Pope’s “Holy Roller Super Bowl Party” To Begin With Midnight Mass

Pope Francis Holds His Weekly General AudiencePope Francis, this blog’s 2013 Person of the Year, is back in the headlines again.

Known to all as “The Partying Pontiff”, The Holy Father is ready to bring the fun again tomorrow with The Vatican’s Super Bowl Party.  This is the first Super Bowl to occur during Pope Francis’ reign as leader of the Catholic Church.

“It is going to be the ultimate Super Bowl party because it will bring together all the things that make Sunday awesome,” The Pope explained to this Modern Philosopher via Skype.  “It’s going to have football, food, friends, fun…and Midnight Mass!”

That’s right, Modern Philosophers, the Holy Roller Super Bowl Party begins with an epic Midnight Mass in St. Peter’s Square.  It might go in the record books as the largest pregame Super Bowl Mass in history.

“You must remember, Austin, that because of the time difference, the Super Bowl doesn’t begin until almost half past midnight here,” Pope Francis dropped a little knowledge on me.  “So I figured, why not get the party started right by having Midnight Mass, blessing all in attendance, and saying a few prayers for a safe and well-played game?”

the squareLeave it to the coolest Pope ever to find a way to get football fans to go to church on Super Bowl Sunday.  The man is a genius!

So what else does The Partying Pontiff have in store for his guests?

“We are going to set up dozens of giant screens in St. Peter’s Square, and broadcast the game on them.  It wouldn’t be the Super Bowl without football snacks, and with this being Italy, you know we’re going to have delicious food!”

The mouth watering menu includes Italian classics like chicken parmigiana subs, spaghetti and meatballs, lasagna, and pizza.  There are also American favorites like Buffalo wings, cheese fries, nachos, chips and dip.  My stomach growled when I read over the list Pope Francis emailed me.

“There will also be some halftime entertainment,” The Holy Father advised.  “U2 is going to perform live while the Vatican’s Cardinals face off against the Nuns in a game of flag football.  I’m calling it the Holy Roller Bowl.”

Super bowlThe Vatican is definitely going to be rocking into the wee hours of Monday morning.  I’m so jealous I won’t be there.  Who does the Pope think is going to win?

“This is a tough one, but I’m going to have to go with the Nuns,” he replied with a sly smile on his cherubic face.  “Sister Bridget has an amazing arm, and I don’t think the Cardinals have the secondary to cover her receivers.”

Good one.  I understood, of course, why he didn’t want to share his Super Bowl prediction.  The Pope is infallible so if he told me who was going to win, it would take the excitement out of the game for all of us.

Thanks, Pope Francis, for being so awesome!  Enjoy the game!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Pope’s “Holy Roller Super Bowl Party” To Begin With Midnight Mass

  1. ConfoundJR says:

    Reblogged this on Confound.com and commented:
    ha Nice

  2. Reminds me of living just north of Lambeau Field, it was perfectly acceptable to wear GB Packer gear to church.

  3. Here in Florida, church is a casually dressed affair. I’ve seen all sports teams from all seasons represented. Me? I tend to dress up a bit more, but I’m usually up front helping lead the singing. I show my team support with my sequined Cowboy flip flops. 😉

  4. ksbeth says:

    thank god for the wings! and the holy roller bowl.

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