Two Jokes Made It Onto The Air, But There Are Always Rejects

RejectionIt’s Sunday, Modern Philosophers, which means I can now talk about last night’s episode of “The Nite Show With Danny Cashman“.  While the show is only on TV in Maine, you can find clips of YouTube if you want to take a look.

I am excited to report that the last two jokes in Danny’s monologue were written by me.  Having two jokes make it onto the air is a new record for me, and I’m pretty excited.

Of course, with every success comes failure, so let me share some of my jokes that didn’t make the cut…

The Ides of March are almost upon us.  That’s the day when Julius Caesar was murdered and supposedly uttered the line: “Et tu, Brute?”  My Latin is a little rusty, but I’m pretty sure that translates to “You backstabbing prick!”

nite logoSpring Break starts for many colleges this week, and as you know, Maine isn’t exactly a preferred destination for college revelers.  So, the Tourism Board started a new ad campaign to try to lure college kids here for the week.  Maybe you’ve heard the slogan? Spring Break in Maine: Where no one will EVER have to see how horrible you look in a bathing suit!

I also wrote a few additional slogans in case he used the joke and it killed: Spring Break in Maine: If the weather doesn’t kill you, the creatures from Stephen King’s novels will!  Spring Break in Maine: You can definitely get the lobster, but you must likely won’t get crabs!  Spring Break in Maine: If only you had listened to your parents and gotten a job last Summer, you’d be able to afford to go someplace much warmer!

Today’s Celebrity Birthdays: James van der Beek and Freddie Prinze, Jr.  If you don’t know who they are, you’re either too young, too old, or you have much bestter taste in movies and TV than I do!

What do you think of those rejects?  Did any of them make you laugh?

Since you’ve been so supportive, Modern Philosophers, here are the jokes that actually made it onto the air last night:

St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner, and the City of Bangor has asked me to share an important announcement.  Passed out drunks WILL NOT be picked up this year as part of the No Sort Recycling Program, so please, do not leave them down on the curb!

As is tradition, McDonald’s will be selling its green shamrock shakes for St. Patrick’s Day.  It’s the one time of year when the color of McDonald’s shakes matches the color of its burgers…

Hope you got a few laughs out of this post.  The show doesn’t tape new episodes again until April, but I promise to return with more rejected jokes at that time.

Remember, even if you don’t live in Maine, you can still support “The Nite Show With Danny Cashman” by liking it on Facebook or by follow it on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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18 Responses to Two Jokes Made It Onto The Air, But There Are Always Rejects

  1. Hahahahaha @ McDonalds joke!

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    Yes, I laughed at the jokes that made it, but I liked the Maine slogans the best – all of them.

    • Austin says:

      Thank you. I just Tweeted the slogans and shared them with The Nite Show on Twitter. Figured the audience has a right to know what they missed! 🙂

  3. List of X says:

    I don’t think any recycling program is required to pick up containers still filled with alcohol.

  4. The lobster & crabs joke was funny.

  5. floridaborne says:

    I’m happy to hear that 2 of your jokes made it to the Maine stage. I keep hoping to hear that one of your screen plays has made it to the theaters, too.

    I never did like mint shakes, and at McD’s it costs a mint to buy them. I’d rather have the vanilla cones. They’re still affordable.

  6. ksbeth says:

    i always love the rejects. hmmmm….

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