The now thirtysomething spitfire with the freckled face and wild red afro, had recently started a career as a meteorologist at Bangor’s WART-TV.
This morning, however, a station spokesperson announced that the curtain had closed on Annie’s brief weather career. “It is with a heavy heart that the management of WART-TV announces that it has chosen to end its professional relationship with Little Orphan Annie. It was a wonderful run, but every show must have a final performance.”
Annie debuted in early December during the “Wake Up, Bangor, It’s Morning!” newscast. Her reviews were quite favorable, so she was quickly promoted to the five o’clock broadcast, where she won over even more fans.
“Her rise was meteoric,” WART-TV spokesperson Niles McGee explained to this Modern Philosopher. “Everyone loves an underdog and there’s something about a redhead, you know what I mean?”
Things were going so well, that right before Christmas, management asked Little Orphan Annie if she could put on two shows a night. The rookie meteorologist was more than happy to take the stage on the evening newscast as well.
“Annie’s career was like a speeding car that collided with the Winter Storms rampaging across the country,” Maine Meteorologist Stormy McBlizzardton told this Modern Philosopher. “When that car hit those storms, it spun out of control, went off the road, spun into a ditch, and was never able to get out. Her career eventually froze to death by the side of that road. So sad.”
Okay, Stormy. A little cheesy and overly dramatic, but I get what you’re trying to say. So what happened? Where did it all go wrong?
“Isn’t it obvious?” Stormy snickered. “At the end of every weather report, she’d break out in that ‘The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow’ song, even though she knew it was going to be thirty-five below with the wind chill and a foot of snow was on the way. It really started to irritate the audience. I hear WART got death threats.”
“I can neither confirm, nor deny the death threats rumor,” Niles McGee informed me while emphatically shaking his head to indicate that the rumors were true. “All I can say is that the station did receive numerous complaints, and the worse the weather got, the more colorful the phone callers became.”
I can attest, Modern Philosophers, that tempers tend to flare when the weather worsens and people try to get all peppy about it.
My sources at WART-TV tell me that Daddy Warbucks, Annie’s longtime, filthy rich friend, offered to by the station in order to save Annie’s job, but a deal could not be reached.
So, Modern Philosophers, the sun very well might come out tomorrow, but a certain redheaded meteorologist will not be singing about it on the evening news…