BREAKING NEWS: Groundhog Sees Peter Pan’s Shadow; Six Weeks of Pirate Attacks to Follow

And I thought this Winter couldn’t get any worse!

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

Peter PanIn a stunning and unexpected turn of events today, Punxsutawney Phil, the world’s most famous groundhog, came out of his hole and saw Peter Pan’s shadow!  As this had never before happened, it took officials some time to determine what this meant.  And now we know…

Six months of pirate attacks courtesy of Captain Hook and his crew!

Peter Pan, who eventually arrived on the scene to collect his wayward shadow, offered his deepest apologies.  He also promised that he and the Lost Boys would protect us from the evil, one-handed pirate.  Wendy Darling, who reattached Peter’s shadow, apologized for her shoddy work and assured everyone that the shadow would not escape again.

I’m not that worried, Modern Philosophers, since Maine is more than prepared for a pirate attack.  How are you going to handle this next six weeks?

There’s plenty of room up here if you need a place…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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2 Responses to BREAKING NEWS: Groundhog Sees Peter Pan’s Shadow; Six Weeks of Pirate Attacks to Follow

  1. ksbeth says:

    now you believe me about this winter ) great post

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