Manufacturer Issues Recall On Crystal Balls That Only See Into The Past

PsychicBlosto’s Magic Balls, the Iowa based company that is the United States’ third largest manufacturer of crystal balls, today issued a recall of its “Psychic Second Sight” line.

According to a Blosto’s spokesperson, the balls weren’t as magical as they were supposed to be.  “Through some mix up in the enchanting process, the last shipment had a flaw.  Blosto’s apologizes for any inconvenience, and is working to replace all the defective balls.”

The flaw?  The crystal balls could only see into the past.  Oops!

I don’t want to sound like a wise ass, Modern Philosophers, but shouldn’t the good folks at Blosto’s Magic Balls have seen this problem coming?

Well, maybe not if they attempted to gaze into the future with a crystal ball from their “Psychic Second Sight” line.

“This is a real embarrassment for Blosto’s,” Waltzing Matilda, the leader of Maine’s largest coven, explained to this Modern Philosopher.  “Mainers have been very loyal to the company, even after it slipped to number three in the nation.  I’m told that all of those faulty balls were delivered here.”

All Hallow'sAnd because Maine was the recipient of the crystal balls that are being recalled, the state’s super secret All Hallows Society is conducting an investigation of its own.

“The All Hallows Society polices all things related to Magic and the Other Worldly Lifestyle in Maine,” Waltzing Matilda pointed out.  “The fact that they are getting involved in this is a very bad sign for Blosto’s.  I doubt if they will ever be able to sell their magic balls in Maine again.”

I asked the blog’s legal expert, famed Bangor lawyer Cy Brown, if the defective crystal balls could pose a legal problem for the company.  “This is a real legal hornet’s nest, Austin.  While Blosto’s doesn’t appear to have knowingly put a defective product onto the market, there could still be legal ramifications for the company.”

“Think of all the Psychics who lost business because they could not properly look into the future and advise their clients,” Cy continued.  “Then there are the people who might have missed out on opportunities because the crystal balls couldn’t offer them enlightenment.  There’s also the chance that people could sue for psychological damages brought about by an unexpected look into the past.”

Sounds like Blosto’s Magic Balls really have the company twisting in the legal wind, Modern Philosophers.  Cy agreed with Waltzing Matilda’s assessment that the involvement of The All Hallows Society did not bode well for the company.

I don’t think any of us need a crystal ball to predict that Mainers will be peering into another company’s balls in the years to come…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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8 Responses to Manufacturer Issues Recall On Crystal Balls That Only See Into The Past

  1. ksbeth says:

    could doc brown help?

  2. Jim Zee says:

    Man that’s funny –I needed those laughs.

    Perhaps Blosto is interested in manufacturing underwater lighthouses for submarine navigation?

    • Austin says:

      Interesting. I will forward your idea to their development dept. Maybe there’s a job in this for you.

      Glad you liked the post. Hope you’ll stick around and read some more! 🙂

  3. I would not want the All Hallows Society looking into my business dealings. It’s almost as terrifying a prospect as the NSA screening my calls.

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