillion dollar debt. 🙂

  2. ksbeth says:

    stay inside until august?

  3. List of X says:

    Two words: heated blanket. This was the first time ever that my wife complained of an article of clothing being too warm.

  4. Sssssoooo ccccold here!! And we’re not even at -35! It only feels like -13 degrees where I am 🙂

    What to do when the new ice age comes? Well, we’ll have to move to Mexico, if they’ll take us. But really, we’ll just all die out and a new species will take over.
    Here endeth the homo-sapiens…

  5. John says:

    The ice would stop expanding around southern California latitude.

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