Sure, they look all sweet and innocent, but underneath those adorable smiles is something much more sinister.
As I have been documenting on the blog, I am back on a health kick. I’ve been running, lifting weights, and eating better. I even caught this nasty Winter Death Flu just because I knew it would keep me from eating and help me to lose more weight.
I was sitting at my desk today, working hard and staying out of trouble for once, when my friend Tiffany approached with a smile and a plastic bag. I perked up because, clearly, I was about to be rewarded for being such a good worker bee.
Tiffany deposited the bag on my desk, and I excitedly looked inside to see what I’d won.
I asked Tiffany if I had ordered them, and she confirmed that I had, in fact, done so. It started coming back to me. It was a few months ago. Around the Holidays. I was feeling blue, lazy, and incredibly out of shape. So I bought Girl Scout Cookies. Lots of them.
I had actually bought five boxes. I’d figured twenty dollars wouldn’t kill me (and I apparently wasn’t too concerned about the calories killing me at the time…) and I am always happy to help a good cause. I’d been a Boy Scout during my misguided youth, so helping fellow scouts just seemed like the thing to do.
So how did I end up with that sixth box, Modern Philosophers?
Clever marketing. One day, I was asking Tiffany a question, and she offered me a Girl Scout Cookie from the package on her desk. It was quite yummy, and she explained that it was a new flavor. She then suggested that since I liked it so much, I should add a box of those to my order.
Those Girl Scouts are crafty!
I’m curious to see how long those cookies last.
I can’t possibly devour them all because that would mean all my hard work has gone to waste (and to my waist!).
I’m hoping that I have some self-control. I do want to eat a few, but I will do my best to limit it to that. It’s been a rough week, so I deserve a little treat. But no “feeling sorry for myself because life sucks” binge eating.
I suppose I could offer the rest of the cookies to my frequent house guests. The Devil clearly has a sweet tooth judging by how he chugs my Snapple stash. Seamus is always looking to put something in his stomach to keep all the booze a little company. Gary the Gargoyle loves a midnight snack, so I might leave a box up on the roof for him.
Not so fast, Girl Scouts of Maine! I know you think you got me, but maybe I’m going to put up more of a fight than you expected. Yes, your cookies are amazingly delicious and exactly what I crave after a long day at work.
Wish me luck, Modern Philosophers. Those cookies have been screaming out my name the entire time I’ve been writing this post.
I don’t know if I can ignore their siren call any longer. Will power, don’t fail me now!